How do you deal with family and their thoughts on hunting

[Travis Bertrand]

Over the years as my hunting has evolved from riding around shotgun with my old man and uncle from age 5, to packing in multiple miles to kill an animal, we have grown apart.

Part of that is due to our thought processes, they use the same rifle they have had since 1975 with a leupold scope which they swear is the best on the market along with their 1980s cabelas packs . (Nothing wrong with that), while I'm like many of the guys on this forum with using the best gear I can afford.

Whenever we talk hunting, it seems we always in the conversation on a sour note, whether we are talking about trail cams, rifles custom vs stock, hunting styles,hunting units, gear, ethics, size of deer, or anything for that matter. I don't think it's healthy because I have seen us grow apart partly because of these differences. They don't agree with my hunting style, gear choices, etc.

Our latest disagreement was over over using bushing dies for a hunting rifle, he doesn't think I should use them on a new project I'm working on where I want the rifle to be as accurate as I can. I don't think it should even come to this

My question is, how do you guys deal with family who don't agree with our use of technology, hunting styles, etc? Friends are easy to deal with this dilemma

 

[Backpack Hunter]

I don't argue with family over much when it comes to hunting. Honestly, I state what I am trying to get out of the hunt before hand and then go out and try to accomplish it. If they don't want to accomplish the same things they can go about doing it their way....and frankly they normally do.

For instance, recent backpack hunt in Colorado, out of state licenses for all, time off work, time away from immediate family, etc, etc. I wanted to "hit it" hard, get deep, and cover whatever ground I could to find elk. My brother wanted to hunt near camp, get up and into the country well after first light, and be back to the tents by dark. We both did our own thing, and met up most nights to discuss what we had seen, heard, etc. Worked well for us.

Gear discussions are usually kept to a minimum just because it doesn't interest the rest of my family that much. They like what they have been using, and don't see the need to spend money on cutting weight or bulk if they are only going out for a week or so a year.

 

[Shrek]

You are changing the dynamics of the established order and they are naturally resisting. Previously they had all the knowledge and you were guided and helped by them but now you have surpassed their skills and that threatens their sense of self and superiority. Most people resent and resist acknowleging that they have been passed by. Not going to be easy or pleasant redefining you family relationships. It has little to do with the actual hunting practices and everything to do with a power struggle in your relationship. Sorry , there is no easy fix other than to assert your personal confidence and never once back down so that they are forced to see you as a peer and not a lessor.

 

[DIY]

Shrek hit it perfect.... or should I say dr phil

 

[bigmoose]

I agree with DIY and Shrek. Their idea of hunting probably really differs from yours. Do you pass up bucks they would shoot ? I'm sure they think that you over think the hunt with all the modern (new) things we use on our hunts. Seems they're having a hard time with the way you like to hunt. Maybe they think you don't earn the animals the way they do without using all the hi-tech stuff. The hunt itself means something different to them. As an example, my Dad thinks that 4 wheelers are a motorized wheel chair and he's not sure that they're ethical. Old school. You guys should be able to camp together and let everyone do their own thing when hunting like Backpack Hunter.

I really sympathize with you because hunting really brings my family together. It's something we all look forward to each year. Some of my best family memories are in hunting camp.

 

[Ross]

I had to deal with this several decades ago and finally just had to branch out on my own. It just made things easier for all so there was no animosity and combative discussion. In the end it worked for all and was simply just philosophical differences about many things in elk hunting.

 

[DudeFromOhio]

Be glad you have someone to atleast talk hunting with. No one in my family hunts so 20 times a year I get "did you catch anything?"

 

[7mag.]

Be respectful but firm in your beliefs. Don't get sucked into an argument. You already know that you don't agree, so respectfully disagree and move on. By continuing to argue, you are causing yourself anguish that can be avoided. I have family members that are completely against hunting. I stand my ground, but I don't sink to their level and argue about it.

 

[edg1967]

Be glad you have someone to atleast talk hunting with. No one in my family hunts so 20 times a year I get "did you catch anything?"

I broke up with a girl in college because she asked me that after a grouse hunting trip.

 

[MuleyFever]

I passed all my family or SO's family in hunting knowledge and hunting philosophy if you will. I developed into a different hunter than anyone else I knew and still am more invested in hunting than anyone else I tend to socialize with (in person). For this reason I actively shy away from talking about hunting with anyone. Even when my dad wants to start talking about his hunting I just listen and don't say much. It kinda sucks but in the end there are plenty of other things to talk about other than hunting, especially the last few years since I moved away from all my family. I have had many times when my SO or someone will introduce me to someone and right away say they hunt too. I will quickly try to change the conversation. I enjoy reading forums and will give my .02 here and there but rarely get too involved. I guess I feel I am taking a lot from the forum I should give a few opinions back.

 

[tttoadman]

The people that look at us funny for buying $600 back packs are the same people who spend $2000 on custom wheels for their car so they can look cool.

Since my Dad is gone, there are only 4 of us in the family that hunt anymore. I am actually the old guy dragging them out in the woods further. I am very OCD about most everything I do. My wife suffers more than anybody else, so i try hard to keep it in check at home.

My brother and I are 46 and 47. We feel like we have about 10-15 yrs of hardcore hunting before we may not be able to do it anymore. I really don't concern myself too much with peoples opinions, and go hard after what I want to do. They are welcome to come along, but I am not waiting around for anybody.

