How much hunting does your wife let you get by with?

[Oregon]

I hunt or fish around 300 days a year.
After 28 years her only request is that I call at least an hour before I'm due back to the house. Still haven't figured out why.

 

[Wrench]

I cringe when I hear stories like this. The "dog house"?? This infers one person in the relationship feels superior to the other, and demands obedience.
I have a cousin, who for many years was like a brother to me. We hunted, fished, scouted, camped-you name it. One day he meets a woman, then gets married. His love for the outdoors has been murdered. I have so many friends that live a similar life. They say stuff like "Let me catch her in a good mood", or "If I get this honey do list done, maybe".
It's truly sad, because it's not a healthy model for marriage success. In my humble opinion, being married is a partnership, one with support, patience and understanding. My passions are 100% supported and encouraged by my wife, just the same as I do for her passions. Yes, these passions are secondary to being parents, raising kids and putting them first, but they are still very important in a marriage. Make no mistake-I have 3 kids, they play sports, have friends and I am there for almost all of it-all the while working overseas. It can be done.
I would suggest having a conversation with your wife, and be prepared with talking points that counter, or show the other side of what you say would make you "tread lightly" and maybe show your year round work as a father and husband are very deserving of time to pursue your passions.
One other bonus is, time apart is the true way to "keep the fire burning" as you say.
I am sharing this, not to dump on you or poke fun. I lost my hunting buddy and it is sad. Hope this can help you.

100%. I have told her I will hang it up whenever she asks me to. I only asked that if she does so that she get a second job.....because I will take up drinking and drugs.....not in spite but to replace the highs and lows experienced on the mountain.

 

[WV Mountaineer]

I’m saying this from a position that my wife and family understand. It goes like this. God, family, country, and myself. That’s my priorities in order of importance. If I follow that direction, everything has its place and allotted time. No need to tweek it. It does the perfect job of ensuring I fill my responsibilities to everyone accordingly.


My wife doesn’t dictate the time I spend hunting. Just like I don’t dictate all the time she spends doing the things she is passionate about. I can’t imagine a loving marriage being any different. Nor, could I imagine anyone being married that doesn’t look at it like that.

Life is short. Way short. So short I’m not going to spend one minute with a person who tries to dictate how much of it they think I deserve to enjoy pursuing a passion that requires the time and investment of 1/100ths of my life on this planet.

Any man or women who doesn’t let their spouse enjoy life isn’t much of a spouse. My wife and I are of the same thought process on this. If we weren’t, we wouldn’t be married.

 

[WV Mountaineer]

As much as I want. It’s my job, not my wife that limits my time.

This

 

[streetdoctor]

Marriage is a compromise. Some of you have never learned that. Marry your best friend and aside from adult obligations you really don't have to.

 

[bohntr]

Ha, since retiring my wife hunts/scouts/fish the same amount of time as I do……guess I’m fortunate in that area.

 

[Decker9]

We’re a family jam, hunt together for the most part, she shoots better then I do anyway.

 

[KenLee]

We’re a family jam, hunt together for the most part, she shoots better then I do anyway.

They usually do, which is a consideration when you piss her off.

 

[CoStick]

I don’t have a limit but spend more time on scuba trips than hunting. Really comes down to our family calendar and communication.

 

[Monotone Matt]

My wife encourages me to hunt as much as possible because she knows that makes me happy. I know how lucky I am to have this kind of relationship so I don’t abuse it. I used to scout or hunt probably 50-75 days out of the year, plus be gone for work about 90 days. Now we have a new baby and it looks like that might take a little bit of a hit, but I don’t mind. It definitely helps that she hunts too, and loves eating deer and elk!

 

[jdmaxwell]

My wife hunts anytime I'm hunting.
DIY Elk, Caribou, Bear, Deer, Waterfowl, Small game, Trapping, doesn't matter..
Choose wisely Life is so Great..

 

[hunterjmj]

I never ask permission to go anywhere. She's not my mom. I do say what/where I'm going. She doesn't have to ask permission to go Target either. We antelope hunt as a family for 3 days every year and that'll probably include deer/elk once our kids are older.

 

[Poser]

At a minimum, you need to change the language you use to promote a different thought process. Using terms and phrases such as “let you hunt” “doghouse etc” suggests that you are like a child to your wife and subject to her rule. While my observation in life is once this dynamic sets in, there’s no way back out of it without divorce and some tough years, you seem to have played into this role of the bumbling husband who’s wife has to keep you in check vs being a man she respects and looks to for leadership and guidance. I don’t see this as an insult, just as an observation. Reread your own post.

