Politics in high school sports

[PredatorSlayer]

How do you guys deal with it? My son is a sophomore and plays baseball. He was one of the best freshman last year and has only gotten better. He wasn’t invited to the inner squad varsity scrimmage while several of the other sophomores and some freshman were. I think the thing that was really disheartening is one of the freshman that got asked to scrimmage plays the same position and is on the head coaches travel ball team that he coaches. Kids not great, we have seen him play since middle school.

Son is a good kid, always has a great attitude, is a little quiet, but works hard. Has been getting up at 4:30am to lift. Super athletic, but not a specimen by any means. He is 5’11 weight 150. Benches 155 and squats 325. I think he will grow still, I am 6’5”. This is only the third day of practice. So could be much ado about nothing.

He also plays golf, its a fall sport where we live so he can do both. Also a super smart kid, straight A’s, school tested his IQ and it is pretty high and they have him in a program to challenge him academically.

I am dying inside, but just told him to keep working and grinding and it will work itself out. Any advice? I am not sure I can do this for another few years.

 

[Q child]

Your kid sounds impressive. I have a feeling things will work out great for your son.
Hang in there. I let coaching decisions like that deter me when I was a kid. I wish I hadn't.

 

[Customweld]

I can’t comment on baseball, but watched 2 of my daughters struggle with basketball, cheerleading and track. Nothing is harder than watching a coach break a good kids spirit. With my oldest daughter, it worked itself out. As she got older, she never really progressed. The youngest fought til she graduated.
I’m not saying this to be a dick, but sometimes we as parents don’t see the whole picture and think the kids are better than they really are. Sometimes personalities just don’t mesh. I don’t know what your situation is but if your kid is good and has potential, move or work diligently to find him a team that he can thrive on.

 

[sndmn11]

What does the coach say? Maybe a better question, why on earth are you "dying inside" over high school athletics?

I started varsity as a 14 year old catcher on a team that lost in the state semi finals in Colorado's 5a (the highest in Colorado). It wasn't a lot of fun, I missed my friends and the 17/18 year olds were poor role models, I learned to chew a lot of Copenhagen, I started drinking, it didn't do a lot for my baseball development, and it was a lot of pressure.

Nobody cares how tall, how heavy, how strong, etc., a high school player is. Baseball paid for my education, I played until I was 26, at high levels, and with hundreds of other players. I can't tell you how many of them slayed in college and sucked in high school. I also can't tell you how many gym bound (I was one) players got injured or plateaued on the field when flexibility, mobility, and explosiveness was the way to continuous improvement.

I wouldn't worry a wink over high school sports beyond instilling work ethic, learning failure, and seeing how a team functions. That takes place any level if you teach him the real purpose of high school athletics... If kid is getting up at 0430 he's off to a good start, don't take a dump on him.

 

[Theringworm]

You can’t change the coaches mind, and shouldn’t try to as a parent. It will only make matters worse. The ball is in your sons glove, if you will, and he has to be the one that makes decisions, speaks up, etc. Only thing as a parent that you can do is be supportive of your son. If moving or transferring is an option, have that discussion with him.

My oldest went through the same thing. He was clearly the 2nd best DB on the team and was on Varsity as a Sophomore. He was the tallest DB, 3rd fastest kid on the entire team, had good coverage skills, lacked a little in body mass so his run stopping open field tackling was just okay, but equally as good as everyone else’s except one kid who was the other starting Corner and a D1 recruit. My son wasn‘t recruit material, but he was better than the remaining options on the team. He sacrificed all summers for extra workouts, always picked the tougher assignments in practice (guarding a Top 5 Conference D1 receiver), you name it, he did it. Yet, for some reason his DB coached wouldn’t play him. 3 years on varsity and the kid barely saw the field. Start of his senior year we all thought for sure he would be the other starter opposite the D1 recruit. It became apparent during preseason he was not going to be. He came to me and said he was quitting. We discussed it, and I supported him 100%. He did all he could do, and the reward wasn’t going to pay off. As parents we are biased, they are our kids. But, when other parents have the same feelings you do and are saying the same things it gives some credit to how you are thinking.

