Getting Married and Hunting

[Becca]

Some great advice in this thread, and also some really awful advice. I’ll leave it to you to sort it out. While it isn’t for everyone, if she enjoys hunting and the outdoors you can do a lot to foster that by buying her decent gear and working hard to ensure she has a good time when you are out together. One major benefit of going together at least some of the time is that it becomes time together to be cherished as opposed to time apart which may potentially cause resentment or at least be at a premium. She will also have a better appreciation for the time, money and effort involved if she’s gone along. My husband Luke and I wrote an article awhile back about some of the factors that encouraged me to take up hunting, and eventually to become his primary hunting partner. I’ll see if I can dig up the link.

Regarding kids, they are absolutely a game changer but don’t have to be the end of your hunting career, especially if you prioritize going as a family. At 2 years old, our daughter has over 120 nights in a tent and is happiest when she’s “outside!!!” We’ve taken her along for successful moose, caribou, black bear and deer hunts already, and will take her for Kodiak brown bear next month. It’s a lot more work, but it’s also so rewarding. In retrospect I wish we’d done even more before she started walking, (tiny babies are really very portable) as she’s getting awfully heavy for me to carry these days. Being committed to going as a family means more days in the field for all of us.

 

[bz_711]

It's not the wife,,,,,,,its the kids.

Agreed...it's the 4 kids football, soccer, basketball, cross country, band, chorus, dance, running club, Karate, guitar lessons, piano lessons...and hey, no other parents will coach so will you, sure why not?

All worth it...and I still manage a week away to chase elk out west each year...I have just given up sleeping, that's it

 

[gvsugod]

I want to hear your experiences and advice/tips to navigate a hobby requiring much time and financial commitment while starting a life together.

Congrats first of all. I have been married for 6.5 years. With my wife for almost 12 now I think. Anyway, it may sound rough but when we first started dating I just told her that here in MI Oct 1-Jan 1 is deer season. If I wasnt in college, or working I was hunting. Same for turkey season in May. She was cool with it, despite her not being a hunter, or ever been around a hunter.

When we first started dating she didnt want to be around dead deer because they reminded her of her horses growing up. Now she is my best deboner. She debones and packages all my meat like a champ. Just give her a bottle of wine a sharp knife and let her go.

 

[boom]

You cleared the FIRST hurdle already! Your wedding anniversary isn’t (and forever won’t be) on a big hunting milestone. WIN!

You dont want to have some annual argument about elk season opener VS your anniversary “till death do you part”.

Be realistic. I did lose some freedoms to hunting getting married. I got over it quickly. My wife has put together a sizable nest-egg which will allow me to retire way earlier than expected. Passing on a few hunts was an acceptable loss. Pick your battles.

I buy way less gear, and focus my money towards actual hunts now.

 

[hodgeman]

I've been married 25 years now. Wouldn't change a thing.

She's not much of a hunter, she goes with me at times but is also happy to let me go do my thing. She told her mom who complained about how much time and money I spent on hunting- "It keeps him sane and I'd rather he spend money on guns and chasing critters than blow it on booze and chasing whores."

 

[16Bore]

Put God first, then your wife, then your family, then your work.

If you’re worried about how marriage will affect your hunting, your priorities are already out of line.

 

[McCree]

From my experience she will accompany you to either hunt or video until you have kids then she will be home with them. If you're lucky enough to have a child or children that share your passion then she may rejoin you later in life when the kids participate.

 

[tdhanses]

Marriage isn’t hard, marriage with kids is hard. I almost made it 10 years, currently going through the divorce process. All I can say is good luck.

 

[16Bore]

Marriage isn’t hard, marriage with kids is hard. I almost made it 10 years, currently going through the divorce process. All I can say is good luck.

And good luck to you. Been there.


You’re not the man you were when you got married, and she’s not the woman she was.

My advice is to never speak ill of her in front of or to your kids. Don’t let the kids be pawns. Don’t let them hate the other parent.

Your ex wife is now your business partner in raising your. If either of you remarry, that person needs to be on the same page.

My kids have a “step dad”. I consider him my assistant. He wrote me a letter before they got married and said he never intends to replace me but would be there for my girls to raise them into the young ladies that her mother and I want.

He’s a good dude and good for her. They are very happy together and I don’t lose any sleep wondering how my kids are.

My ex and I made our choices and mistakes. Keep the past where it belongs.


I’m not making assumptions for your situation, just sharing my story and passing along advice to anyone going through it or who has a friend going through it.

 

[16Bore]

And I’ll add 50/50 custody and keep visitation as even as possible...soley for the stability of the kids. DO NOT KEEP SCORE COUNTING DAYS.

 

[tdhanses]

And good luck to you. Been there.


You’re not the man you were when you got married, and she’s not the woman she was.

My advice is to never speak ill of her in front of or to your kids. Don’t let the kids be pawns. Don’t let them hate the other parent.

Your ex wife is now your business partner in raising your. If either of you remarry, that person needs to be on the same page.

