Son's first big game tag, Advice for a demanding father.

[cjdewese]

Awesome advice guys, I am aware that I can be demanding (hence part of the reason for the thread). I am more excited for this hunt and to have him learn than I have been for any of mine. With that said, I also believe in proper preparation will more likely lead to success, which in turn will lead to him enjoying the experience more. We will be in a target rich until and given the time we have I fully expect us to experience many stocks. He can even shoot a doe if he desires.

One of my goals if/when he gets to pull the trigger is to make sure he is in a comfortable shooting position within about 250 yards. If stocks are blown getting to that spot, well lesson learned.

Thanks again

Sounds like you have done all the preparation needed to have him be successful if he sees something he wants to shoot. Have fun and do a write up after so we can hear more about how it went.

 

[KP20129]

Your post speaks to me on the sports end of it as I coached both my kids and was harder on them than any of the other kids. Looking back on it I can justify to myself that they ended up better ballplayers due to this extra push but, it's so obvious that they didn't enjoy themselves as much as they could have which I regret.

Even though I have the same passion for hunting as I do sports the hard-core side of me doesn't come out with hunting and fishing and i am way more relaxed on those adventures. Guess which activity my kids would rather do with me? Easy answer is hunting and fishing.

If your goal is for your son to be successful and get a good animal on this hunt then keep pushing. If your goal is to have a lifetime of hunts with your son take the advice above and make it about him and calm down some.

Good luck as it's not easy. I failed to some extent on the sports side.

 

[MarlinMark]

Big guy - You are poised to have a great time, or get in your own way and not have as much fun as you could. Don't compare other parts of life (sports, school etc) to hunting. Let hunting be just hunting.

 

[Customweld]

This is coming from a dad of 3 daughters. All of them hunted up until they were about 16. The middle daughter was the only one that kept on after that. There is such a thing as being too driven and too demanding. I pushed my girls way too hard in the field, trying to project on to them what I wanted and expected them to kill. Took all of the fun out of it for them.

 

[BATTLEBORN]

Your post speaks to me on the sports end of it as I coached both my kids and was harder on them than any of the other kids. Looking back on it I can justify to myself that they ended up better ballplayers due to this extra push but, it's so obvious that they didn't enjoy themselves as much as they could have which I regret.

Even though I have the same passion for hunting as I do sports the hard-core side of me doesn't come out with hunting and fishing and i am way more relaxed on those adventures. Guess which activity my kids would rather do with me? Easy answer is hunting and fishing.

If your goal is for your son to be successful and get a good animal on this hunt then keep pushing. If your goal is to have a lifetime of hunts with your son take the advice above and make it about him and calm down some.

Good luck as it's not easy. I failed to some extent on the sports side.

You and I likely very similar. There was never a kid on our teams that I was harder on than him. He still plays, which I’m grateful for. Great advice, I appreciate it.

 

[BATTLEBORN]

This is coming from a dad of 3 daughters. All of them hunted up until they were about 16. The middle daughter was the only one that kept on after that. There is such a thing as being too driven and too demanding. I pushed my girls way too hard in the field, trying to project on to them what I wanted and expected them to kill. Took all of the fun out of it for them.

Thanks for the perspective, that is the last thing I want to do.

 

[Newtexican]

Your post speaks to me on the sports end of it as I coached both my kids and was harder on them than any of the other kids. Looking back on it I can justify to myself that they ended up better ballplayers due to this extra push but, it's so obvious that they didn't enjoy themselves as much as they could have which I regret.

Even though I have the same passion for hunting as I do sports the hard-core side of me doesn't come out with hunting and fishing and i am way more relaxed on those adventures. Guess which activity my kids would rather do with me? Easy answer is hunting and fishing.

If your goal is for your son to be successful and get a good animal on this hunt then keep pushing. If your goal is to have a lifetime of hunts with your son take the advice above and make it about him and calm down some.

Good luck as it's not easy. I failed to some extent on the sports side.

I did the same exact thing as you with my daughter. Rode her until it wasn’t fun anymore. Easily had the chance to play college softball but was done with it. Now that she’s 22 she realizes she was talented and maybe should’ve given it a go. Lesson learned it’s about them and their enjoyment.

 

[Mojave]

This

I have raised two kids. Through a divorce and each of us remarried. I have a doctor and a successful finance officer.

I was a hard-driving outdoorsperson as a kid and wanted to relive my glory days through them. One winter day after about 100 outings, my boys were around age 5 (twins) and we ended up ice fishing at a buddy's pond using meal worms to catch bluegill. Tiny bluegill. My sons had a blast because after about 10 seconds of dropping the hook into the ice hole there was a fish yanking on the end of the pole.

I wanted them to catch 10-pound bass and 30-pound catfish but they wanted action. They wanted time to walk on the ice to hear the ice crack and scream. To toss a stick and see it slide. They played. And fished.

I switched modes that our time in the outdoor was to put a smile on their faces rather than be the best at some metric I put in front of them to meet or exceed.

They love the outdoors but in ways I never did. I am okay with that.

