Taboo Topics of Discussion

[Forestryguy]

This right here...

Wife and oldest daughter take low doses of meds for anxiety. It seems to run on my wife's side of the family. Guys with anxiety have simply been called "high strung" for years, and her Dad is one of these. As he got older and started running into health issues, the anxiety really came to the forefront and was exacerbated. Every time he felt "off" his heart would start racing and he thought he was having a heart attack (this was after he had his first heart attack).

Good buddy did 4 tours in Kuwait, Iraq, and Afghanistan in the infrantry. His last tour was pure hell, and he came home with severe PTSD even though he hid it pretty well from his friends. His wife took the brunt of it with his leaving for days at a time and consuming huge quantities of alchohol to try to cope. At his worst he was drinking a pint of vodka for breakfast followed by an additional full bottle by the end of each day with lots of beers in between. He was fortunate to have the opportunity to attend a treatment program in MN dedicated to veterans and spent several months up there, not coming home until he was ready. Since then he has stayed off the booze 100% and avoids situations where folks are drinking heavily.

One of the biggest kicks in the nuts for him was that after completing treatment, the VA proceeded to cut his benefits because he "was all better". This forced him to change jobs and add a bunch of new stress into his life. Dude had dealt with this new challenge like a champ and is my hero.

In dealing with the VA and all of their infinite wisdom. I would suggest to your friend to seek consultation with someone to recognize his past issues and make a statement along the lines that you are never fully cured of mental issues, You just learn to cope with them. Reapply for his disability, things have changed some in the VA in the last few years when they got themselves in a ringer for mistreatment. I also don't think that a 100% rating can be taken away legally also, not 100% sure on that though. I have been told this by higher people in the VA, that the VA was mandated to run just like an insurance company. That is why somethings are as messed up as they are. I get travel reimbursement to VA appointments, but have to pay a copay up to a certain amount for each reimbursement. I would get legislatures involved and make them work for him.

I am a combat veteran and I have PTSD.

There are two different parts of combat PTSD or maybe two different parts of my PTSD.

1. Night terrors, which I have learned to put a comic spin on. Imagine having the same types of dreams every night for 20 years. Being held down in your sleep by someone or something and not able to move. Seeing old men at the foot of the bed. Having things grab you hard or grab the bed hard in your sleep. Hearing canon fire and music in your sleep, or when the room is quiet.

2. Apprehension about crowds, traffic, amusement parks and so on.

Two things have helped me. There are tons of books written by others that suffer from combat PTSD. Read them. Especially if the guy that wrote it has learned how to deal with it. Don't read one by someone that is dealing with it, and doesn't have it figured out. Find someone that is beating it.

You will learn to beat it for the 2nd part. The night terrors, you will need clinical help for. For that one, ask your Doctor if you can try Prazosin at night.

Not a mental health professional, but going through a mental health class now and this is a topic that we just covered. Your symptoms seem to be right on with most PTSD diagnosis. Agoraphobia is what you are experiencing with not wanting to go into crowds and open places. Hope things continue to improve for you. I am a vet also and deployed to Afghanistan right after 9/11. I can not say that I have PTSD but more along the lines of survivors guilt from losing 2 friends while on that deployment and several others over the years, or people that were severely injured.

This stuff is preventable if you simplify your life. Leave the rat race cause the rats are going to win.

Walk everyday and no ear buds..get/raise a pup and take him along..Make/take the time to develop a great bond with the pup. Dump all negative people/things...

Just simplifying life does not always work. My life is pretty simple, other than being in an intense Nursing School. All of my bills are paid for at the moment, with my GF managing it so I can just focus on school. I do not work, I avoid social media, I walk daily, I try to eat as well as I can (GF makes all the food and meals are prepped just to heat up), I have very little debt, I socialize with a very select few that are good people. I still have anxiety and other issues. My time and energy is spent for solely getting through this program. Maybe one day I will be able to fully leave the rat race, but that will mean being on a mountain and off grid. The profession I am choosing to go into is a rat race everyday, but a necessary one for the betterment of others.