You need to look inwards and do some gut checking here as your vocabulary is very telling and I’m not the only one on this thread that recognizes that.

 

[GSPHUNTER]

As I mentioned in previous post, We talked about my many trips during hunting and fishing seasons. But I also told her if there is something she wants to do, just let me know ahead of time and I'll work around it, unless it involves her sister, then I'll find any excuse to not be there.

 

[wind gypsy]

Everyone’s situation is different. How many kids are at home, what their needs are, what your wife’s other commitments are, etc all play a big part in what’s reasonable. There are some Dads/Husbands who could give a shit less what situation they put their wife and kids in to get out hunting as they want - I try not to be one of them. On the flip side, there are some wives who could give a shit less about their husbands having time to live out their passion if it means they have to pull a little more weight for a while - I’m glad I didn’t marry a woman like that.

 

[InkedElkSlayer]

Time away is all about perspective.
I’ve been with my wife over 25yrs. Due to my profession, the LEAST I’ve been away from home in a year is around 100 days. What she decided very early on, was that if she was ever going to see me… then she was going to go in the woods with me when I was home. We have had numerous trips together over the years in a wall tent or spike camp.
I have, and always will, hunt plenty of days solo or with my buddy. But now, because of her decision, I hunt/hike many, many days a year with her and/or my boys. She understands my work, she understands my time off.
It’s another subject, but I guarantee you that BOTH of my boys are avid outdoorsman because of my wife, not me. It’s what WE do. It’s not, dad is gone again and mom is bitching about it. Most kids choose a side in that scenario.

 

[wytx]

We hunt together mostly. This morning I'm sitting here having coffee while the spouse is out hunting whitetails.
Most trips we go together and if I don't have a tag I run camp and help how I can, glassing, packing meat or keeping the stove going and having a hot meal ready.
Marriage is a partnership and obviously some don't get that, best of luck .

 

[Theringworm]

I’m saying this from a position that my wife and family understand. It goes like this. God, family, country, and myself. That’s my priorities in order of importance. If I follow that direction, everything has its place and allotted time. No need to tweek it. It does the perfect job of ensuring I fill my responsibilities to everyone accordingly.


My wife doesn’t dictate the time I spend hunting. Just like I don’t dictate all the time she spends doing the things she is passionate about. I can’t imagine a loving marriage being any different. Nor, could I imagine anyone being married that doesn’t look at it like that.

Life is short. Way short. So short I’m not going to spend one minute with a person who tries to dictate how much of it they think I deserve to enjoy pursuing a passion that requires the time and investment of 1/100ths of my life on this planet.

Any man or women who doesn’t let their spouse enjoy life isn’t much of a spouse. My wife and I are of the same thought process on this. If we weren’t, we wouldn’t be married.

Very well said sir! If you are having to ask yourself this question or have concerns then your communication with your spouse is not what it should be. I know exactly where my spouse stands with me and I with her regarding our individual activities. I have the most amazing wife ever.
She was 9 months pregnant and expecting our first child any day…… I was 800 miles away elk hunting in Colorado. 3 months earlier when she was 6 months pregnant we were both hiking remote mountain creeks at 10,000 ft in the mountains of Colorado trout fishing. She does what she wants when she wants and I the same. There is always a conversation and if there is a conflict or concern it gets discussed. We are equals. I don’t rule her nor her me. I respect her and her time. She gets her time away as much as I do. Time at home managing the kids is not “personal time“ for her. That’s the biggest issue I see with my friends and their spouses. It’s a full time job being a stay at home mom raising kids. She needs a vacation from that just like a need a vacation from work.…… and sometimes them also Lol.

 

[ewade07]

I let my fiance know upfront about my passions. We have been together for 4 years now. The first one was a little rough as we were long distance but once we were both in the same place im pretty much free to do as i see fit. She understands my love for the outdoors. Between shed hunting in the spring, summer fishing trips and fall big game i would say im out around 30 nights. Throw in other trips where im just out for the day by myself or with the dogs and you can add quite a few more to the total. She goes on her trips and i go on mine. Theres an understanding between us that we both have our separate hobbies. I do take time from January to February to take a trip somewhere warm with her and do some trips she likes to do. She recently expressed some interest in pheasant hunting as well so thats got me pretty excited!

 

[Blandry]

Let me just say this.. after being married a few times.. IF your wife can't live w/o you and not cheat for a few MONTHS... you need a different wife