I keep a file of some of my kids' funny things they've said. Below are a few...
Ryan (just before his 8th birthday) and Morgan (5): The kids were coloring at the kitchen table. Morgan had drawn a stick figure of a person. She noticed a small spot she’d colored that went just below where the person’s legs met. She started naming body parts and said, “This is his arm, this is his eyeball, this is his peepee. Everyone has a peepee.” Ryan said, “No they don’t.” Morgan said, “Yes, boys have a peepee, girls have a peepee- they’re different on boys and girls, but the name is the same. It’s all the same for boys and girls.” Ryan firmly said, “NO!” Morgan repeated herself. I decided I needed to step in and have a “teaching moment” and clarify what boy’s and girl’s body parts are correctly called. “Morgan, Ryan is right- they’re not the same. Girls have a” Ryan interrupted with “Dad, I know this. Virginia. Is that right? Virginia, yeah, I think that’s it.”
Ryan (6): we were headed for the Canadian border and for Ryan’s second Father/Son family fishing trip. Just before we got to the border crossing I mentioned to Ryan, “Be sure to not act silly. Just answer their questions and don’t goof off.” He responded with, “So if he asks me, ‘what’s 2 + 2’, I shouldn’t say ‘llama’”.
Ryan (8): As we pulled up to Ryan’s school in the morning to drop him off he looked ahead and noticed a Virginia license plate on the car in front of us. He then said, “Virginia? Whoa, I wonder what time they have to get up in the morning to get to school on time!” His next question was “Where’s Virginia?”
Ryan and I were in the ground blind by our food plot. A small forkhorn buck came out in front of us and Ryan clearly wanted me to shoot it. I got ready and was just about to shoot, and a nice 8 point buck came out in front of us. Ryan was almost coming out of his skin with excitement- he was twitching like a birddog on point! I waited for a good, easy shot and eventually the deer wandered away, never offer a shot. Ryan was ecstatic! He high fived me, shook my hand, gave me knuckles and said over and over how excited he was. Fast forward two hours and it was time for Ryan’s bath. I sent him upstairs to get in the tub. Five minutes later I could still hear him running around and not in the tub, so I went up there. I walked into the bathroom just as Ryan was about to take off his underwear. I could plainly see a quarter sized wet spot in his underwear and I asked “Did you pee your pants.” He looked down at his underwear, then looked up at me and said “I just... I… I saw that big buck and it just happened! I couldn’t help it!”
Ryan (9) and Morgan (6): I told Ryan that Ross wasn’t going to be able to come fishing with us as he had planned, telling him that Ross is very sick. Ryan asked “Is it cancer?” “No”, I said, “Ross has…”, but Morgan interrupted and said “Dad, was he bit by a bunny?”
Morgan (age 10)- after Morgan telling me the story of how I proposed to my wife (her mom), Morgan looked at me and said, “Mom could have found a lot better guy than you, Dad. But… you’re a pretty good guy though.”
Morgan (age 10)- watching a kids Disney drama-type show a girl was talking to a boy and Morgan said “She’s going to give him the old tomato, I heard it on the commercial for this one.” I scratched my head and wondered what that meant. A minute later, the male character looked at the female character and said “Are you giving me an ultimatum?” Morgan looked at me and said, “See!?!”
Morgan (age 14)- In March I was driving home with Morgan. The ditches were full of dirty snow. I asked Morgan, “What is snirt?” She looked blankly forward for a minute, then I could see the lightbulb go off… she confidently said “A sneeze-fart”.
nailed it.
