Men’s Mental Health Challenge

[CorbLand]

It's hard to make friends as a couple that align with your values and share the same interests. My wife and I are in the same boat. We had/have a couple that we have been friends with for quite a while. Our kids grew up together, but somewhere along the line our mutual interests moved on.

It is very hard. My wife and I not having a child (yet) isnt helping. Most people our age around here have kids already.

We invited a couple over for dinner last Sunday. We have a fair amount in common. Her husband is a buck/duck hunter and I am a duck/buck hunter. She likes horses. My wife likes horses. Planned it all out about 2 weeks in advance. They confirmed that it would work for them. Texted them about a week before to finalize details. Never got a response. Never showed up.

 

[IDVortex]

It is very hard. My wife and I not having a child (yet) isnt helping. Most people our age around here have kids already.

We invited a couple over for dinner last Sunday. We have a fair amount in common. Her husband is a buck/duck hunter and I am a duck/buck hunter. She likes horses. My wife likes horses. Planned it all out about 2 weeks in advance. They confirmed that it would work for them. Texted them about a week before to finalize details. Never got a response. Never showed up.

Sadly. I feel, the older I get the harder it is to make friends. My wife and I have no couples to hangout with, she has a few friends and so do I. At least we have my dog.

 

[Customweld]

It is very hard. My wife and I not having a child (yet) isnt helping. Most people our age around here have kids already.

We invited a couple over for dinner last Sunday. We have a fair amount in common. Her husband is a buck/duck hunter and I am a duck/buck hunter. She likes horses. My wife likes horses. Planned it all out about 2 weeks in advance. They confirmed that it would work for them. Texted them about a week before to finalize details. Never got a response. Never showed up.

Man, some people just make you scratch your head. Not even a courtesy text.

 

[Ridge Runner]

Great topic and thanks for posting. For me it's my son. Went through a tough divorce that I didn't see coming. Found out through the process that my now ex had been having affairs throughout our 20+ yr marriage. I was of the mindset that if I worked my butt off and provided for my family everything would be okay. Assumed my ex was taking care of everything else. When it all unraveled I found out how wrong I was. Spiraled after moving out and things got pretty dark. Darkness led me to get fired from a job that I was really good at and made good money but just couldn't do it anymore. Definitely considered ending it all multiple times as I sat alone in my tiny apartment with no job. Fortunately every time it got real bad I'd think of what it would do to my son (around 10 yrs at the time) and couldn't do it.

Since then I met and married a wonderful women who stood beside me and sometimes carried me through the dark stuff. Found a new job that I enjoy and we have built a great life together. Have learned what a real partner in marriage is and realize how much I missed out on being married to the wrong person for 20+ years.

I know it's cliche but it does get better. Fortunately for me I found something to hold on to until it did.

 

[Mike Islander]

Some people think telling a depressed person to 'cheer up' is good advice. That isn't how it works. It's akin to telling a short guy to just be taller. We're all made different and we have different struggles. If you don't, good for you count your blessings!

Depression and other mental health issues can be impossible to understand or relate to, unless you yourself have those same struggles. But they are very real.

It's healthy for me to think about my purpose. Some of us can tend to look inside ourselves and get in a spiral. But to look outward towards others and what can I do for them? I feel so good and happy after I serve others. Help them move something heavy, mow an old persons yard, get someone some groceries, play games, bring someone a meal, change a flat, get their cows back in, the list goes on. When I do something for others it always somehow seems to help me even more. Anyways, my 2 cents

True enough. Telling them to eat right, exercise, get sun exposure, and try use techniques that help with getting good sleep often won't work. But if they do those things, the vast majority of the time it dramatically changes them, reduces or eliminates depression, and with far better results than even therapy combined with the "best" available psyche drugs. So you have to be creative and find a way to get them to actually do those things, which is impossible without their consent.

 

[*zap*]

 

[miket]

I have no idea how it feels to be depressed due to chemical imbalances or horrible things like the death of a child etc. I am thankful for that and feel for those that do.

I had a pretty rough childhood, but could have been much worse. Been through several marriages and been cheated on by 2 wives. Likely have never had a healthy relationship with anyone other than my kids. Raised my 2 oldest alone for several years when my ex left and I got custody of them at 3 and 4yo. Toughest time of my life, working full time raising 2 little kids alone. I was so tired. All the time. And so broke.

I learned when things are bad, keep pushing. Grit your teeth and push on. Cry if you want, but it doesn't help. Push till you come out the other side. **** everyone that's against you. I had people laugh in my face at my dreams. Literally. That only strengthens my resolve. It may not be healthy, I don't know, but let the anger drive you to your goals.

My kids are all adults now, had my first grandchild a few weeks ago. I am 49 and shutting my business down to retire. I am having a house built on 224ac in AR. Practically no debt, despite divorces. Despite having no HS Diploma. Despite leaving home at 17yo with all I owned in the cab of a POS 17yo pickup. Despite the naysayers and people that laughed in my face.

I realize my history was easy compared to many.( there is much more, but you get the point ) I am sorry for that. You were dealt what you were dealt, but the rest is in YOUR hands.

Stay strong brothers

 

[lyle_destroys]

Alright internet strangers, here goes nothing!

