Politics in high school sports

[Granular]

Same thing can be said about 99% of things discussed here "waste of time and resources...zero sum game". The amount of parents that actual put their kids into activities of any kind and think "we are going to be rich when little Timmy goes pro" is probably reflected as a percent 0%. It isn't about that.

Also, there are Scouts, FFA, Theatre, etc. Different kids like different things. I agree if you are forcing your kid to stick with high end competitive athletics but they aren't into it find something else. If they are honestly into it what's the big deal? I can tell you the lessons I learned from playing team sports eventually at high levels I wouldn't replace to go get extra studying time and research private colleges. I can tell you 100% I know more guys that wish they would have kept playing sports than regretted staying in them.

This is not directly solely at you but based on the OPs question due to his kid having competition at practice/tryout I can't believe how many people are basically suggesting since he might have competition just quit and focus on an individual sport.

I was referring to college scholarships not pro sports. From what I have observed, a significant percentage of parents put their kids through a grind from a very young age in an attempt to earn an athletic scholarship.

My point was, if you figure in all the club ball that is required these days from the high school coaches, starting at a very young age, the cost (and not to mention the strain on families) is likely similar to the value of an athletic scholarship. Then in college, if you figure all the time spent in practices and traveling to games it is a minimum wage job (not to mention the wear and tear on your body). For many (but not all) college athletes it also precludes them from having enough time for a difficult major.

I am referring to the average to good athletic kid, not the few that are talented enough to receive large NIL money or eventually play professionally.

Was just simply giving my opinion on what I have observed and offering a potential different path.

Of course there are other perceived benefits to playing on the local school teams and to each their own. Sports are clearly a big deal in our society and seem to be gaining momentum all the time.

 

[JBrown1]

Interesting thread. After reading all 6 pages, I can say there are a lot of delusional parents in out there..... (Not the OP)

To the OP, I think that you failed to put this into perspective: it was an inter squad scrimmage.

Maybe the coach wanted to see how the freshman looked against HS competition, and didn’t feel like he needed to see your son complete as he had watched him all last year? Maybe he wanted to show the freshman he big of a step-up HS ball is, to motivate him to improve? Who knows, but my guess is your son will win out in the end if he truly is more talented.

Your son sounds like a great kid.

 

[Jgill19]

Yeah, I think this is a bit of an over reaction (not judging). Three practices in, he probably wants to see how this other kid handles some higher level comp. I didnt read all 6 pages so maybe this has been hit already but, one kid working hard certainly doesn't mean that another is not. It's good to have a kid learn to compete, and at times lose out (doesn't mean he has to like it), regardless of how hard he works. This can be a strong growing point for your son, and is a great teaching opportunity. I would right down all the things you listed about him, and then ask him to do some introspective work and list the three things he needs to improve on (you don't need to make this list unless he can't come up with any). Then sit down and go over both lists with him. Help him build a plan to address his list, and make absolute certain he doesn't forget the list you made!! He needs to know your in his corner and believe in him. Name or no name, the cream always rises. If you play well enough, they can't sit you. If you show up, work hard, and play well when you get your chance... They can't and won't sit you!! Sounds like your boy has a lot going for him and Id guess things will work out just fine.

 

[Zak406]

I was fortunate enough to play a high level of hockey (no I was not pro) but I made it a lot farther than most. I will say this sports for kids are a great way to learn about what adult life looks like, how to get along with others, and how to interact in a team athmosphere. Outside of that parents take the sports to serious and in most cases that I’ve seen more serious than the players. I don’t have kids but have buddies who do and what is amazing to hear is how much parents spend on mediocre talent kids thinking they will go pro. I have heard of people who may have really screwed up their financial situation due to this.

When it comes to hockey 2/3s of the coaches who coach amateur hockey have zero business being there. They are often parents who want to be involved with their kids which is great however most times they have zero idea about the game. Since none of them are paid or paid poorly you get shit quality. While hockey was great for me I would have probably been better off forgoing junior hockey and focusing on my education a bit more. I wouldn’t take any of it back but at the same time I can’t deny I may be further in my career if I would have focused more on education over sports. I didn’t go to college until I was 21. I was a 21 year old freshman.

Politics are two fold though. In most cases a players parent think the player is better than he is. However when you have uneducated and under paid or non paid coaching staffs it’s easy to see why favorites could be played. The only advice I can give is have your kid become good enough he can’t be told no to playing. That was my ticket but I will also tell you this when you are playing a sport were you need to perform to keep your job it’s not as much fun as sports were when you were younger. That type of stress takes a real toll on an athlete

 

[Trial153]

My son is 11 playing in section A on the U14 team in soccer for a club. Club play was pretty much his only option at this point to put him a competitive league.
He was averaging over three goals a game on the local / schools travel soccer team in U12 last year as 10 year old… playing half the match as striker and the other half as center back. Per the league rules he isn’t old enough to play modified yet.

