What animals could you beat in a fight?

[Drenalin]

so far I'm an 0fer with fire ants

kangaroo attacking a dog

A more experienced roo wouldn't let him get away with dropping the left like that.

 

[twall13]

I think for me there's a difference in what I'd want to fight and what I feel like I could win if I had to. I've been attacked by a few geese before and don't have any desire to fight them, but I feel like I would come out on top if forced to fight. As a kid I had to feed the chickens and for years we had a rooster that would attack me daily, spurs out, pecking etc. I have to believe I broke some ribs on him kicking him across the chicken coop a few times but he still came back for more every day. Animals are tough.

Dogs, I think it depends a lot on the breed. How many criminals come out on top when the K9 unit is released on them?

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[sram9102]

I tried fetching a cat that a buddies dogs were after out from under a vehicle once. It failed to differentiate me from its attackers. I got it out from under the car and threw it about 20 feet towards the barn. Ended up with a few pretty good scratches and bites that got infected. We no longer have a cat. I don't think dispatching one by hand would be terribly difficult but if its got all its claws your getting your arms pretty torn up.

 

[Dos Perros]

I really want to understand the subset of folks that said "Gorilla? I'd win. Lion? Sign me up. Elephant? No problemo. Grizzly? Eff that noise I'm out."

 

[BFR]

I can unequivocally state, I have NEVER lost a fight with a moth!

 

[Oldhunter2]

I can beat Rat comfortably

 

[GSPHUNTER]

I have killed a lot of mosquitoes but, they have drawn lots of blood.

 

[mcr-85]

When I was working on a drilling rig in North Dakota one night I had the smart idea of catching a muskrat. Leading up to this, a couple of hands had caught one and it hung out in the drillers shack and didn't harm anyone. This was the first muskrat I'd been around and figured they must be pretty docile. In hindsight, he must have been sick, or the one I tried to catch was just a prick. The one I tried to catch was a big one waddling around out by some pipe racks. I snuck up behind him and tried to get ahold of him and he went on the fight. I was surprised for a little critter how high they can jump, which was about belt high. He went on the offence and I went on the defense jumping back, kicking and eventually throwing my hard hat at him and retreating. I didn't win that fight and still laugh about how much that little bastard scared me at the time.

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[*zap*]

I could beat any animal in a fight because I understand that if you fight fair your tactics suck.

 

[WCB]

When I was working on a drilling rig in North Dakota one night I had the smart idea of catching a muskrat. Leading up to this, a couple of hands had caught one and it hung out in the drillers shack and didn't harm anyone. This was the first muskrat I'd been around and figured they must be pretty docile. In hindsight, he must have been sick, or the one I tried to catch was just a prick. The one I tried to catch was a big one waddling around out by some pipe racks. I snuck up behind him and tried to get ahold of him and he went on the fight. I was surprised for a little critter how high they can jump, which was about belt high. He went on the offence and I went on the defense jumping back, kicking and eventually throwing my hard hat at him and retreating. I didn't win that fight and still laugh about how much that little bastard scared me at the time.

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Hahaha my wife (girlfriend at the time) found that out the hard way. We were trapping some sloughs for muskrats and I pulled a live one out of a hut. It happened to pop out of the leg hold and instantly jumped and latched on to her inner thigh. She had heavy winter bibs on so no harm but it was funny as hell watching her jump around with it attached to her leg, all the while trying to smack it of with the stick used to club them in the head. Lasted for a good 8-10 seconds.

 

[PVHunter]

Chimps are brutal. Apparently they go right for the nose, bite off the opposable thumbs, and the family jewels. No way anyone is getting close to beating a chimp.

Redirect Notice

So, the strange part isn't even the fact that he had his fingers, buttocks and face "devoured."

Unlike Nash, Davis had extensive experience with chimpanzees. He and his wife, LaDonna Davis, raised a baby chimp like a human in their suburban home for three decades. They taught their "boy" Moe to dress in plaid dinner jackets, eat with a fork and knife, drive a car, use the toilet and write his own name.
Moe, reportedly rescued from poachers in Africa in 1967, even stood as the best man at their wedding.

