Son's first big game tag, Advice for a demanding father.

S-3 ranch

WKR
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Keep him as involved in the hunt as possible. Give him a or b options throughout the hunt and let him pick one and then do it. If its successful then awesome. If it doesn't work take the time to explain to him why. You are going to have fun with your son, not to live vicariously through him and demand excellence.
Yeah, I been a pronghorn guide since 1993 , and it’s hard not to be bossy some times, go scout, ask his opinion a lot, from what kinds food to take , to what’s the best approach to point XYZ & camp, have fun and relax
 
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Sounds like maybe you should let his mom take him.

Seriously though, concentrate on having fun. Ask him if he is enjoying it and for suggestions on what to do. Let him have some say in what you do, if reasonable. It's his hunt.
 
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And as far as “advice” goes, dry fire dry fire dry fire. Every single child of mine from their first hunt to every one thereafter all know, no bullets in the gun until a target is acquired and they have “dry fired” at least twice. After that, they are clear to chamber a round if ready/comfortable. My kids have shot a total of 8 deer. Not a single child has missed or had a non-lethal hit yet. Oh I know they will eventually, but it takes away the immediate surprise of what that trigger pull will feel or sound like,
 
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Be sure to palm some milk duds near elk scat and eat em in front of him. "Mmmmmm...that's fresh scat, maybe 18-24 hours old."

a-box-of-spilled-milk-duds-photographed-on-a-white-background-2D6114E.jpg
Now that’s how you create laughs, a good time and the desire for another hunt with Dad.
 
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My son drew his first big game tag this year ( Mule Deer, Area 6 Nevada) he is 14yo. I have coached him sports most of his life and can be very demanding of him. We have been preparing physically (Me mostly as he is in in great shape), shooting and getting comfortable behind the .243 he will be using, looking at field photos of deer and talking about shot placement, and making sure all gear and vehicles are ready to roll. I'm a seasoned hunter and know the area very well but this is the first time taking my own son on a big game hunt. I want him to be successful and have FUN.

My Question and reason for this thread.

What other preparations can I be doing to with him to hopefully have a successful outcome? As most of us know things can get contentious between dad and son. Is there something specific that you did with your kids that made the experience a good one?

Thanks for the advice.

What can you do? Back off and let him decide how his hunt rolls out...
 
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I’ve taken my boys out for at least one “boys weekend” each hunting season since they were each 2. Everyone above who said “snacks, breaks, and warm” have it pretty well covered.

An story to illustrate the difference between my expectations and theirs- kids were about 5 and 7, youngest hadn’t been feeling good, but said he was better and wanted to go- loaded up the camper and headed out, in the morning we walked about .25 miles and just got sat down when they were cold and miserable so we went back to camp- they proceeded to play outside all day and didn’t complain about being cold. That evening we went for a short walk and were sitting above a trail waiting for deer- without warning the youngest puked all over himself and his stuffed animal. I was super frustrated and decided to pack up the camper and drive home that night, while we were walking out to the truck my oldest said that this had been one of the best trips ever. My opinion was the complete opposite, but it really stuck with me that what they want out of a trip and what I want aren’t necessarily the same.
 

Mojave

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The same is true when hunting with senior citizens in bad health. It is not super important that they go on a hunt you have 10 points on.

It is important you get them out on hunts, don't hate them or yourself by bringing them on a BOL hunt.

If your kids draw a BOL tag, just try and have fun. Don't get caught up in the BOL tag.

A friend of mine is divorced because his wife lost and wounded a desert bighorn sheep. He absolutely lost his shit. She wouldn't practice because she was afraid of his 7mm Mag and he wouldn't buy her another rifle. Your kids could have the same experience.

Older kids that are mature can possibly be brought on a BOL hunt if they have some hunting experience.

Goal is to keep it fun.

I only have daughters, so the little ones bring their toys and play in the truck with the wife. But I don't drag the group on BOL hunts.
 
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My Question and reason for this thread.

What other preparations can I be doing to with him to hopefully have a successful outcome? As most of us know things can get contentious between dad and son.


Do you already have a bad relationship with him?
 
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What other preparations can I be doing to with him to hopefully have a successful outcome? As most of us know things can get contentious between dad and son.


I think it would start by defining a successful outcome.

I came from a non-hunting family, so maybe my views are different, but by12 I was out hunting deer on my own. I wasn't killing them, but I was damn sure trying.



Point being, you don't need to kill something to kindle the fire to hunt. Infact, I sometimes think it's the opposite.
 
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Point being, you don't need to kill something to kindle the fire to hunt. Infact, I sometimes think it's the opposite.


Exactly. When I was between 8 and 16 years old, while hunting big game in Alaska at that age, I could've of cared less if I killed anything or not. I was just happy to be hunting big game.
 
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Exactly. When I was between 8 and 16 years old, while hunting big game in Alaska at that age, I could've of cared less if I killed anything or not. I was just happy to be hunting big game.

Oh, I was opposite. All I wanted to do was kill a deer, well mostly.

But the failure kept me coming back.


We have special youth seasons now, I think it makes it too easy. Almost participation trophies. If you don't put in the work, you don't appreciate the reward.
 

gabenzeke

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Don't be demanding. His tag, his hunt. Make it fun. Teach him about the animals and sign you see. If he wants to stop and rest do it. I'd also suggest not being demanding in sports. Nothing kills the love of a sport more than pressure from well meaning parents. I see it in hockey every day.

