How do you deal with family and their thoughts on hunting

[Craig Van Arsdale]

I pretty much just do my own thing now days. I only hunt with a few people because I know they are on the same page as me. As far as gear and hunting methods I just listen mostly if they ask what I'm doing I tell but otherwise I know they are not going to agree with what I'm doing or understand it.

 

[Ray]

You are changing the dynamics of the established order and they are naturally resisting. Previously they had all the knowledge and you were guided and helped by them but now you have surpassed their skills and that threatens their sense of self and superiority. Most people resent and resist acknowleging that they have been passed by. Not going to be easy or pleasant redefining you family relationships. It has little to do with the actual hunting practices and everything to do with a power struggle in your relationship. Sorry , there is no easy fix other than to assert your personal confidence and never once back down so that they are forced to see you as a peer and not a lessor.

The only thing to add to what Shrek stated is that you are doing things Dr Horsepower that indicate in their minds that they are wrong in some way. When someone gets the idea that they are wrong they will start telling other people that they are the ones that are wrong. It happens in the subconscience and its not done with malice, but some can act with malice in defense of their indefensable wrongness. Its just the way some folks handle being judged by themselves to be wrong.

Q: Why would you want a 338 Edge?
A: Because you want head out to the Black Rock and blow the heads off jack rabbits at 1000 yards during Burning Man. The blood splatters in the alkali dust are going to be your art installation titled "The Remains from the Edge in No Where"

 

[2ski]

Some very good advice right there. If it always leads to a disagreement, don't talk about it.

Who cares what anyone uses? I offer advice in an attempt to help others out, but I sure don't care enough about what they use that it needs to evolve into hard feelings. Look in the mirror too. Do you BOTH feel a compelling need to be right? Hell, I don't even know what a bushing die does differently than a regular die.

Good advice. Make sure you don't come across as a know it all. I'm not saying you are, just something to think about. Who brought it up? Why are you guys talking about bushing dies? Did someone bring it up to start an argument or did it come up in casual conversation? I guess there's so much about hunting you could talk about...telling stories ect., why waste your time arguing about the minutae. You feel the need to use them, he doesn't. Ok, move on. Really why argue over it? If you know something is going to cause an argument, why bring it up? If he's bringing it up, see Shrek's answer. If you're bringing it up, what are you trying to prove by bringing up something you know will cause an argument? Showing him that you know more? I don't know your circumstances, so its tough to really delve into without knowing too much.

 

[2rocky]

Well you know they are going to be verbally combative if you get into that discussion so avoid it.

That is the situation I get in at the archery club with the Trad bow shooters. I respect their craft, but I can out shoot 'em at any distance.

I just tell them is a self-deprecating manner that I don't have the emotional maturity to shoot a stick bow.

One of them prodded me to shoot a 20# recurve at a hog target. Wouldn't let up. So I shot it and nailed the 10 ring at 20 yards. Lucky shot all the way...He doesn't prod me any more.

 

[Tuffy]

It's the same ol' story, Compound bow Vs. Recurve, Hawkins style Vs. In-Line muzzle loader, 7mm Vs. 30-30, Spot and stalk Vs. Tree Stand. Each generation has their "Prefered" way of doing things, and it seems their way is the right way... to them. But if there were not an ongoing evolution to our sport we'd all be hunting with Spears and Rocks.

The first 'Bow season" was intended to be hunted with a Long Bow or Recurve, then somebody "cheated" by inventing a Compound bow with sights.

The first "Muzzle Loader season" was intended for original style smokepoles shooting patched round balls, then somebody "cheated" and invented an In-line muzzle loader with a scope.

The fact is, is that our sport is continually changing, and if you don't change with it, you're going to be left in the dust.

I am sixty one years of age and I am a measurer for California Bowmen Hunters. I have measured quite a few animals, and have heard the story from each of the hunters. A few have quite honestly stumbled into a nice animal and harvested it, but there are guys that I measure their animals on a consistent basis. One guy I measured two bucks that he got from the same treestand a half hour apart from one another, these were huge bucks. The following year he got an even bigger one! This guy kills big deer consistently. After hearing his stories, he hunts WAY smarter not harder. He does his homework by knocking on a lot of doors, placing out a bunch of game cameras, hanging a few treestands and brushing in some blinds.

In the mean time I'm hunting the way I always have, putting a bunch of boot tracks on the real estate... I feel like I got passed by, and went from a good hunter to a mediocre hunter... I resisted change... I could continue to resist and have the same ol' results or I can open my mind and hunt smarter, and join the more successful hunters.

 

[2ski]

There is definitely a philosophical question of "at what point do we use to much technology for hunting and fishing?" To each their own as long as they keep it respectful discourse.

