Traveling Job with Kids

[WCB]

I wouldn't do it if the trade of was essentially the same income because your wife wouldn't work. IMO I look at it as a lateral move for you with a two negatives (less time with son and no gain in income for the family). I would do it to stack money for the kids future or whatever may be needed in the future.

Also, from all the guys I know that have done sales the traveling part doesn't last long if they don't want it to. They either go to a different company with that experience and find jobs with less travel or work in to a leading sales job and oversee the traveling guys.

One really good friend of mine is a territory sales rep in the midwest. Somtimes gone for 2 weeks at a time and other times working from home for that period or longer. Him and his two daughters have a great relationship and they go 1,000 miles per hour when he is home and he makes it about them.

 

[Trackerbacker]

My daughter was born last year and next year she’ll graduate high school. Make of that what you will.

...The nights are long but the days are short...

 

[Grousehntr]

hard no for me. I have a 18 month old daughter and their isn't even time in my opinion for my passions like hunting and fishing. All day any day I will tell you she is way more fun to hang out with than being out in the woods.

 

[thedutchtouch]

My dad traveled a lot when I was a kid. It was our only/best financial option but I definitely have a different relationship with him than I likely would have if he was around more. As a dad, I'm making decisions to be with my daughters as much as possible and left a career that I loved but had me on call nights, weekends, and holidays to get a 9-5 job.

Nobody can tell you what's right for you/your family, but I'd stay with the job that lets you be with your kid. Jobs are just earning money to enjoy our lives after all, and it seems like you enjoy your kid.

 

[Yoder]

I used to either travel or work crazy hours when my kids were little. It was a huge strain on my marriage and I seriously regret the time I missed with my boys. I was in a situation where I didn't have much choice. We needed the money pretty bad. Traveling is fun. Traveling for work, usually sucked. Been to a lot of cool places and I'll I seen was the inside of a factory. One thing now that makes it a little better is the ability to video chat and also no long distance charges.

 

[Seth]

In my experience, the estimated travel time is lower than actual. I spent a couple of years traveling overseas for 2-3 weeks at a time while my kids were toddlers. I missed out on alot. Two events back to back made me reconsider. Another engineer in our office passed unexpectedly. His two boys eulogized him at his funeral. All they could say was he was a hard worker and loved the company he worked for. Shortly after that, my daughter 5 at the time was trying to understand what hobbies were. I explained it as something you really like to do. Her eyes lit up and she exclaimed, “I know what you like to do; you like to work!!!!”

That punched me between the eyes and I found something different within the company that kept me home. No regrets on spending more time with my kids.

 

[jimh406]

Everything is a tradeoff. Money isn't everything, but lack of money isn't good either.

I didn't travel, but I frequently got home when the kids were in bed due to working very long hours. I don't regret making more money due to that effort. It was needed later when the kids were in college. Also, it made paying for kid activities later very easy.

In my experience, the weekends are probably more important. Assuming you won't be so tired to enjoy the weekends, I think the extra money will be very helpful when the kid(s) get older.

You can do this new job for a while at a higher pay, and possibly move into a non traveling job later.

Finally, I think most people only get a few opportunities to truly transform their lives. Pass them up, and you'll likely regret them later. In my experience, the opportunities require extra effort and some sacrifice.

 

[displacedtexan]

I don't have kids... But growing up my dad traveled a lot.

Until I was 14 he worked 6 on 3 off, was usually gone most of his 6 days. He got a significant promotion, was gone about every 3rd week.

It was a different family dynamic, but all three of us have a great relationship with him.

And, yeah, he missed stuff. But when he was home, he was able to be more present, so he was also there for a lot of stuff that he wouldn't have been if he'd had a typical 9-5 job.

 

[bozeman]

Hard 'no'......dont put a price tag on time with your kiddos.........mine are 15 and almost 17....where did the time go? Seems like a blink......

 

[Mojave]

It is easy, your kids and wife will hate you. Your wife will cheat on your if she can get away with it.

 

[Customweld]

My daughter was born last year and next year she’ll graduate high school. Make of that what you will.

Man, ain't that the truth. Truly within a blink of the eye.

 

[2-Stix]

I own a general contracting firm/design studio. There are times I am home for months and there are times I work 60+ hour weeks for 1.5 years. I will only work like that if it will change my families future. I have gone balls out 2 times and I was able to pay my house off with the first hard push, I had a 2 year old son then. And then about a year ago I did it again and was able to pay off our rental, now I have a 5 and 10 year old. Because of those sacrifices my wife and I made I now have more freedom to be at home with a smaller biz and family overhead. I will only work crazy hard for a period of time that will make a signicate difference for my family as a whole. Paying off or buying a property, funding a college education, building a big chunk of retirement. Maybe put a time line on it. Work like that for 2 years, bank the money, then shift. My wife was on board, and managed the home. I didn't work weekends during those times. Often I would drop my son off at school and come home and both kids were in bed. What I never gave up with my hunting and family vacations. Typically a spring break ski trip and a 3 week camping trip to wyoming. I also closed the office between christmas and year years. I had a lot less day to day, but long rich extended times with the family. Now I am very slow and working 20 hours a week and I am home every hour they are.