 

[JG358]

My question is, how do you guys deal with family who don't agree with our use of technology, hunting styles, etc? Friends are easy to deal with this dilemma

Easiest way I found to not argue about stuff (thats not even worth arguing about) is to not discuss such things in the first. Problem solved, life is good.

 

[LJ Buck]

Just change the subject

 

[5MilesBack]

Nobody else in my family hunts, so they don't even know what I'm talking about IF I talk about it with them.

I'm kinda the lone ranger in my family. We grew up on a farm, and both my sisters are city slickers now......probably a reason for that. They didn't belong on the farm that's for sure. So it's not just hunting that we don't relate to........it's life in general.

 

[tony m]

I find serious hunting is better on your own anyways.No one to object to anything and all your annoying habits seem to evaporate.Cheers

 

[MOshorthair]

Maybe it's just me, but I think this is the problem that we face with hunting in general. We want verification that what we are doing is right vs. what others are doing. The hunting community fights among themselves all the time: traditional vs. compound, gun vs. bow, long range shooting vs. black powder. It's legal and it still gets the job done so more power to you.

My dad taught me to hunt he goes to the field in blue jeans and a blaze orange sweatshirt jacket and blaze orange hat that matches the one he bought me when I was 12 (I'm 44 now). He enjoys his time in the field so why would I want to get into an argument about the way he does it. When we go to deer camp I use the stuff that I bow hunt in and the conversation doesn't really focus on the technology of what I use more it focuses on the amount of money I spend to enjoy the hunting trip vs. the amount he has spent to enjoy the hunting trip. My dad is 82 and still goes to deer camp with us I don't want to lose that because of an argument over what I'm using, so I usually smile and enjoy the friendly exchange. We both use what we are comfortable with so I won't change him and he won't change me.

 

[Jason Snyder]

Easiest way I found to not argue about stuff (thats not even worth arguing about) is to not discuss such things in the first. Problem solved, life is good.

Just change the subject

Some very good advice right there. If it always leads to a disagreement, don't talk about it.

Who cares what anyone uses? I offer advice in an attempt to help others out, but I sure don't care enough about what they use that it needs to evolve into hard feelings. Look in the mirror too. Do you BOTH feel a compelling need to be right? Hell, I don't even know what a bushing die does differently than a regular die.

 

[Travis Bertrand]

Thanks for all the input. Especially rainman shrek. That came out of left field.

Let me clarify, it's not as much as an argument, it's more defending my actions, purchases. Why would you want a 338 edge? What is a 338 edge? Using trail cams isn't hunting. Goin in that far your meat is going to spoil.

You guys get the point.

 

[StrutNut]

Im in the same position you are in! Amazing, I want to improve and get the best gear, my pops, not so much. He likes the old stuff. Even when fishing he still likes bringing out the old metal rod for walleyes. Typically I could care less but then here comes all the stories about fishing Big Winnie back in the day. We all have been there. I too have had many conversations end on a sour note but we are family and I have learned to just let him do his deal. In some ways, some of those firearms are superior to what we have today. If you think about it, John Browning was a genius and developed guns way ahead of his time. There is still no modern equivalent to many of his designs to the point where the military still uses some of them today. I even went back to an old style Browning A5 for waterfowling. Now, here is where we are very much alike. I am in the market for a rifle and I seem to have the "need" for something that can get out there 1000 yards. I want a solid platform that I can modify if needed and spend money on the glass. He wants me to get an old Remington 700 with wood. I want an aftermarket stock or at least a very good composite. He thinks they are all just plastic junk and get a wood stock. He too has Leopold's on everything. The problem is he is my gun dealer and he is making things a bit difficult! Ughh... I should just buy the dang Rem and be done with it. He does have a old Winchester pre-64 bolt that looks fun as well but again, wood stocked and he wont sell it to me if I am going to put plastic on it. Stubborn old man! Well, actually I am just as stubborn so, well, you see the conflict.

 

[WyoBowhunter21]

I have the same issue with my dad, uncle, and grandpa. They all get mad when roads get closed and you have to walk in to go after game. It's the same argument every time. I believe some roads are good but with roads there are less game and more people. I personally like closed roads to walk up and see game and less people. I like to throw my pack on and just go with camp on my back. With my family, however, if it's not on a four wheeler with a cooler and lunch they don't want to go. I don't know how many elk and big bucks I passed up because they were too far from the four wheeler or truck. For me, during my first few years of college I actually quit hunting all together because of this. I was so tired of my beliefs being "wrong" but yet every year we never killed anything. So I took a few years off. I found myself longing for adventure again and met a buddy at school who did the same and I found rokslide. My buddy ended up moving to Colorado so now I never see him. He can't draw the places we hunt without a couple points. Then two years ago I had finally had it, again when I drew a coveted deer tag, my first ever deer tag. I saw the biggest buck of my entire life about five miles away. I lost count of points at 9x10. He was massive. It was between snow storms and I was making a game plan in my head. That's when my dad said lets not go after him. He is too far away. Well I pleased the old man cause I didn't want to argue. Next buck, 190" deer about 32" wide. He was 3 miles away on a beautiful sunny day. Just a couple hills between us. My dad says lets go down to this hill and you can try an 800 yard shot. At that point I hadn't practiced beyond 500. I new I could get close but he just wouldn't listen. Long story short I through my tag away because my dad spotted a deer and said he was a giant. His definition was a two point. I will never draw that tag again as this year the odds went down to nothing. Sadly now I don't know what to do. I like you, am not sure how to approach it anymore. Usually I just don't talk hunting.