 

[KHNC]

Its a good thing your dads and families took yall hunting over the years and you evolved the way you did. I have two teenagers that have hunted with me since they were 4 years old. Now at 13 and 15 , it seems they are losing interest extremely fast. We have all heard the stories im sure. However, its seems to me that its more than likely I will grow old hunting by myself while my kids do other hobbies in life. At least yall still hunt or talk hunting with your dads. Too early to tell, but that is my fear at this point.

 

[1hoda]

Drhorsepower,

Like you I grew up with my family hunting, fishing, and enjoying the outdoors. As much as anything, that has defined my life and how I live it. After I moved away from home, I learned to appreciate new twists on that common bond with my family. While it was never a problem with my family, I always focused on the positive and common aspects of the hunt. While my Dad is long gone, my brother and I don't hunt together as much as I'd like and we look for different things, we still share that strong bond. We find things in common outdoors to talk about. To some extent we relive the past and times we shared together and talk about what we've recently learned and how things have changed since we were kids.

Out of respect for the older folks who took the time to take me outdoors, teach me, and show interest in me I owe them a great deal of respect and gratitude for what a great gift they gave me. Without their investment in me I might have become a golfer and what a downgrade that would have been! So deferring to them, I never let any differences stand between us, especially as my interests evolved over the years. They gave me the foundation for a sporting life, and that's all that matters.

I have a teenage son at home who loves to hunt and fish. I have no illusion that he will enjoy the same things I do in the same way. I've tried to give him the same foundation of a sporting life I was given and from there he'll figure out where he wants to go with it. I'm just happy to have been a part of passing it along. So if the day ever comes when we have different views on the outdoors, I hope I can remember the big picture of what the outdoors have meant to generations of our family, the close bonds it has created for all of us, the precious time spent with my son, and finally that we all find satisfaction in different aspects of our sport.

Good luck with your family!

 

[Forestryguy]

Be glad you have someone to atleast talk hunting with. No one in my family hunts so 20 times a year I get "did you catch anything?"

I know how that is, or asking what season it is in July.

 

[rayporter]

what season is july?




prairie dog


what can i say? its cold out and i am stuck here cause of the ice.

 

[Vector32]

I go threw kinda the same thing. My dad is pretty old school when it comes to hunting. I started bow hunting and he stayed hunting with a rifle. So it's worked out ok. I can go archery with my friends that want to hunt like I do. Then I tag along with him when I can as he rifle hunts. It's the best of both worlds because I still get to spend time with him but I still get to hunt the way I like too. If you are not having fun out there then you are doing something wrong.

 

[AZ Vince]

Maybe it's just me, but I think this is the problem that we face with hunting in general. We want verification that what we are doing is right vs. what others are doing. The hunting community fights among themselves all the time: traditional vs. compound, gun vs. bow, long range shooting vs. black powder. It's legal and it still gets the job done so more power to you.

My dad taught me to hunt he goes to the field in blue jeans and a blaze orange sweatshirt jacket and blaze orange hat that matches the one he bought me when I was 12 (I'm 44 now). He enjoys his time in the field so why would I want to get into an argument about the way he does it. When we go to deer camp I use the stuff that I bow hunt in and the conversation doesn't really focus on the technology of what I use more it focuses on the amount of money I spend to enjoy the hunting trip vs. the amount he has spent to enjoy the hunting trip. My dad is 82 and still goes to deer camp with us I don't want to lose that because of an argument over what I'm using, so I usually smile and enjoy the friendly exchange. We both use what we are comfortable with so I won't change him and he won't change me.

Outstanding post that shows a love and respect for your father.
I wish my pops was still around. As for family, we don't discuss it much but they sure don't mind eating what I cook when I'm making a wild game dish.

 

[boom]

tell them you love them and move on.

my wife once told me.."why do you always need to be right?"
it stung. growing up with my argumentative older sister programed me to go for the jugular in debates. it aint healthy. everyone is entitled to their opinions..even if it is stupid.

just listen and nod. you dont have to engage all the time.

 

[luke moffat]

Lots of good conversation and thoughts on this certainly.

I grew up with a family that never bought beef unless it was the occasional burger from Mickey Ds when we went to "town". Otherwise it was always moose or caribou. My dad hunted cause it was much cheaper than buying beef and it was readily available and I think he also enjoyed it. That said if we couldn't drive a wheeler to the kill site of a moose or caribou then he wasn't that keen on killing it (still semi feel this way about moose ).

Thus we never did any backpack hunting. The first time I backpack hunted my dad dropped my bro and I off at a trail head 15 miles south of town when I was 15 and he was 13 for 5 days. Wheelered in 10 miles and then saw some caribou up in sheep country and hiked up and he shot a little dink caribou. After we packed it off the mountain later that day I was able to take a decent sized bull up on a different mountain. We got a hold of him on the cell phone a couple days later finally to let him know we were ok and would be coming out with some meat and needed a pick up at the road. He asked where we got the caribou and we told him he just shook his head. He thought we were nuts for killing them way up there.

