Memorable lines from grandpas

[nodakian]

“If it’s worth doing, it’s worth doing right”. He did not tolerate a job done sloppily or half way.

“Tighter than a thumb in your bung”.

 

[Bsnyder]

grandpa's lines
1. Shining like a diamond in a goats a**
2. shaking like a dog Shi*in sandburs
3. Colder than a witches ti* in a brass bra

step dad one of his famous lines when we asked for something
"you can sh*t in one hand and wish in the other let me know which one fills up faster." makes me laugh now that im older.

 

[247 bowwalker]

It's hard telling.? Not knowing.

 

[Hnttillmt]

Grandpa had a lot of them. Here’s two that jump out.
1: A fartin man never tires so a fartin man is the man to hire.
2: There’s nothing wrong with the church son, it’s just the sons of bitches that belong to it.

 

[Mosster47]

"You can be as useless as you want to be."

"Stay away from those girls."

"It's colder than a penguin's dick out here."

 

[Ddog]

Boy, back when I quit drinkin', Kessler had to lay off second shift.

 

[ethan]

Random person: "it takes all kinds to make the world go 'round"

Grandpa: "That's horseshit, it don't! But they're here anyway!"

 

[ethan]

"When I got out of the Army my mom didn't know I drank for about three months and she saw me sober"

 

[Milestone522]

In being in the outdoors:

“Drink before you are thirsty, eat before you are hungry, and rest before you are exhausted. Because if you are thirsty, hungry, or exhausted...you are probably too late for your body to catch up.”

In regards to complimenting a woman dressed up for the evening:

Say...“You make that dress look good”......( “Always compliment the woman in the dress, not the dress on the woman”)

 

[Jeepers87]

Grandpa: I quit school because it had recess, cause I don’t play.

A man of little humor he was but a heart of gold and work ethic until the end.

 

[Danomite]

It’s hotter than two rats f##*n in a wool sock on the sunny side of a tin roof.

 

[Goatie]

Actually my uncle, but when he wanted you to know he was telling you the truth he’d say, “if I told you a chicken dipped snuff, you could look under his wing for the box”.

 

[Carr5vols]

He said you would never learn anything talking. He was a quiet man.

 

[Milestone522]

From my Field Training Officer 26 years ago...rules to memorize , which I passed on years later myself as an FTO

#1 don’t sweat the little shit
#2 everything is little shit
#3 you can’t teach a cow to whistle (if you cannot change it, do not try)
#4 anger is one letter away from danger (stay cool or get yourself in trouble)

 

[TxxAgg]

In regards to religions, mine used to say "Everyone wants to go to Walmart, but they don't need to drive there in the same kinda car."

 

[longspeak74]

I never knew my grandpa's, they both passed shortly after I arrived. Got all my sage advice from my dad.
"Keep your ears open and your mouth shut"
"Gotta make hay when the sun shines"
"Stick your finger in your ear, I'm going tell you something"

 

[Fozzy26]

“You only have one, don’t wish your life away”

His response to my comment of wishing it wax the weekend in random conservation.One of the biggest things that has stuck with me

 

[Agross]

Tired as a one legged man at an ass kicking contest

 

[Drenalin]

Come up the mountain with me. I'll let you carry the chainsaw.

 

[D.Rose]

"The only place in life where you can start out on top is painting flag poles"

"If you dont let it start you wont have it to stop"