Son's first big game tag, Advice for a demanding father.

[BATTLEBORN]

My son drew his first big game tag this year ( Mule Deer, Area 6 Nevada) he is 14yo. I have coached him sports most of his life and can be very demanding of him. We have been preparing physically (Me mostly as he is in in great shape), shooting and getting comfortable behind the .243 he will be using, looking at field photos of deer and talking about shot placement, and making sure all gear and vehicles are ready to roll. I'm a seasoned hunter and know the area very well but this is the first time taking my own son on a big game hunt. I want him to be successful and have FUN.

My Question and reason for this thread.

What other preparations can I be doing to with him to hopefully have a successful outcome? As most of us know things can get contentious between dad and son. Is there something specific that you did with your kids that made the experience a good one?

Thanks for the advice.

 

[Fatcamp]

Chill out. You only get one chance to spend time together, and that's way more important than any freaking deer.

 

[TreeWalking]

I have raised two kids. Through a divorce and each of us remarried. I have a doctor and a successful finance officer.

I was a hard-driving outdoorsperson as a kid and wanted to relive my glory days through them. One winter day after about 100 outings, my boys were around age 5 (twins) and we ended up ice fishing at a buddy's pond using meal worms to catch bluegill. Tiny bluegill. My sons had a blast because after about 10 seconds of dropping the hook into the ice hole there was a fish yanking on the end of the pole.

I wanted them to catch 10-pound bass and 30-pound catfish but they wanted action. They wanted time to walk on the ice to hear the ice crack and scream. To toss a stick and see it slide. They played. And fished.

I switched modes that our time in the outdoor was to put a smile on their faces rather than be the best at some metric I put in front of them to meet or exceed.

They love the outdoors but in ways I never did. I am okay with that.

 

[PorterNY]

I have 4 kids, 2 boys/2girls ..we coonhunt with dogs, hunt whitetail, turkey, and recently got into waterfowl. We run a small trap line when time allows. We fish and ice fish…. I have observed this much so far…
It’s all about the fun, snacks, and the adventure…. It has nothing to do with size of animal or score… it’s about them spending time with there father doing things they don’t get to do every day.

 

[Billogna]

I have two sons (5 and 7). I'm on them to do well and be respectful all the time. But I genuinely enjoy being out in nature. I try to use our time outside to show them that dad's not always a hardass!. That I like to slow down and relax but also get down to business and chase critters! I think it's important for them to see that side of me, doing things I love and smiling! They like the outdoors for their own reasons (throwing rocks, jumping over logs, playing with the flashlights etc.) But they ALWAYS want to go!! And that's the best part so far! I guess we will see when we get to teen years.

 

[cjdewese]

Like others have already said, don't make the success of harvesting an animal the driving factor.

I wish I had a dad that hunts but I don't. I think the #1 thing that I would enjoy about having a dad or anyone in my family that hunts is learning HOW to hunt from someone I care about.

Explain things to him in a way that makes sense.

Why are you setting up on a particular spot? What are you looking for as you do? How to identify different animal tracks? How thermals work and how animals use them to survive, You are a seasoned hunter, it would be cool to have another seasoned hunter to hunt with for the rest of your life.

Let him provide any feedback that he can. What kind of deer would he like to shoot? Does he want to put a stock on the animal to try and get as close as he can before taking the shot?

Make it an enjoyable experience so he wants to keep coming back and hunting with you.

If you aren't careful and don't keep him enjoying it you may end up without a hunting partner for the rest of your life and a kid that was hurt in the process.

 

[CorbLand]

I don't have kids and didn't grow up in a "hunting" family my dad passed when I was young. One thing I observed and learnt from a group of guys I hunted with for a bit.

Two brothers. Brother A was driven, liked to kill animals and does so very successfully. Brother B likes hunting, is driven but more laid back when it comes to killing animals. They each had kids, roughly the same age and they would take them when they were younger. Brother A would push his kids, sun, rain, snow, it didn't matter. It is what it takes to kill animals. Brother B would take the time to start a fire when the kids got cold, let them wander in the wrong direction, took plenty of snacks. 25 years later, brother B is the one that has kids as hunting partners.

Remember, he is a kid and that more important than any animal he may kill, the memory and experience will be worth more to him in 25 years. I would give up killing animals for the rest of my life for one fishing trip with my dad. Just enjoy it.

 

[MattB]

Remember this is his hunt, not yours. Figure out what he wants to get out of it and support that. Based on the comment "As most of us know things can get contentious between dad and son", it leads me to believe that you may need to work triple-hard at that.

Make it fun, make sure he is comfortable (warm/dry), and bring some junk food.

 

[elkhunterUT]

I have 3 teenage kids (2 boys and 1 girl) and all hunt and have killed big game animals with bow, rifle, and muzzleloader. I am in no way perfect and have made many mistakes with them, but I have tried really hard to make it "their" hunt and to not place any of my expectations on the experience, including asserting what I think we should do or how hard I think we should be working.

As a funny but helpful example: My youngest 13 year old son hunted for the first time last year with a Utah general season muzzleloader tag. We hiked into a likely area opening morning and saw quite a few deer but no bucks. We hiked to another area and saw some more deer but again no bucks. I wanted to keep pushing into another area, but asked him what he wanted to do. He said, "let's head back to camp and have breakfast with Grandpa". I told him "you know, you can't kill a deer sitting in camp" and then quickly reminded myself that this was HIS hunt and relented and headed back.

