Memorable lines from grandpas

[dr.mooseknuckles]

Prior to trial for some legal stuff I had go on:
“No matter what happens, at least they won’t eat you alive.”

Pretty good perspective, all things considered


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[Billy Goat]

Not my grandad but one all the same-

" A farmer never prays for a crop failure, except when he is sowing his wild oats."

As a teenager growing up when I was getting ready to go out my dad would say "Remember you gotta work in the morning.". One time got home and was horribly hungover, had to move hay from one wagon to the other, don't know why. And was too out of it to even question, I was just trying to not fall off the top.

 

[KNOPHISH]

Get a haircut hippy.
Or mostly, HUH? To everything cuz he was deaf

 

[87TT]

My grandfather passed when I was almost seven. I don't remember any lines but I did learn a few cuss words much to my Mom's chagrin.

 

[ScottH]

"When you start to think they can't do without you , fill a bucket with water, stick your finger in it pull it out and see how big of hole you leave"

 

[ScottH]

" I got buddied up with a real winner at work today. Won't be on this job long"...why... "That guy's been fired more than Davy Crocket's rifle."

 

[FLAK]

Whats your girlfriend hiding with that makeup?

Stop leaning on that shovel!!

 

[Kgentry]

My grandpa always says my girlfriends 6’ tall and she doesn’t call me shorty.

 

[NW307]

"he/she is so ugly they'd make a freight train take a dirt road"

 

[ozyclint]

from my old man- "run when others are walking, so that you can walk when others are running"
best advice i've ever followed.

 

[LitenFast]

“Gettin’ old ain’t for sissies”


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[Bouldercreek]

"Keep those grades up or you'll be puttin stickers on apples."

 

[WCB]

"That's about as usless as tits on a boar"
"Don't right checks your body can't cash"...he uses this one for either fighting or dating

 

[Chris aka stlhntr]

My grandpa Roy " Its colder than a witches tity in a brass bra" and my favorite " Slicker than snot on a pumpkin" man I miss my granddad

 

[CorbLand]

Mostly sit down. Shut up. Does he ever stop asking questions? Stop running around.

Unfortunately, I don’t have great memories of my grandpa. Last time I saw him, he couldn’t even remember my name and he is completely there mentally.

The other one passed before I was born.


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[Squamch]

I missed out on grandparents for the most part, but I remember mum asking me once "Do you know the difference between bullshit and horseshit?" Bullshit is a lie you tell someone else, horseshit is a lie you tell yourself!"

From my dad, I got advice about where to shoot moose. "There's only two good places to shoot a moose; in the neck, and on the road!"

I have had some sage words from journeymen over the years though.

"You could f+++ up an orgy in a whore house!"
"You couldn't organize a jerkin off competition with yourself!"
"That guy's so dumb he could f+++ up a left turn!"
"Do they really pay you to be here?"
"Did your parents have any children that lived?"

 

[Gunnersdad49]

When asking the difference between a coho and a sockeye: “there’s only 3 kinds of fish. Bigguns, Littleuns, and Minners”

When visiting with my chatty high school girlfriend, who asked why I was so quiet: “ Darling, now he knows everything that you know and everything that he knows. You still only know what you know.“

 

[Montana Slim]

"Don't worry about a thing, 'cause nothins gonna be alright..."

 

[notradame]

"Never let them see you cry"

 

[HOT ROD]

Ur not dead get up and walk it off.. U boys better straighten up or U get Ur asses tanned... We make hay while the sun shinning and its shinning lets move..