Best Advice for New Dad

[Pharmseller]

Would you PM me how you would have done it? Like you my wife and I struggle with organized religion and I worry about raising my kid in a believing household without going to a church.

I grew up reading this:

The Children's Bible book by Anonymous

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[Davyalabama]

1) Pray together with your wife, Go to Him in Thanksgiving for everything, pray over your child, your marriage, your home, over the people you and your wife and child come into contact with, tell the devil in Jesus's name, "This child is a child of God's you cannot have him."

2) Take your wife and child to church, find one together that is large enough to have a good children's ministry, a good selection of small groups for you and your wife, and one that the pastor speaks from the Bible.

3) You've heard it and read it on here, your child will be a sponge, read to him, let him see you read everyday from the Bible and from a leadership book, at least a few minutes everyday. Let him hear you quote scripture over certain events, both good and bad. LET HIM HEAR YOU PRAY AT NIGHT! This isn't just his little kids prayers, let him "catch you" saying some prayers. Let him hear you sing worship songs in the car, I promise this will be a lot better than you realize. Sometimes these songs will be adult Christian songs, sometimes sing with children's songs. Put them on Youtube at the house and dance and sing to them.

4) Let your child see you treat his mom with tender care!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Let him see you hug his mom in tender embraces. Let him hear you speak to her, "words of life and not death." The power of the tongue is greater than a sword.

5) Take lots of pictures has been said, but can't be emphasized enough.

6) Teach him how to tithe and how to save and why both are important. Set up the mutual funds account, set it to the biggest and fastest growth you can, there is plenty of time for highs and lows. Buy an ounce or two of Gold every year for him, put it in a safe or box at a bank.

7) I learned this one with my grandchild, -------- set up an email account for them, then, type them something as things happen, write them an email telling them what all you did that day or week, (don't let it go longer than a week, you will forget the little things), tell them the little things, the great things, maybe a bad thing that happened (not just to them but maybe to you and/or mom), tell him your thoughts, end the email in a prayer, let him here your anguish over something you have done or didn't do, let him hear your praise to God, let him hear how you want him to be covered by God's heavenly armies and covered by the Holy Spirit and walk with him. Now you won't give him this email address and password until "it's time." Yeah, teenager, 20's, 30's, the wife gives it after you're gone, I can't tell you when to give it to him, you will know that one, dad! Leave the email and password in your will just in case.

8) You may live in this world, be not of this world. Teach him how to put on the full armour of God everyday.

 

[rodney482]

wait 4 yrs for no 2
start a college fund
they are only little once
limit TV, Phones
Introduce them to Jesus

 

[PredatorSlayer]

For kids - if you are strict and discipline when they are young, you will be able to loosen up when they are older. I am so tired of seeing kids allowed to be disrespectful and the parents do zero to discipline.

For wife - Be patient and watch for symptoms of PP depression. Get her help ASAP if you see it. Also, you guys have to make each other a priority. Keep dating each other. Eventually the kids will grow up and leave the nest and it will be back to just the two of you.

 

[Bigred323]

Congrats man! I’ve got a 4 and 1 year old so we’re in the thick of it. Lol

Most important thing, do what is best for YOUR family. What works best for you and your wife is the most important. It’s crazy how many people love to tell you what they think should be done or how things should be done, but if they don’t live in your house, who cares.

Don’t get caught up in comparison of your kid to other kids. As a parent it’s hard not to, but every kid develops at a different pace. The whole milestone thing can really bother some parents because they start to feel that something is wrong. My son was a late talker (also born during Covid though) so everybody started worrying about him for some reason, but now that’s he started, that boy doesn’t stop lol.

And I’m gonna go against the grain here, but if you and your wife wanna let them sleep in your room or bed, let em. It’s like “taboo” if you let your kid sleep with you/in your room nowadays and people act like we’ve done something horrendous. Don’t get why people act like it’s the worst thing in the world to do. There will be a point in their lives they will want their own room and heck, may not even wanna talk us as teenagers, so we decided it’s worth the little feet kicking us for the amount of cuddles we get with them.

Do whatever works for you guys man. Support your wife no matter what. Remember, you guys were a team before this and need to continue to be a team during this. There’s definitely some tough times, but as long as you never see this as a “you vs her” thing, you can always work it out.

Oh and as your kid gets closer to 4, be careful saying the F word around him, they sure soak up everything

 

[Pharmseller]

I had a deal with my kids, if I didn’t say it, they couldn’t say it.

Cleaned me up a bit, I’ll tell you!