He walked in, told the head coach he gave it his all, felt as though he was a starter since he was a junior but was never given a chance to prove it though his effort in practice should have been proof enough. Told him the coaches promised him a lot of things and yet never delivered. After repeated situations like this, he lost respect for them and their credibility. He said I am in a good place, things don’t always work out and I have moved on from wanting to play football. Gave him his jersey and walked out the door. Over the course of the next 6-7 games they never had the same starters at CB as no one performed well except for the D1 recruit. That was validation for my son. Best decision he ever made. His only regret, not making it sooner.

Just be supportive and don’t be like many other parents who try and live their life through their children (I am not accusing you of doing just to be clear). He went on to be a State Qualifier in Track, finished in the top 2% of his class and has a bright future ahead of him. Just love him, and support him.

 

[tony]

I wrestled, played a little football, ran track and was a member of the rifle club in high school. Never any good at basketball or baseball. Loved both though.
My daughter wanted to play softball, so I learned to play just by doing it with her. Fast forward and I coached a team.
Parents are the single worse thing in all children's sports. Most are 500 pound lazy fat ass experts in the game. All have their version of what needs to be done, yet none will break away from the snack stand long enough to pick up a ball, bat, or scorebook to help out.
As mentioned, talk with the coach, he will have his reasons. If your boy is as good as he sounds, he has time. does he play outside of school sports? He can only get better.

 

[Whaledriver]

I can speak to this on both sides. Careful to not live your high school through your son. The first thing I will say Is, there is politics through every aspect of life. I played high school and college baseball/basketball. A kid that has a famous name, alumni or booster is going to get an extra look. There is nothing you can do about that. What you can do is out work every other player. That is lifting early or being the last kid off the diamond every single day. Take him to hit a bucket of balls on a weekend or do some fungo. Be part of his success. If all else fails, have him meet with the coach....not you. Finally a sophomore is way young. Put in the work and watch good things happen. Good luck!!

 

[Sagebrushhunter]

Transfer schools if you can. I helped coach my son and his classmates play basketball from elementary until high school. My son ended up being the best kid in his class and he played varsity from his sophomore year on. I knew all the kids very well and several kids got the shaft when high school coaches chose who played. We had an assistant coaches son playing a ton when other kids deserved the playing time. I talked to the coaches about it but it was a losing battle

 

[svivian]

I may have missed it but what politics specifically? Have you or him talked with the coach and found out why he wasn’t chosen?

 

[74Bronco]

Been there, in some aspects. Ask some of the parents around here, and I have had a kid in both sides of this situation. Some parents would side with the coach and say my oldest kid deserved the spot, some would say he doesn't. Don't go face to face with the other dad and tell him how you feel at a public event. That can get pretty embarrassing pretty fast. Had it happen to me, and I didn't say anything, but bystanders openly laughed at him.
Younger son was in your son's spot, left baseball and ran track, and now has college offers in track.
In baseball if he wants to play after high school, go to the recruiting camps and he will get emails. PBR or Perfect Game I think are reasonable. Avoid the $5,000 camps. Typically these things work themselves out, but not always. I wish you the best, baseball has a lot to offer. but his straight A's and a work ethic will take him much further in life.

 

[Dwight2180]

I may have missed it but what politics specifically? Have you or him talked with the coach and found out why he wasn’t chosen?

I think the politics is the freshman plays on the coaches travel team.

 

[WV Mountaineer]

How do you guys deal with it? My son is a sophomore and plays baseball. He was one of the best freshman last year and has only gotten better. He wasn’t invited to the inner squad varsity scrimmage while several of the other sophomores and some freshman were. I think the thing that was really disheartening is one of the freshman that got asked to scrimmage plays the same position and is on the head coaches travel ball team that he coaches. Kids not great, we have seen him play since middle school.

Son is a good kid, always has a great attitude, is a little quiet, but works hard. Has been getting up at 4:30am to lift. Super athletic, but not a specimen by any means. He is 5’11 weight 150. Benches 155 and squats 325. I think he will grow still, I am 6’5”. This is only the third day of practice. So could be much ado about nothing.