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My son drew his first big game tag this year ( Mule Deer, Area 6 Nevada) he is 14yo. I have coached him sports most of his life and can be very demanding of him. We have been preparing physically (Me mostly as he is in in great shape), shooting and getting comfortable behind the .243 he will be using, looking at field photos of deer and talking about shot placement, and making sure all gear and vehicles are ready to roll. I'm a seasoned hunter and know the area very well but this is the first time taking my own son on a big game hunt. I want him to be successful and have FUN.

My Question and reason for this thread.

What other preparations can I be doing to with him to hopefully have a successful outcome? As most of us know things can get contentious between dad and son. Is there something specific that you did with your kids that made the experience a good one?

Thanks for the advice.
Step one. Ask your son what he wants to get out of the hunt. Step two. Leave your own desires at home.

When my son was about 8, I took him bowhunting (he was already an accomplished shot with a bow) and insisted we stay until dark or arrive before daylight even when he didn't want to. One day, I chewed him out for shooting at a squirrel right at prime time because I knew he would miss and the squirrel would bark at us for an hour (it did). In other words, I was too focused on him GETTING something and not paying attention to what HE wanted from the experience. I don't have many regrets raising kids, but that's a big one for me. I turned him off hunting for a good 10 years. Eventually he came back around but I missed 10 years of hunting with him because of how I behaved.

I later coached youth sports for 20 years. Never saw a kid ruin their day but I saw a lot of parents ruin their kid's day.
 
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When my kids were little (like age 4-8) I coached their youth soccer teams. I would start every season off by pulling all the parent together and telling them that none of their kids would go pro if they didn't want to come back to play again next season. My job was to make it fun, the skills come with time. The goal of a first hunt is the same have fun. He will have a lifetime of making hunting memories if after this hunt he wants to go again. He'll probably make too much noise and ask a thousand questions. Just remember all the mistakes you made and lessons you learned to become the hunter you are today. He hasn't made any of those yet. Keep him warm, pack lots of snacks, takes naps and make it fun! If he gets something your smiles will be a mile wide and if he doesn't, come home with great memories and the desire to do it again.
 
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I came very close to ruining my son ever wanting to go hunting. We would have steak for dinner and he would just pick at it and not eat. I would say something like “ how am I supposed to take you hunting if you won’t eat steak?” Or, “we aren’t chicken nuggets every meal” He started to think that’s all we did was eat steak and it wasn’t his favorite at the time. I asked him a little while later if he wanted to put in for a hunt and he said said no. I was devastated and I voiced this to my lovely wife. She explained to me what his feelings where so I had to rethink what I was saying. I talked to him and apologized and he decided he wanted to try. He drew out a youth muzzleloader antelope hunt this last August. I took him shooting and patiently coached him, took pictures of his targets for him, dug bullets out of the hill, bought new Kuiu youth clothes for him. Sat down and made a food menu with him that he would like. He was so excited and so was I. When we went I made it all about him. I asked him where he thought we should go in the morning or evening and that’s where we would go. We would spot an antelope and I would ask him what he wanted to do. I would make a plan for the stock and we would take off. If he made a mistake I would just smile and patiently explain to him what to do next time. I would quiz him on where he thought the atv or truck was even if I could see it 70 yds away. Lol I waould ask him if he was tired and needed a rest or if he wanted to go back to camp. We sat at camp one afternoon and just played some flip the bottle game for two hours. We got up late one morning and left well after sun up and it ended up being the best day of hunting we had. He had a blast and so did I! On the way home he was already talking about the next time. Sorry this is long winded but I felt it was important. I also thank my incredible wife for lovingly pointing out my mistake.
 

Travis Bertrand

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good responses, I would echo what others said and realize that this is all new for him and there are lots of things that you learn after hunting a while. how to walk, where to look, what an animal looks like or how you are trying to describe where to look. also remember him having a good time his first time will set the tone on if he will continue to hunt. goof off. have fun, work hard, have more fun, and make it a treasured memory.
 

Rich M

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This is bugging me - Why’d you wait so long to get him hunting?

Nothing negative. He misses, thats okay youll get the next one. Spooks game, wow they sure can hear us! Is tired, yeah we been hiking all morning, lets take a break. Etc.

Bring some surprise snacks like his fav candy bar or drink or whatever. Things get rough or he gets down, time for that sugary goodness or whatever.

Have fun and good luck to you both.
 

MattB

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I'd guess he has hunted with you a fair amount and even if he hasn't let him have control. What I mean is give him two options that you know could make him successful on where to go or setting up. Then let him decide from there, it's worked great for me to this point. I'm like @cjdewese above, I had to figure a lot out on my own.

I also think you will find it to be a lot of fun letting him make the decisions. It's scary because you want them to succeed and enjoy it, but even if it isn't successful there will be something to reminisce about or laugh about.

Bottom line have fun, make it fun for him and you will have him hunting with you for the rest of your days!
I typed some of what you posted and then deleted it, but since you went there…

A couple of years ago I was on a pig/turkey hunt with a buddy and his family - mom, sister, and brother in law. We found a group of pigs, it was his sister’s turn to shoot, and she wanted some help. My buddy asked me to go with his sister and make it happen. And that we did.

In retrospect his request seemed a little weird, as he had previously won the prestigious “Guide of the Year” award from the Wild SHeep Foundation. After thinking about it, I figured he was guide enough to know his sister wouldn’t listen to him so he asked me to help. 😀

Might not be a bad idea to have someone else in camp to help with the final final to change the dynamic.
 
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