 

[SWOHTR]

So I'll jump in here and say that I deal with it - depression and anxiety. It is not my identity and I do not advertise it. I recognize everyone is different and has different thresholds for tolerance. I take a small dosage of an SSRI daily; it helps and as much as I don't want meds to be part of the long-term solution, I think it will be. I'd say I've struggled with some form of depression since being a teenager. Wife keeps insisting I go to a counselor. I'm not so convinced - for her reasoning of why I need to go - but will anyways. She's been going for a while and seems to find it helpful, but her past is much different than mine.

My honest opinion, right/wrong/indifferent, is that some (some, not ALL) people actively seek these (or any) label/s, which both de-legitimizes and makes necessary resources scarcer for those that actually do need the help. Why they seek these labels, I don't know, maybe it's to be sanctified from the larger group and claim some exclusive entitlements or so they can be labeled as a "victim," which thereby moves the onus of correction from them to the supposed perpetrator. Because now they can be "offended" and trying to tell them different is a no-win deal. This, I cannot stand, and it further delegitimizes those that have an actual disorder/condition that requires treatment. Maybe I am so far off base though, I don't know. I also think there are many people who are soft and lack resiliency.

All that to say, I have been told I lack empathy.

 

[EastHumboldt]

I disagree for the most part. But you can believe what you want.

Zap… I agree with a lot of your opinions… but your FOS on this one. I used to think like you on this subject but my mind has been changed by actual experience.

Clinical level depression/anxiety can not be cured by positive thinking. My wife has literally 350 books on being positive and she’s read them all Over a ten year period. And she is positive. And she avoids negativity like the plague. And she eats healthy and exercises, and we have three lovely mutts that get walked about 10-15 miles a week. Despite anll that, until recently she woke up straight into a full blown panic attack every single f-ing morning. It’s been better for the last threee months because, after trying many drugs, she finally found one that is helping. Sh also had years of counseling which helped but did nothing to stop the panic attacks.

All the positive lifestyle things mentioned here are a great help, and generally contribute to a more positive life experience even if you’re NOT depressed or anxious. They work well coupled with counseling and drug treatment. Some peoples mental health isssues are mild enough that just lifestyle changes alone will fix things, but not all people.

 

[ChrisS]

After watching my wife die from cancer I can tell you that no amount of running every day or diet changes how I feel. Most days, it's not an issue, generally it's just a handful here and there, but I don't know when or where. Mindfulness and meditation helps, in that I recognize what is happening and do something non-self destructive (and by self-destructive, I mean beating myself up or working past the point of exhaustion, etc). A lot of my ambition is gone. I don't care about money, I don't care about things as much as I have in the past. Some of that is beneficial, though.

Depression and anxiety are things people have struggled with throughout history. It's not new or more prevalent. Probably most people in the past self-medicated with alcohol, drugs, and violence*.


*I read something once where someone suggested that a lot of the violence in the classic western years was directly related to a bunch of people coming out of the Civil War with PTSD combined with easily available alcohol and an environment rich with targets to take out frustration on.

 

[*zap*]

Maybe I should have said that I relieved anxiety/depression via my actions.
Hope everyone conquers their issues.
Maybe extreme change is what it takes?

If you do not have control of your mind/emotions what good is anything else?

 

[Dos Perros]

If you don't have control of your mind or actions, how do you get control of your mind and actions? It would seem one would be required for the other (and therein lies the problem).

 

[ODB]

Depression and suicide are super common in my family. I can’t say I have any issues currently, but there are plenty of times I need some space and real quiet time to myself to work through things. Mostly what bugs me is focusing on the past. You grow up being told “get a job with benefits” and “college is for eggheads” or “we can’t afford it” but when things don’t work out well, you start to take classes here and there and then eventually at 45 you walk across the stage to get your diploma as Summa Cum Laude at one of the best schools in the country, it’s hard not to look back and be frustrated you took such bad advice, and wasted so many years thinking success was for “someone else.”

 

[Jimmy]

All different ways that can help, good to see people sharing. Important thing is when you're going through something that you recognize it and realize you need to get some help. However that may be.