I get the sentiment that clubs rob talent from HS sports however good clubs in A division will see more play in year then in two years of HS.

 

[Glory]

Also a super smart kid, straight A’s, school tested his IQ and it is pretty high and they have him in a program to challenge him academically.

Any advice?

Focus on schoolwork, hunting, and fishing. Those are things that he will do for the rest of his life.

Seriously, a lot of coaches are idiots. Teaching him to read sign and bail to move onto bigger and better things will be one of the most important things he will learn in life. The whole "quit now and you'll be a quitter your whole life" is one of the most manipulative things coaches tell kids.

 

[PredatorSlayer]

The whole "quit now and you'll be a quitter your whole life" is one of the most manipulative things coaches tell kids.

Honestly I worry about this…as a father I feel like there is value in battling through adversity. I also feel like baseball is a huge time commitment, so if he decides he wants to move on and focus on school and golf and hunting/fishing, its hard for me not to support him in that. I guess I have this internal battle with which direction to encourage him. May be too early to know…

 

[sconnieVLP]

A lot of people are pushing for individual sports and they certainly have value, but being on a team sport is a completely different animal. Working through tough practices, riding the busses, mourning tough losses, and celebrating big win is a huge part of team sports, and valuable in my opinion.

The team aspect was big for me. I think I learned more about leadership playing football through middle school and high school than I did through four years of ROTC - a program designed around teaching you to lead.

I also swam through middle and high school, and while that gives you an idea of how much you can endure individually, playing a sport like football where you can’t play the game by yourself and have to rely and inspire others is a lesson I found to be valuable when the shoulder pads and helmets were traded for plate carriers and NODs.

 

[svivian]

Honestly I worry about this…as a father I feel like there is value in battling through adversity. I also feel like baseball is a huge time commitment, so if he decides he wants to move on and focus on school and golf and hunting/fishing, its hard for me not to support him in that. I guess I have this internal battle with which direction to encourage him. May be too early to know…

Big difference prioritizing your life and things you enjoy versus leaving something because you didn’t think it was fair or wasn’t going your way.

 

[PredatorSlayer]

Big difference prioritizing your life and things you enjoy versus leaving something because you didn’t think it was fair or wasn’t going your way.

Great point…

 

[Szwampdonkey]

Geez man, it’s just high school sports. It’s really not important in the grand scheme of life. I know i know, people nowadays blow sports way out of proportion starting in elementary school but the reality is it’s just not important it’s supposed to be fun for kids. Sounds like you’ve raised a good kid. Maybe just take a step back and appreciate that then just be supportive. Country would be way better off if parents would just do that for their kids.

 

[jdinville3]

Oh what an opportunity! Lots of stellar advice given throughout this. Talking to a coach is like trying to convince your car salesman you deserve a better deal most of the time. Some great advice above is being a part of the success. This might be some of the best advice from ever. Parents are just as bad as those unfavorable coaches most the time. If you put in the work with your kid and doesn't change anything, well you just spent some incredibly important time with your kid. Not only did you teach them about hard work, but great bonding and memories made.

I've personally been on the OPs side when I was a kid, but as a parent you have to flip the script. You can say your kid is better, favoritism, or whatever, but can't change a coaches mind, but you can control your attitude towards it! If your kid silently puts in the work and nothing changes, well sadly your kid just learned a life lesson way too young. Keep your head and attitude up OP and go enjoy some time with your son!

 

[Pramo]

Sports are great to learn how to deal with adversity in a make believe situation. I was a DI athlete and my kids both play sports in college one D3 and one committed scholarship DI but still in high school. College sports is not for everyone and getting even a little scholarship is very hard to do.

I lost a big wrestling match in high school and I was besides myself upset my uncle came over and said “you see all this it’s all bull$it anyways”. That phrase stuck with me and I say it after every loss the kids have and we all just laugh and move on with life.

Our rules for the kids if they joined a team they went to every practice and game, they made a commitment and must honor it. Both were multi sport athletes and we avoided the crazy super secret squirrel clinics and workouts and opted to camp/hike/fish/ski/snowboard or hunt. If a club team was to demanding it could pound sand we were out at the end of season.

If your good at sports your good at sports. But there are different levels of talent I played lacrosse against a few guys on the US team there is nothing I could ever do in my life to be at their level they wake up better and more athletic than me. I found most of the parents can grasp this fact of top tier athletes are just different. I love my kids for what they are and tell them to embrace their natural gifts.

Politics in sports and the corporate world are about the same. You have bad coaches/bosses and but you had to learn how to navigate and just gut it out. I never talked to a kids coach I knew it was the kids problem not mine to fight.