Memorable lines from grandpas

[Desk Jockey]

“Get off my Lawn!”
- Grandpa Walt shortly before he died.

 

[ELKhunter60]

Aren't people the craziest thing you ever saw?
Get down outa here and get that dog!
I came here to kick a$$ and chew bubble gum, and I'm all outa bubble gum.
when we went fishing "OK, who's going to catch the first, the biggest, and the most?" with a grin on his face.
God gave us two ears and one mouth for a reason.
No matter where you're at, there you are.
Just a bump in the road.
Don't loose more than you an afford.
I've decided I'm not getting sick.

 

[zpooch]

When I had one semester left in college
"You got her by the ass on a downhill drag"

 

[JMDavies]

If it floats, flies or f#%ks... you're better off renting it.

 

[Elk97]

A jackrabbit would have to pack a lunch to cross this place

 

[BRTreedogs]

These will all be my dad.

Get a vasectomy then you can point it at anyone they won't care.
World's smallest violin playing my heart crystal for you.
In the 70s & 80s I wouldn't walk 500 yard to shoot a 30" buck I'll just wait till 1 walks by.
Had to memorize the words on the pilot's test cause I cant read or write.

 

[tater]

The one that sticks for me from my Gramps is "You want something to cry about? I'll give you something to cry about."

He passed when i was seven, but when i start climbing up on the pity pot i reflect on that and keep on keepin' on.

I had a great older gent who was like a grandpa to me that taught me that "Anything built by a man and broken by a man can be fixed by a man as well."

 

[Nickofthewoods]

My grandpa has tons of one liners, jokes, and sayings! Unfortunately they are all racist, offensive, and reek of bourbon. Not many great memories from mine either and my other grandad passed when i was very young.

 

[cjl2010]

“Never pass up an opportunity to shut the **** up.” He taught me to listen to hear not listen to respond.

 

[pwmmcd]

On finding a woman of solid constitution:
"Shade in the summer and warmth in the winter."

 

[rustneversleeps]

You can sleep when you're dead.

 

[Doghed]

You stepped in what?.... to just about anything you said to him.

 

[Goose2345]

I’ve got two that stick with me I’m sure there is many more that I’ve forgotten since he’s passed!
one he use to tell me as a teenager was“ you’ll be a man before your mother” and another as a high schooler “ you can marry more money in minutes then you can make in a lifetime”

 

[slingerHB]

A few things I've heard while growing up on the farm

-Can't make a silk purse out of a sows ear.
- tighter than a boars ass sewed up with a log chain

Sent from my XT1585 using Tapatalk

 

[Jherek]

I'm really glad you started this thread, it makes me smile alot, and brings back lots of great memories with my Grandpa!

If some of you are on FB and haven't heard of Popwatch, go check it out..... It's a Grandson who films his (Pop) his grandpa. He's a sharp old cranky guy, He brings tons of laughs, and makes your really miss those old timers in your life that are gone!

 

[TheGreek]

My grandpa used to always say “the easiest thing a man’s gotta do every day, is put on his pants and go to work.” It never made sense to me until I had a wife and children of mine own. Now it makes a lot of sense.

 

[Jherek]

My Grandpa lived to 99. He was Extremely healthy, no surgeries nothing. When he was about 90 I asked him, what's the secret? He said, see that can of copenhagen over there, it's been in my pocket since I was 10, and a shot of brandy every night! Lol not sure I agree that chewing was the trick!

What a long day, I'm tired....
Tired...??? If you fallowed me around for a day, by the end you'd be walking around like you were pulling a 4 bottom plow!

 

[ry_kj_an]

When you’re not quite sure what you are getting yourself into it’s best to stick your fanger in it first.

 

[Jake T]

My grandpa to my grandma after coming home from the bar one night
"I must be getting old, I had to hit him twice before he fell and it was over"

He was 70 at the time.

 

[Browtineswetlines87]

Me- Long day Gramp....
Him- Nope still 24 hours.