 

[Fowl Play]

I'll say I was 100% guilty of thinking that every situation in life can be fixed by pulling yourself up by your boot straps, "manning up", reading your Bible, and getting over it.... until I went through it myself. For me personally, YES, I do think the long term solution was and is purely lifestyle changes. Problem is, I did not know that at the time, until I was too far gone. I had gotten to the point, that without some form of help, there was a much higher likelihood of me drinking myself to death or eating a bullet, then being able to sit here and have this discussion. For some others, it is clinical and they do need professional help or medication, likely indefinitely -- I truly feel for them, as that is a rotten hand to be dealt in life.

I can only speak to my situation, but I did not know what I did not know. When you get to the point of considering suicide, you are a fraction of your former self and it is a truly, grueling fight to get back to where you were. To put it in terms we all relate to, after a terrible accident or injury it's common to go on medication and see doctors about physical therapy so they can teach you what stretches or exercises you can do to help you get better. The same goes for your brain, except we still don't fully understand how it works OR what treatments OR medications help everyone. For some, one medication will help, for others the same medication can make it worse! I remember going my doctor to tell them what I was on was not helping, it's very defeating to hear; "OK, let's change up your medications, we'll need to wait 4-5 weeks to see if it's helping or hurting and we'll go from there." Doctor, "I don't know if I can feel like this for 5 more weeks...." Repeat that several times... it's terrible. For me, the devil was crushing insomnia -- I couldn't sleep. I finally found a combination that worked for me and started getting 2 hrs of sleep a night. Allowed me to barely function and I could start talking to a therapist, who taught me how to cope. More sleep. Then started exercising. And slowly but surely started climbing back out of it, dropping medications, and now I'm to a point where I'm not on any medication and purely lifestyle changes can prevent this from happening again. Definitely needed the help to get to this point, and I wouldn't wish the last two years me and my family have been through on anyone. Thank God, I came through with only about 40lbs of excess fat I need to lose. I have excellent healthcare and a great supportive family and still the whole process was a nightmare. It's much worse for many others.

We are just getting to the point where it's becoming more commonplace for people to do blood tests, etc at the beginning of this which can help identify what medications, therapies, or treatments will have better results on you. Just the fact that, that is necessary though shows just how much we do not understand about the brain.

 

[Tx_6UM]

I’m currently drunk on my back porch so I’m probably going to share things i haven’t with anyone else. I wish men’s mental health was normalized. I struggle with depression that is pretty cyclical and crippling. It gets pretty severe at times, like it is currently. I’m an introvert and having kids/being married uses up every ounce of emotional energy I have. I rarely get any alone time to refill my emotional bank, and usually about once a month it has me questioning if any of this is worth it. My kids are the only thing that keeps me going. I lost my brother in law earlier this year to cancer and I can’t see my kids going through what my nieces are right now. My wife wants me to see a therapist, but I know what my issues are and I don’t see it helping. Too many ****** up calls as a paramedic and a dad who put providing financially over being present are the source of my issues. “That’s about all I got to say about that.”-forest gump

I did just start on TRT, I’m hoping that will help with some of the issues I’m having.

 

[Justin Crossley]

As a religious person...

That WILL NOT fix a chemical imbalance.

A knowledge of theology is not the same as an understanding of psychology.

There is a huge difference between feeling down or frustrated and being depressed, same with being worried about life and anxiety.

Fair.

I just get frustrated (because of my experience) when people see it as THE fix.

It can definitely be part of it.

But sometimes people NEED medication and/or professional help and I feel like it's frequently discouraged.

I didn't say it was "THE FIX". I said I recommend it as a place to start. That's just my recommendation when people I know and love deal with depression or anxiety. Or if strangers are suffering from those things.

They are much better off getting professional help from someone who is grounded in faith.

Also, I didn't say anything about medication at all. The need for that should be determined by a doctor which I definitely am not.

 

[Swamp Fox]

Good music helps.

You phuckers are tougher than 99% of the other phuckers out there.

