Best Advice for New Dad

Congrats,

Pretty amazing to make a new human from scratch.

All your issues that are not baby related will also come to the surface, so be easy on each other. Sleep deprivation and shaking up the snow globe that has been your smooth sailing life up until now can be interesting. Some moms snap back to normal quick and some are not quite themselves a year later. Some dads deal with change better than others. As grandparents we get a good chuckle out of some “serious issues” of our kids with a new born that are just part of maturing as parents. Nothing you will experience hasn’t been experienced by millions of people before you, and I mean nothing.

Don’t get hung up on fads or take developmental milestones as written in stone and don’t expect every kid to be exactly the same down to the week.

Don’t hesitate to ask relatives for help. It can seem weird to a new parent to even bring it up, but small breaks to have time to yourselves or take a nap can be nice. We tell new parents in the family they can call us anytime day or night, and sometimes a cranky baby is from something they just haven’t thought about, like when teeth start coming in.

Parents come up with all kinds of funny rules visitors have to follow for their first kid, and by the second most of those rules go out the window. Have boundaries and do what works, people understand.
 
Love and spend more Time with your wife. I mean full attention when necessary.
 
Congrats! Here's a few things I've learned the hard way.

1. Don't fix separate meals for them once they're able to eat normal food, make them try everything
2. Have them sleep in their own bed if you like ever getting laid or sleeping without a little foot in your face
3. Don't freak out over small stuff with the grandparents when they watch the kids, it's ok to have rules or expectations, just chill a little cause you and you're wife will be overboard at first
4. Be intentional with your activities and time with your wife, best gift you can give your children is staying in love with her and making her feel special
5. Don't push things on your kids too hard with sports and outdoor activities. Yes, you want them to like what you like and do things with you. Take them with you and show them, but just remember they're little people and they'll develop their own interests or things they enjoy.
6. Buy a laser level if you don't have one already for hanging and helping redecorate.
7. Lastly, just don't procrastinate. You're going to be tired, go play catch anyways, put that deal from Ikea together your wife bought even if you think it's dumb.

They're only little once man. It goes fast.
 
Congratulations! Great insights in this thread. We're four months in and enjoying every minute!

Biggest things I would echo are to be proactive and relax. Preparation and routine helps, but at the same time be adaptable and flexible. Don't be neurotic. They soak up everything. Be mindful of your own emotions and how you interact with them and everyone else for that matter. They'll be watching!
 
The dancing fruit videos that newborns like crack me up. Must be preprogrammed in our brains to recognize food shapes.

They all seem to like a different cartoon.

Then the Ms Rachael videos will drive you nuts throughout the first two years. Lol
 
Teach your wife, the grandparents and anyone who may possibly drive them once how to install a car seat. It takes like 5 minutes to learn but otherwise it makes handing off kids a huge pain.

Buy a cordless Dyson to clean up. Feeding kids is like running a wood chipper in your kitchen.

Sign up for every day care waitlist, elementary school, etc now because the waitlists can be years long.
 
Congrats! Here's a few things I've learned the hard way.

1. Don't fix separate meals for them once they're able to eat normal food, make them try everything
2. Have them sleep in their own bed if you like ever getting laid or sleeping without a little foot in your face
3. Don't freak out over small stuff with the grandparents when they watch the kids, it's ok to have rules or expectations, just chill a little cause you and you're wife will be overboard at first
4. Be intentional with your activities and time with your wife, best gift you can give your children is staying in love with her and making her feel special
5. Don't push things on your kids too hard with sports and outdoor activities. Yes, you want them to like what you like and do things with you. Take them with you and show them, but just remember they're little people and they'll develop their own interests or things they enjoy.
6. Buy a laser level if you don't have one already for hanging and helping redecorate.
7. Lastly, just don't procrastinate. You're going to be tired, go play catch anyways, put that deal from Ikea together your wife bought even if you think it's dumb.

They're only little once man. It goes fast.

This question has been asked a few times over the years but this imho is without a doubt the best and most complete answer I’ve seen. Well said.


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Be sure to treat his mother with nothing but respect and kindness every time he is around. You will be his primary example of how to treat the girls/women in his life.
 
[mention]OKHunter84 [/mention]really nailed it

As others have said, save money for the kids now.

Work out and eat well.

Be really intentional about your time with the family and your wife. Pick your hunts and be intentional about that too. If your wife is like mine, she knew who she married. My kid eats a ton of red meat, and I didn’t kill enough deer last fall. My wife wants more venison in the freezer this fall.