He also plays golf, its a fall sport where we live so he can do both. Also a super smart kid, straight A’s, school tested his IQ and it is pretty high and they have him in a program to challenge him academically.

I am dying inside, but just told him to keep working and grinding and it will work itself out. Any advice? I am not sure I can do this for another few years.

What your kid is learning from this, is not to quit. Encourage him and, find it in yourself to not let him hear your side of it. He’ll be the star you imply he is working at. If he wants it.

 

[PredatorSlayer]

I think the politics is the freshman plays on the coaches travel team.

And is his son’s friend. His son goes to a local charter school…

 

[svivian]

I think the politics is the freshman plays on the coaches travel team.

Yeah but why isn’t his son playing travel ball?

 

[PredatorSlayer]

Why but why isn’t his son playing travel ball?

My son does play travel ball - actually for the same organization that the high school coach coaches, just one age group older.

 

[svivian]

Gotcha just asking questions to understand the situation better

 

[PredatorSlayer]

What does the coach say? Maybe a better question, why on earth are you "dying inside" over high school athletics?

I started varsity as a 14 year old catcher on a team that lost in the state semi finals in Colorado's 5a (the highest in Colorado). It wasn't a lot of fun, I missed my friends and the 17/18 year olds were poor role models, I learned to chew a lot of Copenhagen, I started drinking, it didn't do a lot for my baseball development, and it was a lot of pressure.

Nobody cares how tall, how heavy, how strong, etc., a high school player is. Baseball paid for my education, I played until I was 26, at high levels, and with hundreds of other players. I can't tell you how many of them slayed in college and sucked in high school. I also can't tell you how many gym bound (I was one) players got injured or plateaued on the field when flexibility, mobility, and explosiveness was the way to continuous improvement.

I wouldn't worry a wink over high school sports beyond instilling work ethic, learning failure, and seeing how a team functions. That takes place any level if you teach him the real purpose of high school athletics... If kid is getting up at 0430 he's off to a good start, don't take a dump on him.

I think it is hard to see all the work he puts in for the coach to pick a freshman to play over him. Its his disappointment thats tough to see as a father. I played high school baseball, but basketball was my sport. I don’t care if he plays or not, I care that he cares…I probably just didn’t articulate it very well. I would be ok if he quit baseball and focused on golf. He just loves baseball.

 

[bigbassin]

Tough, but as mentioned above relationships and politics are part of every endeavor in life. Sometimes you’re on the winning end, sometimes you aren’t.

Saw 3 state champ (205, 220, and heavyweight, all future high level D1 wrestlers) be told to quit wrestling or quit football by the football coach. 2 future American Conference D1 receivers transfer because they played AAU vs Pop Warner and were told they’d never start because of it. 3 kickers in one season quit after being told football or soccer despite zero overlap in seasons.

Lost the state semifinals game by 2 points after 4 missed field goals. Have to wonder if you weren’t on your fourth string kicker would that many kicks of been missed? If you had 3 D1 athletes on your D-line and 2 D1 receivers would you have ever needed that field goal anyways?

Again, tough in the moment but everything seemed to workout for all of those kids. Not so much for the coach.

As an added comment, participating in high school sports certainly shaped a good bit of my life as well as I figure many people’s. But position, playing time, wins and losses? Probably zero impact at all.

Saw a lot of parents chasing scholarships that spent more money than just paying for college would have cost. Seemed a lot of them forgot their kid would have to be accepted (and stay out of trouble) for any on the field play to even matter.

The discipline he’s already learned is probably the most important takeaway he can get.

 

[svivian]

I don’t think there hasn’t been a time this stuff doesnt happen…. It sucks when it does. Coaching is a tough job

 

[cnelk]

Been there - done that.

My daughter worked her ass off playing softball in HS and club ball for years. Coaches come and go.

We made it through. She got a college scholarship and in her freshman year had .551 BA. Ranked 13th in the nation.

She went on to get her BA in Business Administration and is now a stay at home mom and working as an Auditor.