 

[SWOHTR]

, and wasted so many years thinking success was for “someone else.”

this is how I am presently thinking about elk hunting…

 

[schmalzy]

I’m currently drunk on my back porch so I’m probably going to share things i haven’t with anyone else. I wish men’s mental health was normalized. I struggle with depression that is pretty cyclical and crippling. It gets pretty severe at times, like it is currently. I’m an introvert and having kids/being married uses up every ounce of emotional energy I have. I rarely get any alone time to refill my emotional bank, and usually about once a month it has me questioning if any of this is worth it. My kids are the only thing that keeps me going. I lost my brother in law earlier this year to cancer and I can’t see my kids going through what my nieces are right now. My wife wants me to see a therapist, but I know what my issues are and I don’t see it helping. Too many ****** up calls as a paramedic and a dad who put providing financially over being present are the source of my issues. “That’s about all I got to say about that.”-forest gump

I did just start on TRT, I’m hoping that will help with some of the issues I’m having.

Thanks for having the courage to share. Pm sent


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[EastHumboldt]

Good music helps.

You phuckers are tougher than 99% of the other phuckers out there.

I love this song so much. Quite a few years ago I was helping a friend with branding. Night came and I got out my guitar since it was a cow camp, I had to play this song of course. It was going well until I got to the yodeling part. My friend stopped me…. He said “Larry, you just keep on singing, but this is a NON YODELING camp.”

I admire all of you guys so much for bringing this up and talking about it, and recognizing that smetmes we all just need a little help of one kind or another. The myth of the strong proud rugged self made individualist is super powerful in American culture. (Prolly other cultures too) It’s a hard thing to overcome. To admit your vulnerability among friends is actually a stronger thing to do.

 

[Turkeytider]

No I don't. . . But wife has a healthy dose of anxiety and my oldest has struggled with both.

Best advice, talk to someone! Preferably a good counselor. Medication is an option and definitely has a place. But talking to someone, especially someone trained to help can be a huge help.

And anxiety doesn't care if you're man or women. Unfortunately too many men don't want to talk or share their problems because of how they were raised to repress things and "be strong". It takes a lot more strength to admit to a problem and deal with it than it does to push it down and ignore it!

Sage advice. I spent a career in behavioral medicine and saw first hand how stunningly pervasive mental and emotional health issues are in our society and the damage they can do.

 

[Yoder]

My wife has been through hell with this. She has depression, PTSD and terrible anxiety. Treatment centers, therapists, medications all helped. Took a long time. Even after all of that she had ridiculous anxiety. If you struggle with bad anxiety and haven't found something that works, I highly recommend trying Ketamine infusions. They recommended a series of six treatments. I think it was three times a week for two weeks. After the second treatment, her anxiety was pretty much gone. It lasted two months. She went back for another treatment, and she's been good for over a month so far. It doesn't work for everyone, but this has been like a miracle cure for her.

 

[ODB]

A LOT of guys I know are dealing with stuff.

I do not think it’s a coincidence the rise in mental issues with guys and that the last decade has been a war on “toxic masculinity” and the “me too” movement etc. guys, from many angles, have been demonized unnecessarily and there is/will be a high price.

 

[mt terry d]

I do a bit of dirt biking and have followed this guy for a while.

I really like his honesty.

Hey, we all have issues. We all need help with something.

 

[bigunit]

About 15 years ago I was going through trade school away from home while my girlfriend (now wife) was pregnant and my sister was dying of cancer. I started to get bad chest pains while in public and at other random times of stress. I ended up in the hospital a couple of times thinking I was having a heart attack. They ran some tests and said I was fine each time.

I knew there was something wrong with me and the health care system was no help. I finally put 2 and 2 together and figured out I was having anxiety attacks. I was under a lot of stress and never realized it. I finally got my family doctor to do a stress test and he diagnosed me with anxiety. For the longest time I took escitalopram and it did me a lot of good. I recently stopped taking it and am still feeling OK. I cut back a lot on alcohol since it seemed to not be doing my anxiety any good at all.