"I don't really want to kill anything"

[ProStaffSteve]

I have a couple of different perspectives on this situation.

In the last few years, I have really enjoyed times where I didn't have a tag and was just there to help. You get all of the experience, the exertion, the fun, but with a lot less pressure to be successful. Depending on the person I'm with, I am every bit as or more invested in the outcome.

My dad is great and I absolutely have my love of the outdoors thanks to him. I can remember being carried on his shoulders turkey hunting in the bluffs. A quick afternoon duck hunt. We shot hundreds of pheasants and dozens of turkeys. As soon as I could drive, I was skipping school to hunt (with the car he gave me). I would pay a handsome fee to get back some of the voicemails he left me...

Unfortunately, he decided he was "too old" far too early. Everything became too far, too steep, too something. He was never in great shape and never prioritized it. Although he can afford anything he wants and does with multiple country club memberships (he's the mayor of golf), when it came to hunting he's not been one to pay much. He kind of wants it to be free, flat land or downhill both ways, start late and quit early, with a target rich environment. He doesn't want to plan ahead or think about tags and such. It's simply an after thought. I don't care who is playing football tonight or about drinking with his old friends in town.

In short, my priorities are far too different than his to actually enjoy hunting with him these days. It's honestly just been frustrating for several years. My mother also commented that he doesn't seem to enjoy or prioritize hunting these days.

Because I still value spending time with him, and by his own admission, we have unspokenly landed on fishing. He likes fishing more these days anyway. It's low pressure for success, we go somewhere cool and pay a guide. The hours and the weather are more comfortable. The lodging and meals are significantly better. Recently, he had a health scare and I definitely spent some time reflecting on all of this. I know someday I'll wish for one more hunt together but for now, we fish.

I like your perspectives, some of which embody my dad's place in life. In some ways he is so chill & into everything it could be just as nice to head out on the water & catch walleyes. He moved to a lake so we do that pretty often these days. Different priorities are an issue, describes himself as a fair-weather fisherman... Didn't get much fair-weather elk hunting on my first taste

 

[ProStaffSteve]

Once some folks reach a point, the kill isnt why they go. We hunted out of a camp for a while that had kids too young to hunt solo, young men, middle aged men, and finally the old men who kept the camp fire burning, drank the burbon and played cards.

Took my dad to CO in 2019 as camp cook. We got froze out by a subzero blast and ended up in town at a hotel. Couldnt warm the canvas wall tent w propane heater. Buddy and i still hunted and dad thawed out. We got a nice muley and missed 2 others. Was dad’s last trip. Good memories.

He’s still here, went fishing yesterday. Going on 83. Every trip is a blessing. He doesn’t slow me down, he makes the experience similar to all the others in my memory. Not sure i will continue to hunt when he’s gone.

As im older and have grandkids, it isnt as much about the kill but how you get there.

Bring your dad w you. Hunt as hard as you want, he’ll be at camp with some hot food when you stumble in. Will want to hear what you seen and share in it all. If his trip is like my dad’s he’ll see more from camp than you do elsewhere. Enjoy it!

Beautiful. Thank you.

 

[tony]

Man, that was most my hunts back when I went. I'd just sit in the woods and enjoy the piece and watch the deer walk by.
Actually had a fawn bleat once.
I had more fun in the cabin with my ex father in law and his Vietnam era buddies busting each others balls. Cooking, eating and drinking.

We built a pretty decent cabin, had a propane stove with oven in it. My ol FnL loved to cook. One night he put a big ham in the oven. Next morning after we'd been out a few hours we all come back in to eat.
One of the guys pulled the ham out. Next thing we hear is "Terry! you stupid SOB, you didn't take the plastic of the damn ham!"
One of the best hams I ever had. Low heat, that plastic kept all the juice in.

 

[Beendare]

I've had hunts where even with my Recurve, I passed on dink or layup shots on critters.
It would have shortened my hunt...

.....and if I'm not that excited about the animal...why shoot it? Especially Mule deer or Blacktail....they eat terrible.

 

[timekiller13]

My Dad no longer gets tags. He comes along as “camp chef” (that’s his self imposed title). He loves it. He cooks, fiddles around camp, reads etc. he will come out and hunt with me some days and some days he just stays in camp. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Are there time where maybe he has “held me back?” Maybe. But I’m always glad to have him along.

 

[Rich M]

My Dad no longer gets tags. He comes along as “camp chef” (that’s his self imposed title). He loves it. He cooks, fiddles around camp, reads etc. he will come out and hunt with me some days and some days he just stays in camp. I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Are there time where maybe he has “held me back?” Maybe. But I’m always glad to have him along.

Exactly.

 

[bshanggi]

My dad doesn't have much drive to hunt anymore, but he's always there to celebrate my success. And I'm very grateful for it!

 

[TheHammer]

Not to have a pitty me story. My dad isn’t a nice guy, my childhood wasn’t very great. I’m probably the only person who forgives him in life. He always expressed hunting west. Well after a few elk hunts I knew the mountains weren’t gonna be for him on a diy. So I arranged a Sandhills muley hunt, in attempts to make a decent memory in life, something to over ride all that negative crap. Well he he managed to royally screw that up, pretty significantly. Needless to say that was the last straw and I removed him from my life completely, never been more free or happy…. But…. What I’d do to actually have a positive experience with my dad, an adventure like you have the opportunity for. Man this shouldn’t even be a question.