This, you might wreck their drive if you over do it.

 

[Flyjunky]

I have nothing to add that hasn’t already been said, all good advice! Go have fun and I wish you success.

 

[Wags]

Right there with you... I've coached both my sons in football the last 7 years. I'm harder on them at practice than anyone else. However, I take the time to explain to them "why." When we're in the gym, on hikes, driving to/from ranges or hunts I also do my best to explain life as a man and how the things / lessons learned from sports , hunting and fishing apply to life. I wish my dad had done the same...

I say, relax, I genuinely feel this trip will be way more anxiety filled for you than him. It was for me. Remember what it was like for you at that age and be the mentor he needs. Be reassuring and explain all the things we take for granted as knowledge... wind direction, stalking techniques atc... if he misses, hug him and tell him it's OK. That in itself goes a long way for keeping them motivated.

Also, I bought a BOG tripod for him, standard not the death grip, it's been vital in his accuracy hunting as prone isn't always an option in our area. He's taken 7 animals in 2 years off of it. If you dont have one that's something to consider.

Also, don't be afraid to show emotion once he does land that shot. It's a big moment and opportunity for him to see that pride.

Pics from this year... punched 4 tags and got his first elk in his second year hunting.

QB

 

[Where's Bruce?]

Don't be dad...be the perfect guide. Pay attention to the hunter's health, mental attitude and keep things light and exciting. When he finds sign help interpret them. When he looks weary suggest a little break. Let him determine how hard he wants to hunt...if he wants to sit by water or something, just do it. Don't push him, support him. Hunting is about the pursuit, putting the pieces of the puzzle together and figuring it out. It is not about the kill. Take tons of photos. With the right partner no hunt is bad. During one archery elk hunt the midday heat was so bad it was pointless to be outside (AZ) so I took my guide to a movie and lunch. A/C, a couple cold beers and a steak and then back at it at 3:30pm. No other client ever did that before but he knew we weren't gonna see anything in the extreme heat of the day. It was fine. Always be flexible. Pushing too hard for too long can go really bad, really quick. You want him happy for every minute. If a stalk goes bad just congratulate him getting so close. It happens to everyone. It's fun. The work starts after the kill. Don't be a coach, be a guide.

 

[Marmots]

When I was a kid my dad taught me a few of his hobbies that ended up becoming a major part of my life as an adult. Now we have a lot of stuff in common and I have a great relationship with the guy.

What a lot of people don't realize is that kids generally just want to feel respected and included, the same as any adult. A kid will learn to love any activity where they get treated like "one of the guys". This means partially adjusting to their pace and accepting that some of the activity will happen on their terms. It may or may not affect the odds of tagging out this year, but it will probably increase the odds of you two still hunting together in 15 years.

 

[MtnW]

It’s suppose to be fun first and foremost.
Make sure he has good gear to keep him warm. Warm hat , gloves/mittens, socks, boots, jacket and pants. Make it a fun night well before the trip and have him try on all the gear and make sure everything fits. Bring a thermos of hot chocolate and his favorite snacks and candy. Don’t push him, its his hunt , let him dictate the pace. View and talk about the raptors and other non targeted wildlife. Make it a adventure for him, but always make sure he is warm and comfortable.

 

[Ariettabob]

I’ve read most of the replies and every one of your replies. I mean this with all due respect. You care about a kill, any kill, probably more than he does. He has a lifetime of hunting ahead of him. This won’t be his last tag…unless you push the successful kill side too hard and turn him off. I suspect you don’t believe that can happen but I assure you it’s possible. I get the sense your son is intelligent and in tune with your feelings. He’ll sense your disappointment at anything other than a kill or God forbid an easy miss. Do not let that happen. Have fun, laugh at yourself, play some cards in camp at night rather than rehashing the hunt and planning tomorrow’s strategy. Lighten up and understand there’s no scoreboard in the woods.

 

[zacattack]

My kids are still too young to hunt but here’s what I’ve learned so far as a dad.

1. Have zero expectations, whatever happens happens
2. Let it go.
3. Time is short and who knows how long we have together. Just live in the moment with them.

 

[Michael54]

Keep him as involved in the hunt as possible. Give him a or b options throughout the hunt and let him pick one and then do it. If its successful then awesome. If it doesn't work take the time to explain to him why. You are going to have fun with your son, not to live vicariously through him and demand excellence.

 

[Where's Bruce?]

Be sure to palm some milk duds near elk scat and eat em in front of him. "Mmmmmm...that's fresh scat, maybe 18-24 hours old."

 

[RS_Non-Res]

Talk about unity. There's not a post in this thread that isn't right on. Could give a thumbs up to every one.

 

[Wags]

Be sure to palm some milk duds near elk scat and eat em in front of him. "Mmmmmm...that's fresh scat, maybe 18-24 hours old."

I'm totally stealing this idea, well played.

 

[Where's Bruce?]

Talk about unity. There's not a post in this thread that isn't right on. Could give a thumbs up to every one.

Being a conservative...I prefer my thumbs up in the air.