Men’s Mental Health Challenge

[CorbLand]

It's hard to make friends as a couple that align with your values and share the same interests. My wife and I are in the same boat. We had/have a couple that we have been friends with for quite a while. Our kids grew up together, but somewhere along the line our mutual interests moved on.

It is very hard. My wife and I not having a child (yet) isnt helping. Most people our age around here have kids already.

We invited a couple over for dinner last Sunday. We have a fair amount in common. Her husband is a buck/duck hunter and I am a duck/buck hunter. She likes horses. My wife likes horses. Planned it all out about 2 weeks in advance. They confirmed that it would work for them. Texted them about a week before to finalize details. Never got a response. Never showed up.

 

[IDVortex]

It is very hard. My wife and I not having a child (yet) isnt helping. Most people our age around here have kids already.

We invited a couple over for dinner last Sunday. We have a fair amount in common. Her husband is a buck/duck hunter and I am a duck/buck hunter. She likes horses. My wife likes horses. Planned it all out about 2 weeks in advance. They confirmed that it would work for them. Texted them about a week before to finalize details. Never got a response. Never showed up.

Sadly. I feel, the older I get the harder it is to make friends. My wife and I have no couples to hangout with, she has a few friends and so do I. At least we have my dog.

 

[Customweld]

It is very hard. My wife and I not having a child (yet) isnt helping. Most people our age around here have kids already.

We invited a couple over for dinner last Sunday. We have a fair amount in common. Her husband is a buck/duck hunter and I am a duck/buck hunter. She likes horses. My wife likes horses. Planned it all out about 2 weeks in advance. They confirmed that it would work for them. Texted them about a week before to finalize details. Never got a response. Never showed up.

Man, some people just make you scratch your head. Not even a courtesy text.

 

[Ridge Runner]

Great topic and thanks for posting. For me it's my son. Went through a tough divorce that I didn't see coming. Found out through the process that my now ex had been having affairs throughout our 20+ yr marriage. I was of the mindset that if I worked my butt off and provided for my family everything would be okay. Assumed my ex was taking care of everything else. When it all unraveled I found out how wrong I was. Spiraled after moving out and things got pretty dark. Darkness led me to get fired from a job that I was really good at and made good money but just couldn't do it anymore. Definitely considered ending it all multiple times as I sat alone in my tiny apartment with no job. Fortunately every time it got real bad I'd think of what it would do to my son (around 10 yrs at the time) and couldn't do it.

Since then I met and married a wonderful women who stood beside me and sometimes carried me through the dark stuff. Found a new job that I enjoy and we have built a great life together. Have learned what a real partner in marriage is and realize how much I missed out on being married to the wrong person for 20+ years.

I know it's cliche but it does get better. Fortunately for me I found something to hold on to until it did.

 

[Mike Islander]

Some people think telling a depressed person to 'cheer up' is good advice. That isn't how it works. It's akin to telling a short guy to just be taller. We're all made different and we have different struggles. If you don't, good for you count your blessings!

Depression and other mental health issues can be impossible to understand or relate to, unless you yourself have those same struggles. But they are very real.

It's healthy for me to think about my purpose. Some of us can tend to look inside ourselves and get in a spiral. But to look outward towards others and what can I do for them? I feel so good and happy after I serve others. Help them move something heavy, mow an old persons yard, get someone some groceries, play games, bring someone a meal, change a flat, get their cows back in, the list goes on. When I do something for others it always somehow seems to help me even more. Anyways, my 2 cents

True enough. Telling them to eat right, exercise, get sun exposure, and try use techniques that help with getting good sleep often won't work. But if they do those things, the vast majority of the time it dramatically changes them, reduces or eliminates depression, and with far better results than even therapy combined with the "best" available psyche drugs. So you have to be creative and find a way to get them to actually do those things, which is impossible without their consent.

 

[*zap*]