Getting Married and Hunting

[kansasmuley]

I'm getting married this summer, August 10th. I may be getting "tied down", but I'm pretty darn excited about it!

I want to hear your experiences and advice/tips to navigate a hobby requiring much time and financial commitment while starting a life together.
She isn't a hunter, but loves to hike and camp and be outside. So, I can double dip on a summer scouting trip and getting backpacking gear, etc.

Hoping this generates a few laughs and some good advice as well!

 

[mmcdonough]

Congrats man! From my experience it doesn't really start to 'tie you down' until the kids come along. I'm going into year 4. The first 2 were just us and it wasn't a whole lot different from by bachelor days. Besides going out on my own to the bars or something. She didn't like that idea too much.

Once the kids come then it gets real. You can't really do much the first 6-8 months. Abandon her at your own risk! She'll be hard pressed to give you a free pass from child rearing. I'm sure everyone has different experiences though. Some wives I'm sure are more open to it then others. A select few I'm guessing. I just didn't get that lucky! I spent maybe 3 days total hunting the entire year after we had our first kid. I only got out on the lake 2-3 times too.

No regrets though, I loved it and my little guy is old enough to go on hikes with me now. We invested in a Dueter kid carrier and that thing is awesome. I throw him in there to pack train for the fall too!

 

[Apollo117]

I hope you get good advice from this thread. My contribution to the pool of advice is to spend as much time with your wife as you do hunting. Bonus points if you accomplish both at the same time.

For a laugh, I'll repeat what my dad told me to say if my wife mentions how much time I spend hunting, "At least I'm not in a bar getting drunk with my idiot friends."

 

[timberland]

You will go through all the paces every married hunter does, learning the do's and don't specific to you and your fiancé. BE PATIENT.
for what its worth, today is my 25th wedding anniversary, and my wife told me Friday that even though I have a week long antelope hunt planned in WY, and a NM elk tag app in, that I should apply for CO, because she knows how much I love it.

 

[renagde]

I've been married almost 7 years now. It doesn't tie you down unless you let it. My wife loves venison so she didn't say to much about my expensive hobbies, until it involved going on 2 week trips out west. We have a deal: every time I buy a new gun, she gets a trip. Every time I go on a hunting trip she gets a trip. Keeps everyone happy and so far it's worked out pretty well.

 

[NateK]

I’m lucky in the fact that my wife and I knew each other very well before we got married so she fully understood how seriously I take hunting. Definitely make the most of the time you are home (quality time!). I try to make sure we keep our finances in such a state that a hunting expense rarely means she can’t buy something she wants. Kids have made it tougher but so far we’ve been able to keep them all being born in the summer so they are sleeping through the night before I’m taking any hunting trips.

 

[cnelk]

Im the last guy you want marriage advice from...

You know why divorce cost so much?? = Because they are WORTH IT!!

Good luck to you tho!

 

[FLAK]

It's not the wife,,,,,,,its the kids.

 

[JWP58]

Everything is a compromise. Dont be afraid to do dishes, laundry, mopping, vacuuming, etc. It will help come sept-dec. I've been with my wife since 2004, and have 2yr old twin boys. If you have an understanding wife, and aren't a lazy f*$k during the off season, hunting wont be an issue.

 

[ddavis_1313]

I told my wife when we started dating that I fish and I hunt. And I hunt a lot. I gave her the opportunity to partake and eased her into it Bc she’s from the city and had never shot a gun much less hunted. She was willing to give it a try and now she loves to hunt as much as I do. The only issues we have about hunting occur when we are trying to decide who gets to shoot. Lol. In the last 4 years she has killed 9 or 10 deer, a turkey, a pig, and several ducks and geese in Oklahoma. This year she’s going to Colorado for third rifle to hunt elk and possibly a mule deer if she can pull a tag in the unit we hunt.

My advice is set expectation early and often. That way it isn’t a surprise when that time comes to hunt. Always try to include her in some way even if she doesn’t hunt. Always invite her hoping she will go although you expect she will say no. The fact that you invite her will remind her that you aren’t going to get away from her or that you don’t see it as a “break” from the ball and chain. If you do go on a trip, check in with her often as best you can. I did this last year in the high country on an elk hunt. Sucked Bc I only had service above tree line so I hunted in a way that put me above tree line at some point daily so I could let her know I was ok.