 

[505Wapiti]

Not to have a pitty me story. My dad isn’t a nice guy, my childhood wasn’t very great. I’m probably the only person who forgives him in life. He always expressed hunting west. Well after a few elk hunts I knew the mountains weren’t gonna be for him on a diy. So I arranged a Sandhills muley hunt, in attempts to make a decent memory in life, something to over ride all that negative crap. Well he he managed to royally screw that up, pretty significantly. Needless to say that was the last straw and I removed him from my life completely, never been more free or happy…. But…. What I’d do to actually have a positive experience with my dad, an adventure like you have the opportunity for. Man this shouldn’t even be a question.

I hear you loud and clear… similar situation, I’ve never hunted or wet a hook with my dad. My boys are 13 and 11 and he’s never seen either one. At 50, I’ve moved on and am at peace with it all. I can’t change the past, but I can certainly impact today and the future if God gives me another day and I spend each one trying to be the best dad I can be. The memories in the field and on the water with my boys I wouldn’t trade for the world and all its riches. I hope some day they will say the same. To the OP, enjoy the blessings you have while you have them.

 

[keller]

Reading this thread sitting in a folding chair next to a hospital bed with the greatest man I've ever known my father in that bed after his second stroke in 90 days. If I can get 1 more hour fly fishing with him....

 

[ThisIsMyHandle]

My dad has been gone since 2011. I haven’t hunted with him since 2009. I could care less if he wants to kill or not, if he could be with me I’ll take it.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[f16jack]

Good question to ask. Great that you decided to include him. You need to set your expectations, though, based on his abilities. If you think you can scamper up the mountains and that he'll be able to keep up you might be surprised. He might out climb you, or he might wear out halfway up.
My brother and I had our dad join us years ago on a mountain hunt. He had hunted earlier in life, but had been out for about 20 years. He dithered initially, and then committed. When we got off the bush plane it started to become clear that we had made a mistake. He wasn't fit enough, and his attitude through the week was not helpful. We were in a cabin and he just felt trapped, out if his element.
We all agreed that his inclusion on this hunt was a mistake.
So, for all the responders 'dissing you for asking the question, it is a valid question. Not all relationships are as clear cut, Andy Griffith style, as we might like.
The issues we had were not about filling our tags or success. It was about family dynamics and relationships.

 

[t_carlson]

My father doesn't really shoot much these days unless we're bird hunting.

He still likes to come along, though.

My guess is, you are under 30. I held similar feelings when I was younger. Now, I enjoy every trip with him.

You've probably heard it a thousand times, but its not all about the kill. Its funny how we can hear those things but not realize what they really mean.

 

[t_carlson]

Maybe my biggest cause for hesitation is I saw how challenging things were with myself & another guy my age. On top of that we each took 3 weeks & had plenty of un-fun along our way towards fun. Partially, having two guys with tags double the chance of success which would be nice.

You are way too wrapped up in killing being the only metric of a good time.

Also, two guys with tags won't "double your chance of success" on elk. There are solo hunters who tag out every year. There are large groups of guys who hardly ever fill a single tag, much less the whole group. Its not really a game of saturation.

If you do shoot one, you'll be glad that your dad is along and wants to help pack meat. Any warm body is nice when an elk hits the dirt.

 

[digger]

It’s still time with your Dad. Really I can’t see the question.

 

[Tradchef]

My dad left my mom when I was 2. Would never hunt with me and had every bullshit excuse he could think of. Im 47 now and have never hunted with my father. The only thing I ever wanted in my life was to hunt with him and it never happened and never will. I tried and talked to the answering machine one to many times. Now….. I hunt solo and learned the hard way but learned well over the years. I wouldn’t trade my hunting lifestyle for anything now but If I had the chance I’d still jump at the chance to hunt with him. Point being make the time. If you have it do it. Time goes by fast and with the way the world is these days make time because it’s the only time we have. You won’t regret it

 

[Coldtrail]

My dad turned 80 this year, after a 50yr career in construction, and a fight with cancer his body will no longer let him do much, even the flatland hunts. Last year I offered to set him up on a white tail hunt in a heated blind, his reply was "I just can't do that anymore"

Those are tough words to hear, hit me like a hammer to lose my most important hunting mentor. If your dad wants to go, take him....when he doesn't want to go, figure out a way to allow him to go for as many years as you can, because when you can't you will be telling yourself you should have gone more.

 

[HappyHuntr]

Take him, take him, take him, take him, take him!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Don't know how much more you're going to get. Take advantage.

 

[Sevens]

I vote take your dad and enjoy the time with him.

I remember the last thing I did with my dad. We went to a baseball game and ate a bunch of $2 hotdogs. I had a great time having my dad all to myself (my little brother was at home with mom because it was a school night). He died the next day, I was 8 years old. Would love to have more baseball games with my dad and I am no baseball fan by any stretch of the imagination.

 

[Newtosavage]

So, I went on my first hunting trip to Montana last fall. I spent three weeks there and left an elk tag unfilled, but I was able to successfully take a 4x4 mule deer and saw lots of up-close spike bulls. My dad was intrigued by my activities and expressed interest in helping out with packing meat and whatever else. I mentioned that I'd love to get him out there and get him on something. We used to hunt in Northern MN, and he took several deer and one really nice 10-pointer, so I figured he wouldn't mind. With some tag deadlines on the horizon, I reached out, hoping he would be getting excited.

Instead, he expressed that he'd rather just tag along like he had proposed last year. I have hunted/fished with other people who were not really committed to the sport before, and I find that it lowers success rates, dampens moods, and hinders the experience - like drinking with someone who is sober. Although I'd love to hunt with my dad again, I'm unsure if it's worth it if he's not fully committed to the experience.

Anyone have similar experiences?

Just be a good son and hunt with your dad, whether he wants to kill anything or not.

When you have a son, you will understand.