How much hunting does your wife let you get by with?

yeahkkyle

FNG
Joined
Dec 13, 2022
Messages
39
Location
PA
I have two boys (3 & 5) and I wouldn't say having kids or my wife have limited the amount of time I hunt but I have changed what I hunt for due to my passion and ease on the family life. I was in the Navy from 2013-2019 and didn't have much time to hunt/fish but when I came home I still coyote hunted due to being No Closed season in PA. After the Navy I went down the rabbit hole of buying thermal so I do still hunt 1-2 times a week all year long, sometimes more if hunting a tournament. I don't deer hunt as much anymore but I'm sure that will change once the boys can go with. I've taken the oldest predator hunting a few times. The night time hunting works out good for me being the kids are in bed and I'm just sacrificing my sleep.
 
Joined
Sep 22, 2021
Messages
470
Location
Western NC
I hunt and fish pretty much when i want. My wife and I have been together 10 years. the first two years. I left Christmas day and didn't see her until after new years because i was hunting. I plan my vacations around hunting time off. She plans a trip with her parents every year that i "might" go on. We take a big trip once a year, and during the spring, summer we pretty much do what she wants. Come September 1 she knows not to plan anything big without talking to me and making sure i havent already got something planned. She is a little upset that im planning an elk trip for next year to an area we have never vacationed at and wants to go but doesn't understand when im away hunting im not staying in an AirBnB sipping coffee till 10 like we do on our trips.
 

Rich M

WKR
Joined
Jun 14, 2017
Messages
5,582
Location
Orlando
My thoughts exactly... to each is own. I learned long ago that each marriage and relationship is different. Reading these responses, I chose wisely.

If something is important to you, it is a make it or break it kind of thing early on in the relationship. Waiting til you got kids to worry about going hunting is a little behind the curve.
 

roymunson

WKR
Joined
Jul 12, 2021
Messages
500
Location
NE OHIO
My thoughts exactly... to each is own. I learned long ago that each marriage and relationship is different. Reading these responses, I chose wisely.
bingo...

Coming to the table with the other's best intrest in mind goes a long way. I'm blessed to have a wife who can do that to me, and I can do the same. Going hunting to only fulfill myself while I leave her high and dry wouldn't be very relaxing for me.

Plus, I like being with the girl. She's my favorite person.
 

grfox92

WKR
Joined
Mar 14, 2017
Messages
2,765
Location
NW WY
If something is important to you, it is a make it or break it kind of thing early on in the relationship. Waiting til you got kids to worry about going hunting is a little behind the curve.
When me and my wife started dating, I told her something to this affect....

"From September 1st through December 31st, my life revolves around hunting. I hunt a lot, every weekend, and also take at least a week of vacation and will hunt every single day of that vacation. Expect me to miss parties and any non holiday events that come up during that time frame. If this is a problem for you I'm just letting you know now this is just how it is. If you ever start giving me a hard time about hunting, Im out."

She thought it was hilarious, but understood and took it seriously. That conversation solidified how important hubting was to me and she was ok with it. Now the only thing that limits how much I hunt is me, and how much I miss my kids.

Sent from my SM-G990U using Tapatalk
 

roymunson

WKR
Joined
Jul 12, 2021
Messages
500
Location
NE OHIO
Probably the most sane comment I've seen on this thread
I'm blessed enough that she loves to hike and adventure, but doesn't hunt. So when I pitched an Alaska hunt with a buddy to her she said "sure, but I wanna tag along"

Thats a winning compromise if you ask me.
 

WKB

Lil-Rokslider
Joined
Jun 13, 2023
Messages
141
Location
Kansas
TLDR: talk to your partner early and often