Never throw it in her face or insult her for not hunting or she will never go. Financially, don’t spend more than you can both afford. Once you’re married, finances are shared so keep her in the loop. It’s a joint decision on money spent for hunting trips and gear and she won’t appreciate you spending 3k on a trip and not including her in on it. Be ready to make sacrifices. Sometimes you just have to put a hunt on the back burner. Comprising is HUGE. So be willing to put a weekend of hunting aside if she has something she wants to do. Try to keep it equal. Also, always make time for both of you. This goes with all parts of marriage and not just during hunting season. And communicate every day.


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[NJDiverDan]

Agree with all the above and will add, especially with kids, you are no longer only responsible for yourself. If you have kids (and your wife) there is a level of personal and financial responsibility that cannot be overlooked. Braces for your teen vs. that hunting trip gets real very quickly. For me it is balancing my very limited time off. This is what really limits my days afield. Need to balance how much family time vs hunting / fishing time in that very limited amount of vacation time. I think some one above said spend as much time with wife as you do hunting, I will reword and change the ratio a bit to spend 2X amount of VACATION time with wife / family as you do hunting.

 

[ptarmigan]

It's not the wife,,,,,,,its the kids.

That's the truth! I hunted and fished ALOT prior to kids, and even when they were young. Now I spend days off at soccer, helping with school work, etc. We still hunt and fish as a family, just not nearly as much as I used to. I'm ok with it though as my kids are only kids once, and they're fun to hang out with.

 

[AKducks]

Here has been my experience:

First year of marriage you are going to be pretty tied down. my wife and I's first big fight was when I had a buddy come up to Fairbanks for a few days and we fished pretty hard. My wife was upset because she didn't realize how much time I was going to spend fishing. I mean I still did a big hunt, and got out but a fraction of what I did before.

After a year things really improved though, I communicated my plans better and went out more (she actually let me go hunting with my brother over HER birthday!), then we had kids and now most weekends I'm waking up early and watching Frozen with a toddler.

Here are my tips:
1) communicate, let you new wife know your plans well ahead of time.

2) include your wife in things, take her hiking, or go to a movie. plan a trip with her (this is big cause when kids come along trips get much harder to plan)

3) Pick and choose what you want to do, you probably can't go out every weekend anymore so you'll need to decide what's most important.

 

[Btaylor]

If you know anyone that has cattle, take a weekend when they are going to be working calves and teach her how to band and how to castrate. It will make her feel empowered and it will go a long ways in keeping you from doing or saying really stupid stuff.

 

[rustneversleeps]

Dont get married, thats my only advice

 

[kansasmuley]

That is fantastic!! It just so happens she's marrying a cattleman, so that's going to be part of her new job description!

 

[pods8 (Rugged Stitching)]

I hope you have been and continue to be very clear on your hunting intentions so its not a surprise, if you soft played it that gets you into trouble. As noted kids can reduce time to go play but you should still make time for yourself to hunt (just like the mom army points out she should make time for herself away from the kids). Letting them know ahead of time and not springing plans makes a difference for sure.

Your income situation along with kids will likely be the crux of the situation if you go down to single income and funds are tight (limits gear money, tags, ability to hire a sitter, etc.).

 

[EastMT]

Make sure and take a nice vacation that she wants to go on also, if you burn up 3-4 weeks hunting in the fall and can’t take her somewhere she really wants to visit that will wear on her.

I’m lucky that my wife loves game meat and when I mention mtn goat, moose, caribou meat she’s all in! Also put her in for tags she doesn’t know about and suprise her with a beginner hunt, my wife drew a caribou tag this year and didn’t even know she put in haha, she’s pretty excited now but not really a hunter either. Ok, so don’t follow this advice if she’s not fairly adventurous it could backfire.

Before we got married I told her I hunt a lot, may go to town for milk and buy a rifle, and that it’s very expensive habit that I’m not willing to cut back on. We had a long talk and I told her this is what I do, like some guys race this or that, some people build 100k hot rods, this is mine. She said as long as we can afford it, go for it. I’ve only got in trouble one time I stopped to see if 22lr was in stock and bought 2 rifles......we compromised and I sold them hahaha.


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[mattferg84]

My wife begged to get married here in Colorado on September 25th because of the fall colors. She agreed that we might have to postpone our anniversary every couple of years because of elk season.

My uncle did it the right way though. He made my aunt sign a contract stating that she cant tell him he cant go and she cant ask how much money he spends on hunting - i'm not kidding. He hunts all around the world with no problems!

 

[Virginian]

Congrats! I'm too dedicated to hunting and my career to get tied down. There's just something about having to ask someone else how much I can spend and when I can go that's off-putting. I use to have a hunting buddy that always had to ask his wife if he could go, we all called it his 'Kitchen pass.' Notice I said I 'use to have' as in past tense. He doesn't hunt anymore.