Had a great breakfast with Grandpa and started playing a card game at the trailer table, when my boy looks out the trailer window and says "Dad! There's a deer!" It was a doe, but I told him to keep an eye on it as there may be more deer with it. Not 2 minutes later, we see another deer pop out and it was a decent two point. We scramble to grab the muzzleloader and get out of the trailer with rangefinder and binos, etc. We sneak to a spot he can get a good shot and he kills his very first buck at 75 yards!!

I guess you can kill a buck sitting in camp and I guess Dad's way is not always the right way to get it done!!!!

I LOVE hunting with my kids - much better than any of my own hunts. Just let him enjoy it and do it his way. Best of luck!

 

[elkhunterUT]

A pic of my son’s “trailer buck” last year:

 

[Theringworm]

I have 2 boys and 2 girls. They all love to hunt and be outside. Biggest advice I can give you is at the end of the day, let him make decisions. It’s his hunt. He may want to shoot something you wouldn’t. I am sure you have taught him how to judge and age deer, etc. But in the heat of the moment he might throw that out the window. Talk to him, coach him, but don’t be a dictator. Talk things out and let him participate. I am guilty of trying to live my life through my kids, sports, hunting etc. Don’t do it. The memories are worth a life time. This will be something he never forgets. Be supportive, give advice, but let him call the shot!

 

[BATTLEBORN]

Awesome advice guys, I am aware that I can be demanding (hence part of the reason for the thread). I am more excited for this hunt and to have him learn than I have been for any of mine. With that said, I also believe in proper preparation will more likely lead to success, which in turn will lead to him enjoying the experience more. We will be in a target rich until and given the time we have I fully expect us to experience many stocks. He can even shoot a doe if he desires.

One of my goals if/when he gets to pull the trigger is to make sure he is in a comfortable shooting position within about 250 yards. If stocks are blown getting to that spot, well lesson learned.

Thanks again

 

[BluMtn]

I think you might be wound a little tight. The object is to have fun and enjoy the outdoors. If you make it all about antlers you take the fun out of it because if he doesn't get the "Big One" all he see's is disappointment in your face. Take him out enjoy the day and have a causal hunt and if HE decides to shoot something then cheer him on and be thankful for the day.

 

[BATTLEBORN]

I think you might be wound a little tight. The object is to have fun and enjoy the outdoors. If you make it all about antlers you take the fun out of it because if he doesn't get the "Big One" all he see's is disappointment in your face. Take him out enjoy the day and have a causal hunt and if HE decides to shoot something then cheer him on and be thankful for the day.

Completely agree, I’m not sure where in my previous post you thought I was concerned about antler size. I do want him to harvest but I’m certainly not concerned if he kills a “big” deer.

 

[AZ_Hunter_2000]

MattB is 100% spot-on: this is your son's hunt. You also need to use your son's definition of "success" and not your's.

If there was more time before his hunt, I would have strongly recommended that you volunteer for multiple youth hunts. It gives you great insight on productive parental involvement and destructive parental involvement. If it was my choice while volunteering, the parents would stay in camp while the kids and helpers went out to hunt. In general the kids would have a much more enjoyable hunt. Sucks seeing a kid walk on egg shells with their overbearing parent there.

If you are unable to reign in your full throttle drive, you may want to consider staying in camp while a trusted individuals takes your son out. Yes that can suck, but this is not about you; it is about your son. Another option is for you to be a silent observer (in the field) while the trusted companion helps your son.

Lastly, let your hair down and have fun. You will never get another shot at a first big game hunt with your son.

 

[BluMtn]

You didn't say it, but I have been around parents who helicopter their kids during hunting season. Not saying you are one of them, just felt like it by your original post. No offense meant.

 

[AZ_Hunter_2000]

Completely agree, I’m not sure where in my previous post you thought I was concerned about antler size. I do want him to harvest but I’m certainly not concerned if he kills a “big” deer.

While volunteering on youth hunts...
One guy who specifically said to have his kid the smallest legal buck he could. Dad knew he was an overbearing SOB so wouldn't go out in the field. This way the kid enjoyed himself and had something to look forward to (bigger deer)

But I have seen multiple dads insist their kid gets a B&C buck the first time. I hate helping those SOBs.

 

[dlee56]

Don't be afraid to take a day off and chill/recoup, remember it's his hunt not yours.
Not every moment has to be a teaching moment, don't ruin the experience by teaching/correcting him too much and just enjoy it.

 

[jdinville3]

I'd guess he has hunted with you a fair amount and even if he hasn't let him have control. What I mean is give him two options that you know could make him successful on where to go or setting up. Then let him decide from there, it's worked great for me to this point. I'm like @cjdewese above, I had to figure a lot out on my own.

I also think you will find it to be a lot of fun letting him make the decisions. It's scary because you want them to succeed and enjoy it, but even if it isn't successful there will be something to reminisce about or laugh about.

Bottom line have fun, make it fun for him and you will have him hunting with you for the rest of your days!

 

[Binz17]

I coach my 12yo son for baseball...I am way more easy going when I take him hunting. I force myself to take it easy, and let it happen at his pace. The biggest challenges are keeping him awake and comfortable. Lots of snacks and hand warmers. Cold and hungry kids are not fun. When he finally gets an opportunty, he may blow it, you gotta be ready for that and keep your cool. If he connects...you just won the super bowl.