My kids have a “step dad”. I consider him my assistant. He wrote me a letter before they got married and said he never intends to replace me but would be there for my girls to raise them into the young ladies that her mother and I want.

He’s a good dude and good for her. They are very happy together and I don’t lose any sleep wondering how my kids are.

My ex and I made our choices and mistakes. Keep the past where it belongs.


I’m not making assumptions for your situation, just sharing my story and passing along advice to anyone going through it or who has a friend going through it.

Thanks, I feel blessed that while we are getting a divorce it has been a very “adult” process for lack of a better term. So not to be a downer to the op, it is a happy time for him.

 

[Thunder head]

I've been married 25 years now. Wouldn't change a thing.

She's not much of a hunter, she goes with me at times but is also happy to let me go do my thing. She told her mom who complained about how much time and money I spent on hunting- "It keeps him sane and I'd rather he spend money on guns and chasing critters than blow it on booze and chasing whores."

Yep,
My wife has had people say the same thing to her.

Her reply is always. At least his hobby is not drinking and chasing other women.

 

[16Bore]

Thanks, I feel blessed that while we are getting a divorce it has been a very “adult” process for lack of a better term. So not to be a downer to the op, it is a happy time for him.

Make sure all options are exhausted for reconciliation. Watch the movie “Fireproof”.

OP, I suggest you watch it too....

Not trying to be a downer, but marriage is a serious lifelong commitment. My parents started dating when they were 14 and are now pushing 80. Still as happy, and even with them as role models, I blew it.

It’s not easy for sure....

 

[robby denning]

I'm a Christian so all I can do is point you to what's working for me: "But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things shall be added to you." Mattthew 6:33

Jodi is definitely first above hunting, as much as one sinner can keep her there. The "things" include hunting.

18 happy years and many more to come.

 

[elkyinzer]

Communication and respect are probably two of the bedrocks.

I love my wife and I love that my wife does not hunt. All due respect to all the women hunters but I'm the type of person I need my alone time and I need my time with the guys too.

My wife is a saint. She lets me get away with an awful lot. I wasn't reined in much at all hunting wise, until kid #2 arrived. Two under two was rough. I knew better than to push the boundaries too much, it would be shitty of me to just take off for days at a time in those circumstances. I still got some pushback at times.

 

[nrh6.7]

Watch the movie “Fireproof”.

Great movie, watched it this week.

 

[bridgermgmt]

I'm getting married this summer, August 10th. I may be getting "tied down", but I'm pretty darn excited about it!

I want to hear your experiences and advice/tips to navigate a hobby requiring much time and financial commitment while starting a life together.
She isn't a hunter, but loves to hike and camp and be outside. So, I can double dip on a summer scouting trip and getting backpacking gear, etc.

Hoping this generates a few laughs and some good advice as well!

1st suggestion
Let’s say it’s just you two for now. You both eat 3x per day. And You both enjoy 3oz of meat with each meal. That means in 1 year, you will both consume 410.6 lbs of meat. If you were to buy average to good quality meat from a butcher (not in bulk), the average cost per lb is roughly 6$ but the better the more it costs.

That means you will spend a minimum of $2,463.75 on meat.

So what my family does is take the amount we would have for protein and that’s what pays for hunts. As an example we take $5,000 and if I can get 600lbs of meat on resident tags I’m looking at spending under $2,000. So we take the remaining money, divide it in half, and she gets to plan whatever vacation she wants, with me or not. And it’s all her.

This keeps her happy, me happy, and our bank account happy.

2nd suggestion
Find something that you can each do constantly to build and maintain trust, that will put you both in a caregiver role... example she cooks and preps your lunch and you take care of dinner. That way you BOTH feel invested. If you start feeling 60/40 or vice verse.... fix that ASAP as it will do more damage in the long run.

 

[timekiller13]

I will also add in, be very careful who your hunting partners are. That can cause issues with your spouse. I generally hunt alone most of the time, Dad joins me some. But, when I was younger and first married, I hunted with some guys who were all around my age. They were all good guys, except one was a pretty big party animal and a ladies man (if you know what I mean). First time my wife met him, he was boasting about getting hammered on a hunting trip and hooking up with girls. She said "I really don't want you around that guy." Message was loud and clear. I cut ties with that group because I knew it would lead to nothing but trouble.

 

[bridgermgmt]

I will also add in, be very careful who your hunting partners are. That can cause issues with your spouse. I generally hunt alone most of the time, Dad joins me some. But, when I was younger and first married, I hunted with some guys who were all around my age. They were all good guys, except one was a pretty big party animal and a ladies man (if you know what I mean). First time my wife met him, he was boasting about getting hammered on a hunting trip and hooking up with girls. She said "I really don't want you around that guy." Message was loud and clear. I cut ties with that group because I knew it would lead to nothing but trouble.

^ this

My wife, my dog, or my kid are THE truth! If one of them doesn’t like you or something about you..... you gone

 

[16Bore]

Great movie, watched it this week.

If you’ve got kids (especially a daughter) watch “Courageous”