Best Advice for New Dad

[Beagle1]

Keep a constant eye on them, especially when outside.
My son, now 21, would just take off running at completely
random moments.
Scariest time was when I looked away for maybe 5 or so
seconds and found him 2 houses away in a boat in their
back yard.
That took appx. a month off the end of my life.

Did a similar thing many years ago. My young son was in the neighbor’s above ground pool and my wife asked me to watch him. I looked away for literally 5 seconds and when I looked back my son was at the bottom of the pool. Since he was near the edge I was able to reach in and pull him out. He was spitting water and crying but otherwise he was ok. I have no idea why it happened because he was able to swim. For some reason he just froze in the water and sank. It shook me badly.

 

[Beagle1]

Take lots and lots of videos and photos.

You can only be a good dad not a perfect one.

There will be good phases and bad phases. Enjoy the good phases before they are gone and don’t worry about the bad phases because they will also soon be gone.

You will hear about how quickly your boy will grow up. It’s true. Up through around sixth grade your boy’s childhood will seem slow and manageable. Then everything accelerates from junior high through high school and college is a blur.

 

[Axle]

Lots of people will tell you “oh it’s so fun having a kid. Little Johnny sleeps through the night, he does so well in his car seat, we just got back from the mountains and he loved it, etc.”

Well reality is not all sunshine and rainbows, and that’s normal. Be prepared for that. The great moments will be mixed in with the hard times. One of ours screamed bloody murder every time they were in their car seat for more than 10 minutes. That lasted about a year, and it made going anywhere pretty stressful. Had another kid that didn’t sleep through the night once until they were three. Also stressful.

Random things to expect…
Your spouse will probably buy all kinds of weird baby stuff off the internet that seems totally unnecessary.

When you go somewhere for the night, be prepared to carry in an inordinate amount of stuff. I highly recommend carrying it with a smile, and not asking what it’s for.

You are not going to agree with the wife on a lot of parenting things. Try to remember your wife loves your kids too, and no matter how stupid their choices may seem, they are probably doing the best they can, same as you.

 

[Snowwolfe]

Your son is way more important than any of your friends. Let that sink in. And don’t forget it when he wants to go with you when it comes time to enjoying the outdoors.

 

[Wolfshead]

As a Grandfather of two, with one Grandchild on the way, I would say, always try to do your best.
There is no handbook, and EVERYONE’s situation is different, so do YOUR best.
Time with your children is short so don’t miss it!

 

[Trimbandit]

First off, congratulations Tyler!
The joy and fullfulment you can experience as a father is hard to believe before having kids.

Second, it takes a brave man to ask for parenting advice on an online forum. You will get plenty of it. I am sure its coming at you in many other forms as well.
But that does tell me something about you, you are really trying and for that I applaud you.

I just finished a book I wish I read at your stage of parenthood. Its called 'How children learn"
I would have done so many things differently had I understood this better early on.

 

[Broken Twigg]

1) Make sure you are patient and don't be afraid to stop and take a breath when frustrated.

2) Be present for each stage of development. They are all special and once they are done, you can't redo them.

3) Make sure your child knows you love and care about him.

4) Make time, even if it's a small gesture, to be supportive and caring to your wife.

The rest will fall into place for you. Congratulations on becoming a new dad!

 

[Pharmseller]

One more thing I had to learn the hard way: kids need time to transition from one thing to another. So if you’re at the park (insert any activity here), for example, and it’s time to go, give him a two-minute warning first. Bud, we need to go in two minutes, so start getting ready.

It makes it much easier than just saying it’s time to go.




P

 

[SonnyDay]

Your wife has a huge built-in attachment advantage over you... so elbow your way in there any chance you get: change diapers, get up at night when you would rather stay in bed, give bottles, get puked on, etc. It will pay many dividends in the teen years and beyond.

 

[JFK]

Good advice above.

Consistency among parents is key. Kids will figure out if mom says yes and dad says no, they will exploit it and it then causes tension between you and the wife. If one parent makes a call, back it 100%, and discuss any differences at a later time away from the kids.

Spend time with them, tell them you love them often, but also show them the value of hard work and sacrifice. Once they are old enough to grasp it, explain that failure is part of life. Resiliency is in short supply these days, and we need more of it.

 

[HuntHarder]

Do not let the baby sleep in your bed at the start. We also har the new babies in their rooms almost immediately with monitors watching them. I have had many friends who let their kids stay in their room far too long and in turn, fought like he'll to get them out.

New babies aren't beautiful or fun. Many lie about this. Do not get frustrated and do your best to sleep as much as possible. You and your wife will be irritable and running on less sleep compounds that. Take turns resting.

No one has the right manual for YOU. Trial and error and keep your patience. You will find what works best for YOU.

 

[jlewis.sc]

Best thing we ever did with ours is babies in their own room from day 1. We slept so much better and were better help to them because of it.

Also spend the time with them personally, not through the screen if your phone recording or taking pics of every moment.

 

[hoooogan]

Not a parent, so take this with a grain of salt, but I have spent a ton of time with many friends and their kids. Consistency and team work is key, and those are mutually inclusive. My friends that don't have one usually also don't have the other. They struggle with their kids AND their own relationship. The difference is wild.

 

[SIontheHunt]

I have 2 under 2 right now. Wait until the first one can put his own clothes on and use the bathroom for a second....

 

[Yoder]

I wish I would have introduced my children to Jesus at an early age. I had a huge problem with organized religion so we never talked about it. The Bible has so much wisdom, I had no idea.

Besides that, research how to raise children from people you trust. I would just get screamed at and beat with something when I was a kid. There's a middle ground between beating your kids and raising free range children.

Spend time with him and be patient.

 

[Huntinmechanic]

Treat your kids like dogs and your dogs like kids. It's worked for me.

 

[LightFoot]

Just as the title states, my wife and I welcomed a baby boy into the world recently and wanted to see what folks best advice was or if you could go back and give yourself advice when you were just starting out as a parent. Already proving to be one of our most challenging but rewarding adventures in life

Congratulations! New dad here, too.
Also here for the wisdom of the senior dads.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[CorbLand]

I wish I would have introduced my children to Jesus at an early age. I had a huge problem with organized religion so we never talked about it. The Bible has so much wisdom, I had no idea.

Besides that, research how to raise children from people you trust. I would just get screamed at and beat with something when I was a kid. There's a middle ground between beating your kids and raising free range children.

Spend time with him and be patient.

Would you PM me how you would have done it? Like you my wife and I struggle with organized religion and I worry about raising my kid in a believing household without going to a church.

 

[NCTrees]

Great advice already so I’ll come at this from a different angle for what it’s worth. If it’s in the cards for you and your wife, have more! I was a very reluctant father, singular focus on career and was hyper- concerned about having a certain setting to bring kids into the world, somewhat selfish to keep a lot of the “extra” time for hunting and fishing back then and was set on having two, max. It worked I guess, my wife and I are very fortunate to live well and provide everything we and the kids could ever need. Now my youngest will be out of the house in about a month and it’s killing me. He’s a great guy and pretty much my best friend at this point. Can’t live in the past but if I had a chance to do it over I’d choose a dirt floor one room shack to have a couple more kids still at home for a few more years. Now, that wouldn’t work for my better half, LOL, but you catch my drift. At near sunset of what I think most would consider a very successful career and all the materialistic BS that comes with it, I could give a rip about all that compared to fatherhood. Enjoy the ride!

 

[Kemp]

Make sure you have a good hard drive or external am to save the pictures, and always a good idea cut poloroids