I find that communication is key. I don't look at this as a transactional agreement (i.e I give you 300 nights, I get 65 nights in return). This is a partnership and we have to work together to ensure that our alone interests and our common interests are fulfilled. She is from the South so she is used to the men in the family going to "deer camp" for a couple of weeks in the fall, but I do not abuse that. She doesn't want to hunt and quite frankly I do not want to take her on a hunt. However, I ensure that I take time off work so that she has the time she needs to hang out with her girlfriends for out of town or overnight trips. We also plan for a long trip, and 1 or two short trips together during the year, and regular date nights. I am gone for work at least 1 weekend a month and then a couple weeks in the summer, so I ensure that she gets the support and time she needs when I get home (help with the kids so she can go shopping/ see a film, get a massage/hair/nails, etc.). I plan my hunting out a year in advance so it does not conflict with my wife's schedule, my parenting plan with my ex, or my work schedule. We have shared calendars that show our comings and goings/plans etc. I also continually bring it up during our check-ins so that it's not a surprise. And you know what? Sometimes our best laid plans don't jive and we have to talk through it and compromise. There has been times where she told me I'm gone too long/often and its derailed some plans I had made. If I am unsuccessful in a draw or a trip falls through, that just means I get to spend that time with her and the kids and maybe we can go on another family trip, and I reap those rewards.
I will say this, the partnership and collaboration in planning make the alone trips so much more fulfilling. There is no resentment between us when I'm gone on a work trip or hunting trip, because we laid the ground work in advance. We can share in each others joys, triumphs, and experiences because we put in the work together, even if we are apart.
 
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Dmoua

Lil-Rokslider
Joined
Jun 6, 2023
Messages
173
I have an awesome wife that lets me do what I want. Being out in the woods makes me happy and she's all for it. That being said, I take care of chores in and around the house and make sure things are in order before I leave.
 
Joined
Dec 20, 2016
Messages
40
Location
Nampa, ID
Some really great feedback on this thread. I think every young man thinking of getting married should read through these. As many others have mentioned communication is key. Start by being open and honest and setting expectations early. I told my now wife, in the very beginning how passionate I was about hunting and shed hunting and that I dedicate a lot of time and money to it every year and that I would continue to do so in the future. If she ever had a problem with that it would cause issues in our relationship and she should not date me. She agreed and stayed with me. We have two kiddos and have been together 6 years now. We spend a lot of time together as a family all year and I try to plan a couple hunts as a family every year for quality outdoor time together. But I also spend 2-4 weeks a year on hunts with my hunting partners or solo depending on tags drawn. My wife never has a problem with it as long as we’ve discussed the dates and it’s on her calendar. I totally respect that and anytime I get the “hey wanna go do this!” Last minute call from buddies I simply say let me check the calendar. I ask the wife and if I’m already penciled in for something with the family I’m out. It’s a mutual respect and she’s never once made me feel guilty for the time or money I spend on hunting because I set the precedent early and she knows it’s therapeutic for me to get out of the house and into the outdoors. As others have mentioned I don’t “ask” permission, we sit down together with the calendar and plan together. I have buddies that married women that dictate their hunting schedules and they have to “ask” to go hunt and their miserable and end up resenting their spouse. It creates a toxic situation in my opinion. Communicate and respect each other, be sure to give your spouse breaks from the kiddos and the house to do the things they love as well and you’ll never have issues.
 

Swamp Fox

WKR
Joined
Oct 20, 2022
Messages
855
So how much time can you get out hunting before your wife/husband/whatever starts to put their foot down? Scenario: I was able to head out to Montana for 11 days, I'd originally planned for 2 weeks but decided to leave on a Monday and get back on a Friday so I only missed one weekend with the family, it was also my sons first day of school so I stayed to see him off. Everything worked out great, made it home, no issues, now I'm treading lightly and trying to get a read on if I dare push it for 5-6 days of rifle elk in October, or if I stick to hunting white tails on the weekends with a few odd days off and take 5-6 days for Mule deer in Mid November. I can't complain, my Spidey senses are telling my rifle elk might put a strain on things, but I know she'll be cool with my other shenanigans (relatively speaking). So I guess what I'm saying is I seem to be able to push one longer trip, one 5-6 day trip and a bunch of at home hunting before I end up in the dog house (On a busy year when I can pull the tags) How much can you get out and how do you keep the home fires burning? I'm sure a week somewhere warm is going to be on the docket this winter, and it looks like a craft show and a bunch of stuff around the house are in my future tomorrow, once I build some equity back up I'll be hitting the woods to check cameras.
 

PineBrook413

WKR
Shoot2HuntU
Joined
Nov 26, 2020
Messages
625
Location
Northeast
I end up doing 2 western hunts a year. First couple years headed out west to hunt caused a little tension with the wife. We have 2 young kids and we both work so when I'm gone it puts bunch more burden on her.

These days its not much stress to do two trips around 7-14 days each. I try to so some at home whitetail hunting back east here too but often I'm so damn busy with work I don't get much time in the last few years.
 
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