Flash forward 15 years, now I have him taken him on 2 different mountain goat hunts both of which he has harvested mountain goats on. While he would never purchase the nice lightweight gear, like comfy packs, good hiking boots, tipis and woodstoves, quilts and lightweight sleeping pads, he can now certainly see the value in it all and why I own it for what I like to do.

Its hard to understand why certain things are so nice to have (yes still items you don't HAVE to get to be successful). For example this fall on our goat hunt, the first night we spiked out (the night before he shot his goat), we set up the tipi and I pulled out a NEO air and a 10 degree quilt and he admitted he was skeptical if he'd be warm with this skimpy pad, and super light "bag", in this drafty tipi. Well two minutes after he crawled in and started to warm up he exclaimed "surprisingly comfortable!".

Its all about perspective and you don't know what you don't know until you experience how nice some items can by and how fun backpack hunting can be. So while he still wouldn't ever purchase many of these items for himself he now appreciates them and I am glad I have enough extra good gear to keep him comfy enough to climb the mountains with me and help pack his critters off the hill as well! So while we would likely differ on if the gear is "worth it", he can see why I buy a lot of it after spending some time backpack hunting with me.

Here he is "surprisingly comfortable", first night in a quilt.


Putting the sneak on the goat, you can see the white dot on the center of the mountain:

Packing out his goat back to basecamp!! Lots of good memories made


A couple drowned rats packing his 2009 goat off the mountain!!! Soaked to the bone!! Hardest I have ever seen it rain while out hunting.


Basically I don't get too opinionated and if they are not willing to try the style of hunting you want, then I do my best to not talk about that with folks and focus and listen to their type of hunting and talk about that. Not worth wrecking a good thing and I enjoy talking all sorts of hunting and being outdoors. Just cause someone doesn't share my hobbies 100% doesn't me we can't have fun talking about other hobbies as well.

Long story I know.....sorry bout that

Oh yeah and my mom is a HUGE fan of the 12 man tipi and the woodstove when taking it to caribou camp.

 

[BRobertson]

Luke,

It looks like great fun with your Dad!!
You will always treasure trips like that, especially as you get older!!

Thanks for posting stories like this, and the photos!

Bob

 

[wapitibob]

Due to attrition (death) I'm the alpha male. Be thankful you have some bull headed old fart to argue with. Make the most of it.

 

[charvey9]

I know what you are saying. My dad and I have developed different styles for sure, but still talk about hunting a lot. Fortunately it never really ends sour, just him not quite understanding how I choose to hunt and why I resist doing it the easy way. I'm hardcore bow hunter, and he competes in open f-class 1000 yard in his spare time....so its like being on two different planets. Usually it ends in one of us shaking our head at the other in disbelief.

Be fortunate that you at least still share the hunting lifestyle with your family. It gets much tough when you have non-hunting or anti-hunting members in the family. In the 10 years I've known my wife, she grown more and more fond of all 4 legged creatures. Although she had never hunted when I met her, she grew up on a ranch and always had hunters in the immediate family. Somewhere along the way she transitioned into a tree hugger. She is now borderline vegetarian, and the only thing I have on my side is that she still eats meat on occasion and completely disagrees with the way animals are treated in commercial farming operations. Acquiring organic meat is the lesser evil, thus hunting is kind of OK. However, she still rarely...if ever....eats anything I've killed because she has "seen it dead" and absolutely won't eat anything with paws. Go figure. I can't talk much about hunting, taxidermy is always an argument, but in a lot of ways I am still really lucky that she tolerates me spending about 90% of my free time on some hunting related activity.

 

[William Hanson (live2hunt)]

I'm willing to help with whatever knowledge I have if someone is genuinely looking for it, other than that anything I say tends to come out as elitist towards anyone that doesn't have a similar mindset. My dad doesn't hunt so we don't really talk about it. Others in my family do hunt but not with the same zeal and I come off as a dick to them when discussions come up because I apparently take it "too serious" and am willing to invest more effort than stumbling into the woods opening morning with no real plan. I find it best to just smile and not contradict them when they talk about how accurate their $3 Walmart arrows are, that are under spined and 3" too long, or that a ww2 era Swedish Mauser is not accurate to 5 miles.

 

[sdr]

I can't wait to be a grumpy old fart so I can tell my son and grandson they don't know what the hell they are talking about. My wool and down will still be better than their new nano platinum clothes. My 300 mag will be always be better than the new .2615 going 4200fps. I am already pretty set in my ways so another 30 years and 150 species should really make me difficult to have a reasonable discussion with.