Memorable lines from grandpas

[BurningBeard]

"If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck, it's gotta be a moose."

 

[Don Qui Puncher]

Sh*t in one hand, wish in the other see which one fills up first.

 

[Hawkeye5964]

Telling a mother to let her son grow up.... Can’t put a tit in a lunch pale.

 

[Hhardrockminer]

There were plenty but not from my da as I didn't have one but thru the yrs. I've learned a few from men I admire. LIKE " I'm so hungry my belly button is talking to my backbone"
" I'm so hungry I could eat six piglets and chase the sow for desert"
My brother always told me "you'll never be a man until you drink your coffee black"

 

[sasquatch]

one I wont forget about the phrase the good old days

"now is the good days, yea bread use to only cost a nickel but you never had a damn nickel"

 

[Rsully661]

Best one I ever heard from my Grandfather
“ if they made tires out of vaginas they would never wear out”



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[207-12A]

I’m setting the table for dinner, Grandpa you want a glass of water?

“Son I don’t drink water unless it’s been through the brewery first.”

On my life I’ve never seen that man drink anything besides light beer.

 

[Shraggs]

My last summer on the farm bailing hay as a teenager. . We go into town for supplies and he notices me looking at girls as we drive. He smiled as I told him id like one. He laughed, and said;

Two bulls on top of hill, young one says to the old one, hey look at all those cows let’s run down and get one! The old bull says, no... I’ll walk down and get them all.

I still don’t get it...

Pretty bold considering he was also the minister.

But loved when he’d say prentnear got the tractor stuck or something

 

[Btaylor]

One that always befuddled me as a kid was "I do declare" then silence. I would be like what? What do you declare? Freaking say something. WTH?

 

[flatlanderhuffandpuff]

This is one that I never heard directly from my grand dad but my own father has passed it on with credit to his dad.

"The hurrier I go the behinder I get"

 

[Squamch]

Dad would always say "I'm so hungry, my stomach thinks my throat's been cut!"
Or "gotta piss so bad my molars are floating."

 

[timberland]

"slicker than a school mama's leg"
"drier than a popcorn fart"
"raining like a cow pissing on a flat rock"

that's just the beginning. I'll remember more

"one shot, deer. two shots, maybe deer. three shots, no deer"

 

[timberland]

we used to drive deer , and coming out of a particular nasty piece "the shortest distance between two points is a straight line, but not in there"
Another time we came out and someone said that drive wasn't worth a Sh%$, and dad said well, its at least worth one. (after doing his business)

 

[mtwarden]

my grandfather on my Mom's side was a man of very modest means, but loved to get to get together with family for picnics- the men would drink cheap beer, hot dogs on the grills, kids playing kickball, etc

he would be sitting in a chair taking it all in say "wonder what the poor people are doing today?"

I use that a bunch now when I'm in the backcountry sitting back and soaking in the views- "wonder what the poor people are doing today?"

 

[Hhardrockminer]

Yep, for being free has whole different meaning to those living it in the upscale world

 

[100percent]

I have one question in relation to this??? Who ever measured the viscosity of owl shit or tiger shit??? My old man knew the difference obviously!!!! Anyone relate???

 

[HERD CHALLENGER]

You think you’re big and bad like Alan Ladd but you’re small and puny like Mickey Rooney

 

[parkj5]

My grandfather's two saying i can remember is " If its got tits or tires u gonna have issues with it " and being he was a WW2 rifle sergeant he used to say "Never trust a man that doesn't look u in the eye while u shake his hand "

 

[rickjames80]

"Hard to beat a guy that never gives up"
And
"Don't be scared, God hates a coward"

 

[Grumman]

“If it was easy work everyone would be doing it.”

“I’ll be a suck egg mule”


I’ve enjoyed this thread and the reminiscing it made me do.


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