I was raised Catholic (every other weekend) and hated every sense of it, albeit from the influence of unruly neighbor kids and a Free Mason step-father. However, I have done things I still regret and am ashamed of, morally, in my younger years and having a lack of an example growing up. No, I don't blame my parents. I have been through some tough times, emotionally and spiritually. I have questioned the very things aforementioned in this thread. I don't doubt the findings in science as they support my beliefs. I am drawn to philosophy but distrust its attempt at invoking doubt in my brain, religiously, as I try to only read what has an imprimatur and nahil obstat. I feel similar questions but I never doubt, any more. I completely trust in God through the bible and the institution of the Roman catholic church. This is my choice and I recognize and respect everyone's views. I have several atheist and agnostic friends which, as a level of maturity, we have an understanding of each other and respect each other's passion both ways. We have had some interesting conversations but I spend too much time on here and reading about trapping techniques instead of apologetics because I am not one to preach.
I underwent a transformation about the time my son was conceived and it was not a conscience decision on my part. I was afraid that I would lose my edge. It had the opposite effect. My friends seem to look up to me (or secretly laugh at me
) regarding it. I think we all have our role amongst each other and mine has something to do with dealing with the more callous individuals but I am not sure what it is exactly. I am very structured and since I trust in what I call black and white (dogma), I find that void filled without the need for debate nor interpretation. My apprenticeship instructor remembers me from ten years ago being a pain in the ass because I wanted my answers verbatim upon correcting homework so that I didn't study my own 'interpretation' of the answer, even though there are more than one ways to skin a cat'.
I could also go down the road of how this ties into politics as I have been in the IBEW union since '97 but live conservatively. We can leave that road to another thread.
To get back to the thread intention... On my first western elk hunt I had also done a bear hunt just previously in the year without success and was getting quite down. I was going through a nasty divorce and falsely accused of all kinds of terrible things. I was at a low in my life. On about day 7 of my rifle hunt I killed a nice 7x7 bull, the first elk I saw. As I was back in camp I upended my pack to get it lighter for hauling meat. I dumped its contents on the ground and took all of the items into the outfitter tent and threw them on my cot. I gathered my snacks, bladder, GPS and a few other things. As the rest of the guys were getting ready to help me I looked on the ground at something shiny. It was a Miraculous Medal that my grandmother gave me right before she died. It has been with me ever since then. I made a necklace out of 550 cord with an open double fisherman's knot. I just took it off last night as it was beginning to fall apart. The outer sheath was worn through and the 7 inner strands were showing on most of it. The back side of the medal is now smooth and most of the silver coating has given way to a dull, mat gray finish. I was going to try to get it re-coated but I think that it is time to retire it since the ring on top is almost worn through. I now carry instructions on how to pray the rosary (as I don't do it enough like I feel I should to memorize it) and a rosary. I found a lady at work that is very catholic and is making steps with me towards printing and donating instructions for troops overseas with tactical, waterproof paper.
I hope I don't offend anyone on here with this post, or any for that matter.