Who in their right mind says, "Hey, hon - I've got an idea. Let's adopt a chimpanzee, dress it in plaid, and teach it to poop in the toilet. Who knows? Maybe one day it'll give the toast at our wedding."

 

[wind gypsy]

I'm baffled that anyone thinks they could beat any of the animals below wolf and that roughly half the people think a goose has them beat..

 

[GSPHUNTER]

I could beat any animal in a fight because I understand that if you fight fair your tactics suck.

You must have know my dad.

 

[AK Troutbum]

I know I could kick the living shit out of a bear. When I say bear, I’m talking about a huggy bear of course. One similar to this, but maybe not quite as big.

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[ramsdude47]

When I first moved to CO, I had this machismo attitude that I could take a mountain lion.

After reading about their capabilities (mainly that they can jump ~45 feet) I no longer have that attitude.

 

[Rock-o]

Either the British lack confidence or Americans are superior. Or both.

 

[sndmn11]

View attachment 320989

For real! I went to Australia in high school to play baseball for a month, those red roos are smack next to moose for the scariest animals I have been around.

 

[505Wapiti]

Swans are pure evil. In college my buddy and I used to bass fish a pond between campus and a retirement home. There was a pair that lived on this pond and they were super territorial. I had heard people say they had caused some elderly people to fall out back by a large gazebo of the retirement center. One time I casted out and before I could even start to retrieve my lure, this thing came at me like a rabid pterodactyl across the water and I can still hear the noise from its wings coming at me, something I will never forget. I managed to fight it off and it retreated. It then swam back and forth in front of me taunting me and pissing me off because all I wanted to do was fish and this thing was ruining a good time. I remembered what I heard about them messing with the elderly people and got even more pissed off. About this time it started toward me again and I started backing up the bank reeling in my line really fast. I barely got it in and was backing up the bank when this thing came out of the water at me again. I happened to look down and there was a broken branch next to me that was about 2 feet long and pretty straight. It was like it was meant to be, so I bent down to grab it and when I did this thing was on me quick and then I proceeded to warp the living hell out of it for a couple of minutes. Taught that swan a major lesson that day. Tried really hard to kill it before it finally retreated. My buddy and I still laugh about that 30 years later.

 

[browning2480]

Swans are pure evil. In college my buddy and I used to bass fish a pond between campus and a retirement home. There was a pair that lived on this pond and they were super territorial. I had heard people say they had caused some elderly people to fall out back by a large gazebo of the retirement center. One time I casted out and before I could even start to retrieve my lure, this thing came at me like a rabid pterodactyl across the water and I can still hear the noise from its wings coming at me, something I will never forget. I managed to fight it off and it retreated. It then swam back and forth in front of me taunting me and pissing me off because all I wanted to do was fish and this thing was ruining a good time. I remembered what I heard about them messing with the elderly people and got even more pissed off. About this time it started toward me again and I started backing up the bank reeling in my line really fast. I barely got it in and was backing up the bank when this thing came out of the water at me again. I happened to look down and there was a broken branch next to me that was about 2 feet long and pretty straight. It was like it was meant to be, so I bent down to grab it and when I did this thing was on me quick and then proceeded to warp the living hell out of it for a couple of minutes. Taught that swan a major lesson that day. Tried really hard to kill it before it finally retreated. My buddy and I still laugh about that 30 years later.

That is cheating though, according to this study. If there wasn’t a branch, could you have taken the Swan?

 

[Anglo-American]

Saw this study and thought it was funny/interesting. In one on one, unarmed, hand to hoof combat, what animals could you best?

Which animals could Britons beat in a fight? | YouGov

Things don’t look good for anyone confronted by anything scarier than a medium-sized dog

yougov.co.uk

I think the chimp might be an under rated opponent. The king cobra would likely be a draw, no survivors. The wolf is ranked too high and should have more parity with large dog.

You.