Kids don’t forget, and they keep score.




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[Sandhills]

Father of a two and a half and a five month old. Be there for mama, change diapers, get the house clean, cook, and most of all be there when she's anxious or feels down. Post partum depression is a bitch and I think that it destroys more young families than most realize.

Sleep regressions and fussy fazes are a thing that'll pass. They'll pass like a kidney stone but they'll pass. Ear infections are something both my boys experience and I pray that yours doesn't. Get tubes if it's the case.

Be willing to take a break from hunting for a bit. Last couple years I only dove and deer hunted with a pheasant hunt or two thrown in but this year will probably be no huntin.

 

[westslopelaker]

If you can afford it, hire a house cleaner to come every two weeks and do a deep clean of your home for at least the first year after the baby is born. You and your wife are going to be stressed and tired as new parents. It'll be a major help for both of you and it'll free up a ton of time. I did this for my family and it took a huge amount of work off our plate so we both could focus on all the ever-changing challenges and surprises of adding a baby to our family. It wasn't cheap but it was 100% worth it.

 

[mahonsr]

Some of the best practical advice my dad gave me was to hold the baby every chance you get. If your doing something and you realize you could also be holding the baby than go get him. It’s a great way to get time in with the baby specially when they’re so little and dependent on mom.

 

[Fullfan]

Spend every minute you can with the lil guy. When he can't walk throw hum in a backpack and take him w you. Trust me when I say this, he will be 30 before you know it.

 

[geistacwm]

Don't get so focused on the kid that you forget about your wife.

Agreed. Postpartum depression can be very rough.

 

[WRO]

The first 6 months suck, your wife will be crazy, the baby won’t give a shit about you. If you don’t love the pupua like your wife does and don’t think it’s particularly cute or amazing it’s normal.

But it just gets better and better, fatherhood is the best thing that ever happened to me.


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[cjdewese]

Relax, you won't mess it up with 1 mistake. Try your best, forgive yourself and check in with your wife often so you are on the same page.

Kids when young are remarkably resiliant and are great at learning new things. Challenge your kid in fun ways when they are young and be amazed at what they can do.

He will most likely be a mommas boy until 4-5, its completely normal but around that time they will start looking more for your input. Thats when all the time spent without much reward really starts to pay off and your own unique relationship with your boy will start. THIS is the time to do all the cool fun boy things.

Enjoy it all as it comes. Everything is unique amd passes by quickly.

 

[Dannyboy401]

Organized religion or spirituality exists to serve us. If you know you want to go to church but haven't found the right one, then by all means keep looking. If going to church no longer resonates with you spirutually, find something else that fulfills you spiritually. The most important thing is to forgive others, forgive oneself, love God and love others.

 

[Hunting183]

Take pictures! its great to look back on.

 

[Beendare]

6 pages of guys sharing good advice that I didn't read....maybe I can add something you haven't heard.

Spending a bunch of time with them early will help you somewhat control them in those rough years- 13-19 when their hormones are going crazy.

You can imprint on these kids early....very early. What do you want them to be? Examples;
I read to my kids every single night...and not just "One fish two fish" but classics like Black Beauty, where the red fern grows, and then a lot of classics inc. Jack London and Steinbeck stuff. My kids turned into incredible students with great comprehension.

My buddy is a soccer nut. He was kicking the ball with his son since he could walk. his son got a D1 scholarship to play soccer.

Imprinting can be good and bad. If you fly off the handle and lose your temper....or treat people poorly....or whatever....your kids will model that behavior whether you tell them, 'Do as I say not as I do' or not.

I tried hard to get my son into sports- Football and Baseball. He is a big strong kid....but alas, he is a nerdy gentle giant Computer science guy. You can only do so much to mold them...then you have to see what their personality is and where they are headed and go with it. It's a great journey.

 

[Wmmichael20]

Well the rest of the guy have given great advice, here's my little bit,go start kiddo a savings account and direct deposit 10 bucks a week in it and when the little one turns 18 they will have a good start on either college, trade school or to buy themselves a reliable vehicle to explore the world with. Congratulations on the new addition to the family.

 

[RandalH]

Cherish every minute. Before you know it, he will be a man. My baby boy is now 23.. time flew by.

 

[T-y-ler]

Thank you all for all the great advice. Many of these really hit home and many i haven’t thought of but are really good advice. Again, thank you all very much, i will definitely be coming back and rereading all of these from time to time.

 

[Sandhills]

One other thing I'll say is you are gonna to be your worst critic. Just remember you're doing a good job.