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Don't get so focused on the kid that you forget about your wife.
This.

The best advice someone told me or my wife read is something along the lines of, you’re not raising kids you’re raising them to be good adults.
This seems like it’s more true than ever with the current generation that’s turning to adult age.
 
Man, congratulations! I have three kids and the oldest is 15. We are dealing with some teenager issues that involve social media. These are things completely unfamiliar to my wife and me and there will always be issues out of our control. You will have struggles through it all, but it is worth it 10x everytime. There is a lot of great advice in here already. Below are just a few things that I would restate or add to.
1. Build a two way communication relationship from day 1. This seems odd at this age, but the older a kid gets the easier it is for them to find someone other than a parent to talk to. Start now by reading daily to your child and having some one on one time. Listening will be a key component of your relationship down the road.
2. Pray over your child for wisdom, safety, their future spouse, and discernment.
3. Sleep when you have the chance. I stayed up for two straight days after no sleep at the hospital. It’s a great responsibility to be able of of a young one and I couldn’t let myself relax. You will need to sleep and relax to take care of the baby and your wife.
4. Do not let something raise your child or interfere with with family time. There are way too many children being raised by a device. I think a lot of this is discussion with your wife on the goals for your family.

You have a lot to digest. Like someone said before do your best, be present, be intentional, show love and it will all work out.
 
Lots of great advice here. I have 3 kiddos and it really does go by fast. 14,11, and 8. Like others have said, enjoy every moment. Just
Love em and understand it’s ok to be upset with them as they grow and do stupid stuff. Don’t yell at your kids but be firm and teach them the boundaries and right from wrong from the beginning. If you do lose your temper then be sure to apologize quickly and tell them you love them. Something I’ve had to learn the hard way with two crazy emotional girls. Be at all their activities, be silly, be serious, and listen to them. Be excited when they tell you something they are excited about. So much more I could say but you’ll learn as you go and each kid is different. Congrats!
 
On Becoming Babywise

Buy it. Read it, both you and your wife. Follow it, she won’t want to but it’s the best thing for your child.

Your baby is a welcome addition to the family, not the center of the universe. Your relationship with your wife is the center of the universe. Everything in your home flows from this relationship.

Be patient. Be present. Be consistent. When people say they grow up so fast, it’s because they do. And you never get the time back.

Enjoy the adventure.





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Congratulations !

Embrace every day. Some days will be rough and tiresome but the reward is bountiful.

They grow SO FAST.

Be present for your kid. Make sure to put the phone down and show them your love.

As someone else said earlier, make time for your wife.


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Not sure if its advice, more like observations i've had

My daughter is now 10 and holy crap it goes fast. Another 10 years and she's gone.

It really sucks when they're hurt/sick/sad

I always thought it was bs when my parents said that punishing/disciplining me hurt them more than it hurt me. It's not bs. It's very true.

You will learn to love the things they love. I always hated running. My daughter loves it. There is nothing id rather do than watch her run. Her cross country races are in the fall so now my hunting trips get scheduled around them as much as possible. And I don't miss her championship and national races no matter what tag I have.

Others have said it but u and ur wife still need to make time for each other. My wife and I rarely "go out" but we do still make time for just us.

I heard once that, 5 years down the road the only one who's gonna remember all the hours u worked are ur kids. U need to provide for ur family, but they need u to be present as well.

I'm sure I'll think of more
 
Also a new dad here (8months) be sure to spend a few minutes with your wife as the baby is sleeping to just talk and connect. We can easily be distracted with the baby/cleaning/prep/relaxing. Stay connected!
 
Lots of great advice here. One thing I was told as a brand new father was to take a moment if you need it. At some point, it's likely that your child will cry and you won't be able to comfort them for whatever reason. If you find your patience slipping, make sure they are safe in a cradle/bassinette/swing and just step outside. Take a moment to get your mind centered and calm down if you need it. There were a few times I needed to step out, close the door for a few minutes, and then come back when I got my mind right.

Someone already said the best thing you can do is care about them and try to be the best parent you can be. That will make a bigger difference for them than anything else. The fact that you are asking for advice shows you will be great!
 
Work hard to make all their events. Soak up those bed time routines. Tell them stories and sing some songs. Teach them manners, self reliance and resilience. Teach them how to shake a.hand and look someone in the eye. Put them in stressful situations and how to think and overcome them.

Finally, if you have any bad habits, kick them now. If you have health issues, get them fixed. You want to be around to see them grow up and take on the world!!
 
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