Hope the helps, Josh.

 

[AZ_Hunter_2000]

This is based upon my personal experiences. For the past 13 years, I've been on the road (just for work) anywhere from 240-320+ days a year. Throw in time for hunting and vacations, that leaves very little time left at home. While the money has been nice, I have missed out on a lot of life's familial moments.

This is a decision that needs to be made by you and your SO.

Is your SO fine with taking on 100% of all responsibilities while you are out of town? Is your SO fine with you missing anniversaries? Is your SO fine with you missing birthdays? Is your SO fine with you not coming home due to travel delays, inclement weather and/or work delays? Is your SO fine with you missing special moments? Is your SO fine with you missing holidays or cutting short holidays? Does you SO trust you 100%? Is your SO co-dependent?

Flip those questions around and apply them to yourself.

You and your SO better be 100% in alignment with this; otherwise it can get ugly.

 

[Elite7]

Hard no for me. I wouldn’t put that much responsibility on my wife and my kids are learning new things everyday. Working a normal job and I still feel like I don’t see them as much as I would like

 

[PredatorSlayer]

It is interesting to see people’s priorities. When I quit traveling a few years ago it was due to the realization that my kids likely don’t need me at ball games or recitals or parent teacher conferences etc. but it absolutely killed me to miss that stuff. It was important to me to be present and involved regardless of how well my wife managed the home while I was away or how well my kids were doing without me home. Being a facetime parent sucks. Trying to watch a recital, baseball, basketball or football game on facetime sucks. Just my 0.02. You guys who are on the road all the time missing that stuff, I don’t know how you did it.

 

[bigbassin]

I work in the construction industry and it sure seems like the guys that travel a lot typically(not always) have very poor family situations.

I work construction as well, typically on the road half the time. Just my .02 without kids but observing others, a lot of those guys seem to bring those issues on themselves. They’re either difficult to get along with in general (so it makes sense they have poor family situations) or they’re very insecure (again leading to poor situations).

Not saying it isn’t hard, it definitely appears to be, but I think a lot of it comes down to the person.

Edit: didn’t read the whole thread before replying, apparently no one with kids is in agreement with me. Don’t listen to me

 

[Trackerbacker]

I work construction as well, typically on the road half the time. Just my .02 without kids but observing others, a lot of those guys seem to bring those issues on themselves. They’re either difficult to get along with in general (so it makes sense they have poor family situations) or they’re very insecure (again leading to poor situations).

Not saying it isn’t hard, it definitely appears to be, but I think a lot of it comes down to the person.

Edit: didn’t read the whole thread before replying, apparently no one with kids is in agreement with me. Don’t listen to me

Nope, I'd agree.

Most marriages are child-parent, not partners/besties.

Hence "how often does your wife LET you hunt" thread. Check out those replies.

Back to construction workers. There's two types of construction workers. Clean cut and professional, and dropouts. 30/70 on a good day I'd wager (from northern WI to Gulf shores, TN to Arizona are how far my projects range, and where these observations take place).

they do it to themselves. They'll rope anyone in they can too.

 

[Valsport]

It is easy, your kids and wife will hate you. Your wife will cheat on your if she can get away with it.

Ouch

 

[Mojave]

I spent 20 years in the military. I got married to the practice wife when I was 21. We were divorced when I was 23. I didn't get married again until I was 35 or 36 and 3 years from retirement.

I made fun of guys that got divorced because of our rotation schedule between training detachments, combat deployments and work ups I was gone for a really solid 12 years. My last 3 were shore duty at an embassy and that worked for starting a new life with someone.

The toll being gone takes on a marriage is huge on really young kids it is not worth it.

After I retired we had 3 kids at home all under 5. I went to work as a federal agent and left Monday and was home Friday 2-3 weeks a month. Within 180 days I had a new job, because it wasn't worth it.

My middle kid went from being my bestie, to hating me. It took 3 or 4 months of me being home every night before she decided I was worth her time. I think she was 2 years old.

I am home every night now unless I am hunting. It isn't worth it on my kids anymore.

 

[Jpsmith1]

I grew up with a father who worked a schedule similar to what you described.

Left Sunday night to be at work Monday AM. Came home Friday night, often very late.

I felt like he wasn't there, ever, and I never had a great relationship with him. We were estranged when he died 13 years ago.

I personally passed on job opportunities like this that would have involved travel like you have described so that my boys would have me at home.