What animals could you beat in a fight?

[505Wapiti]

That is cheating though, according to this study. If there wasn’t a branch, could you have taken the Swan?

Knowing what I know now, I would try to grab it by the neck and Bam Bam it back and forth like on the Flintstones cartoon. Back then I wasn’t prepared at the moment. LOL.

 

[Dos Perros]

At work we had a guy attacked by a goose and he fell in the parking lot and hit his head. It ended up pretty bad, like then he had an aneurism or maybe he went into a coma or something, not sure exactly. He eventually came back.

 

[Rob5589]

How many criminals come out on top when the K9 unit is released on them?

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Having tended to dozens over 29 years I can confidently say, 0. Lol

 

[aclawrence]

Not sure if I should admit this, but I was attacked by a feral cat years ago and that SOB about whipped my ass. I was laying on my garage floor working on my Jeep with the doors open and I guess it was that pussy’s time of month. I looked over just in time to see it jump in my head. I ended up with dozens of nasty infected cuts and bites and a few stitches. It took a full load of #4 buckshot and still ran off to die!
That experience made me really think about the power a mountain lion must have.

I’ve thought the same thing. I used to have a cat and we would play around and I could tell it could hit me hard enough there’s no way I’d want any sort of wrestling a mountain lion. I could take a small cat but it would not be pretty lol.


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[Fatcamp]

No human is beating a chimp. That's stupid.

And anyone who thinks they are beating an elephant is living in Disney™ Dreamland.

 

[TSAMP]

A house cat doesn't seem scary at all until it's waiting at the top of the stairs with its ears back daring you to try and come up.

 

[BigCountry49]

Don’t sleep on house cats. They’re just miniature tigers that never moved out of their mom’s basement.

 

[cod007]

This has to be the funniest thread I’ve read on this forum. Especially page one. This brings back so many animal confrontations I’ve had or seen over the years my gut hurts.
Thanks for all the laughs!

 

[Traveler]

I don’t know about that Goose. I had an encounter a couple years ago and I decided to run like a coward instead of put up a fight lol

I saw a goose cause someone to break their thumb falling down while running away

 

[DenverCountryBoy]

You.

Lighten up, Francis.

 

[jmez]

Having tended to dozens over 29 years I can confidently say, 0. Lol

Anyone thinks they would even remotely have as chance against an apprehension dog are not familiar with them. Mist are medium sized. A malinois is no joke.

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[Deadfall]

This is awesome. So needed this thread tonight....thanks for the laughs...

 

[Rob5589]

Anyone thinks they would even remotely have as chance against an apprehension dog are not familiar with them. Mist are medium sized. A malinois is no joke.

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Had a dude one time that was bit on the calf. You could see through it, literally. Needless to say, he wished he hadn't fought the dog.

 

[jmez]

My brother had same thing happen. They had to reattach his calf muscle. Dog pulled it off.

He's a dog handler for HP. Was in a suit and dog got around behind him.

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[robtattoo]

See..... ever since the first Mnt-Ops fueled, Kuiu cavedude first dirtnapped an animal with a Bloodrunner (tm) tipped spear, humans have been reliant on technology to subjugate nature.
Unfortunately for us, that means that we've evolved into the slowest, weakest most prey-like species on the planet.
Literally EVERYTHING is harder than we are now.
Shit..... a few thousand years ago we used to Chase down mammoths & basically dick-punch & headbutt them to death, then eat them.
Now? Your dachshund will literally jack you up just for practice. House cat? Forget it. You're basically an instinctively dead food delivery device. Pet dog? No chance.
Once you start talking about non-domesticated animals, they're isn't one that couldn't, if offered the chance, recycle you into food or habitat in a heartbeat.

 

[Beaveralum]

Having tended to dozens over 29 years I can confidently say, 0. Lol

So far my partner is undefeated.

 

[EastMT]

I once wrestled an opossum when I woke up in a drunken slumber on a river bank at 3am with him staring me in the eyes from about 6” away. Not sure who won, but it was an honorable fight. Probably told his buddies he was almost killed by a madman in an ambush.

 

[Dos Perros]

I gonna call it: I could **** up an armadillo.

 

[505Wapiti]

Had an old farmer one time tell me about one of his hired hands that fell asleep in a pickup parked next a creek one night with his window down. He said the guy woke up with a raccoon hind legs on the mirror and front legs on the window opening of the door looking him right in the face. He said he made the mistake of growling at it and that coon went wild ass ape on his face.

 

[Rob5589]

I gonna call it: I could **** up an armadillo.

Maybe if he was rolled up in a ball. Kick him around like Beckham