I have struggled with mental illness my entire life. My official diagnosis is "Complex PTSD" from repeated childhood issues and trauma. I also have been told I am less than "typical" in terms of potentially being neuro-divergent. I'm very awkward in social settings, didn't read until I was in the 2nd grade, but started doing college level math in middle school (I entered undergrad with enough credits to be considered a junior). Luckily, I was able to point those skills/quirks into a career (see username).

Something that has helped so far is EMDR therapy. It sounds hokey, but helped me process a lot of the crap that happened. Being in the outdoors helps a ton as well. If I'm able to make it through a tough hunt and not give up on myself, daily life is much smoother and easier.

Symptoms include anxiety and panic attacks stemming from flashbacks, which sucks because I have two boys now. They'll be doing something innocuous (playing, drawing, etc.) that will bring me right back to a very bad place. It's a work in progress.

If you're struggling, there are some amazing resources out there to help. You don't have to carry this burden alone.

Keep working on it, I’m proud of you. Just understanding what causes you to go back is a huge step.

 

[lyle_destroys]

Daily self imposed adversity, just camp out somewhere-unplug from the net for a night and read a book made from paper....

View attachment 775043

View attachment 775042

What do you like to read?

 

[lyle_destroys]

Father passed away last night with the help of hospice. Grief is hitting hard this morning.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

Hope you and your family are managing to get by in the circumstances. What’s your favorite memory of him?

 

[*zap*]

What do you like to read?

Mostly fiction, end of the world stuff.
Day by day Armageddon series is entertaining.
You?

 

[lyle_destroys]

Misery loves company.


Some days are good. Some days are bad. Some days I wish I would have went through with putting that bullet in my head. But I wake up and push on.

Last 3-4 years have been hard to say the least. Life has been good in what is important but everything else has been hard. Many of my friends have moved or we have gone separate ways for various reasons. Wife and I have tried to make new friends but every time it falls flat. Not sure what to do or where to turn. They say the fun is in the adventure so I am just testing that theory.

I get it. I was right there with you at one point. Sometimes the little things pile up and make big things.

 

[lyle_destroys]

I have no idea how it feels to be depressed due to chemical imbalances or horrible things like the death of a child etc. I am thankful for that and feel for those that do.

I had a pretty rough childhood, but could have been much worse. Been through several marriages and been cheated on by 2 wives. Likely have never had a healthy relationship with anyone other than my kids. Raised my 2 oldest alone for several years when my ex left and I got custody of them at 3 and 4yo. Toughest time of my life, working full time raising 2 little kids alone. I was so tired. All the time. And so broke.

I learned when things are bad, keep pushing. Grit your teeth and push on. Cry if you want, but it doesn't help. Push till you come out the other side. **** everyone that's against you. I had people laugh in my face at my dreams. Literally. That only strengthens my resolve. It may not be healthy, I don't know, but let the anger drive you to your goals.

My kids are all adults now, had my first grandchild a few weeks ago. I am 49 and shutting my business down to retire. I am having a house built on 224ac in AR. Practically no debt, despite divorces. Despite having no HS Diploma. Despite leaving home at 17yo with all I owned in the cab of a POS 17yo pickup. Despite the naysayers and people that laughed in my face.

I realize my history was easy compared to many.( there is much more, but you get the point ) I am sorry for that. You were dealt what you were dealt, but the rest is in YOUR hands.

Stay strong brothers

Success in spite of everything else. Good on you man.

 

[lyle_destroys]

Mostly fiction, end of the world stuff.
Day by day Armageddon series is entertaining.
You?

War history but only if it’s crazy. Things about frontiersmen and trappers, old alaska, explorers. Everything I ever wanted to be lol.
Day by day Armageddon is a whole series? I may have to look into it. I used to love specifically apocalyptic fiction.

 

[lyle_destroys]

It is very hard. My wife and I not having a child (yet) isnt helping. Most people our age around here have kids already.

We invited a couple over for dinner last Sunday. We have a fair amount in common. Her husband is a buck/duck hunter and I am a duck/buck hunter. She likes horses. My wife likes horses. Planned it all out about 2 weeks in advance. They confirmed that it would work for them. Texted them about a week before to finalize details. Never got a response. Never showed up.

Same thing happened to me multiple times. “Yeah we’ll be there, sounds great, next time at our house, maybe a vacation together”. It gets old, grow up and tell me you don’t like me!

 

[*zap*]

War history but only if it’s crazy. Things about frontiersmen and trappers, old alaska, explorers. Everything I ever wanted to be lol.
Day by day Armageddon is a whole series? I may have to look into it. I used to love specifically apocalyptic fiction.

He is a good writer. Navy guy.
Wrote tomorrow war 2 book series also, which is an entertaining read.

 

[lyle_destroys]

True enough. Telling them to eat right, exercise, get sun exposure, and try use techniques that help with getting good sleep often won't work. But if they do those things, the vast majority of the time it dramatically changes them, reduces or eliminates depression, and with far better results than even therapy combined with the "best" available psyche drugs. So you have to be creative and find a way to get them to actually do those things, which is impossible without their consent.

Not impossible, just difficult. And if you don’t like difficult then why are you on rokslide?

 

[lyle_destroys]

Just wanted to check in with everyone on this thread and annyone else tonight. Tell me something about you, any of you assholes! Tell me about something you’re proud of. Tell me a good memory. Tell me a reason why you’re proud of your kids, or your dog. Or just read this thread and try to feel like you aren’t alone out there, because you aren’t.