Figuring out how to enjoy life

[t_carlson]

My beautiful wife taught me a good life lesson. If you wait until you have the time and money to go and do what you want to do in life. You probably won't get there.
Seems to me anyhows that when I'm working extra n have extra bucks, no time. Or time n need the bucks to live on. It's kinda endless.
Hey make the time. And the memories. Only got one chance man.

I was listening to a podcast with Sam Harris on for a guest (I don't particularly like Sam Harris, but I'll listen to what he has to say when I'm in the right mood).

He mentioned the idea of "deferred happiness" and how we like to tell ouselves that someday, when _________ occurs, we'll be happy then. Its cheating us out of happiness in the present. I've lived a lot of my life like that am really trying to enjoy things now.

 

[akcabin]

I'm glad folks are thinking. I actually didn't consider the long term financial stuff. Never have known how much money we have or what bills we have. Other than it wasn't enough. And the financial thing, well we decided that having only one of us working would be better for our family. We homeschooled also, what a great experience but a ton of work. And just up to me to bring the cash in. But always did what I wanted to.
I had to hunt n fish and grow a big garden. And work all in could.
I would hunt moose every day of my vacation n hit the woods for a week's at a time. No phones then. My buddy had a 22 foot Trophy fishing boat for the ocean and we would go for 3-4 day trips. Meat run of halibut n salmon n sea bass n golden eyes n shrimp n such. Not just for us but we helped a lot of folks around us. And a little river boat for salmon fishing. Hey I was getting great food for our family and having a ball. Learning a lot about the remote bush. And given me the confidence to go build a log cabin in the bush so we could play more. And be with our family. Kinda my version of leaving something for our family.
We're building our retirement home. We built our previous home so we would have that equity. But sold it to our daughter for what the bank would finance. Hey what's a hundred grand. My family is safe and we are together. Still broke but getting by. Going to need a big garden again. We now raise meat rabbits so we have a couple hundred pounds of rabbit meat around. And will have to flip a few projects. But eh I like doing that stuff. And try to put together another business plan that will supply our needs. But I have my family all around me. Even now, looking around the living room. Fantastic daughter n 2 grandkids another downstairs. And I live in AK.
Maybe a couple more thoughts.
Own it ! Daughter taught me that. Goof up just own it. Never have to worry again about what you do again.
A staff taught me, live on your wins. Can't change the past. Keep those dreams on focus. Live for the moment.
Kinda feels good to take care of the people around you and you will be automatically taking care of yourself.
Kinda all goes together huh

 

[Coldtrail]

I was listening to a podcast with Sam Harris on for a guest (I don't particularly like Sam Harris, but I'll listen to what he has to say when I'm in the right mood).

He mentioned the idea of "deferred happiness" and how we like to tell ouselves that someday, when _________ occurs, we'll be happy then. Its cheating us out of happiness in the present. I've lived a lot of my life like that am really trying to enjoy things now.

So true.......how many people do you know that not only talk about all the things they are going to do "someday" but also spend their money on gear and equipment that never gets used? I know lots of retired people with new boats and thousands of dollars in hunting equipment that has never, and will never get used.

The advice I got from an old timer when I was 40yo was that activities you are not doing right now, you will still not be doing at retirement, and anything you stop doing right now you will likely never do again.

 

[Brillo]

I have enjoyed the "common" wisdom of this thread.
I would add that most people don't have a clue how much stress they are living with. Getting rid of avoidable stress will flip your attitude about all of life. Stressors are things like debt, unhealthy relationships, total demand jobs. Henry David Thoreau said this: "Most men live lives of quiet desperation". Unfortunately, making the kind of change we need to make is usually as scary and difficult as changing a tire on a moving vehicle.

 

[CaliWoodsman]

A couple interesting observations I’ve noted recently at work that tie in nicely here:
1. I’m seeing a lot of people reaching retirement that are scared to death about what they’re going to do with their time. Spent their whole career on work and never developed a hobby.
2. Also have seen a lot of people reach or nearly reach retirement, only to be diagnosed with an illness (cancer, heart issues, etc.) that either limits their ability to do much in retirement, or means they’ve got very little time left. Some don’t even reach retirement. Heartbreaking to see people that had dreams of retirement never reach it. Gotta take care of yourself now to make sure you get to enjoy a long retirement, and also enjoy life along the way instead of deferring happiness into retirement.

 

[*zap*]

gotta make that $ so we can buy stuff we do not actually 'need'.

it is a sickness..

 

[Dos Perros]

Oh, it's a mystery to me
We have a greed, with which we have agreed
And you think you have to want more than you need
Until you have it all you won't be free

Society, you're a crazy breed
I hope you're not lonely without me

When you want more than you have
You think you need
And when you think more than you want
Your thoughts begin to bleed
I think I need to find a bigger place
'Cause when you have more than you think
You need more space

Life, or anything for that matter, is not about the destination. It's about the journey! And it's about the process. I'm not really sure how to tie that to happiness, but I'm sure it's related.

 

[Jaker_cc]

I’ve been really unhappy with my work to life ratio lately, I feel like I’m paying myself last and not getting to enjoy my life like I wanted to. Couple that with the 114* heat for 5 months out of the year and it’s a pretty terrible headspace. I’m making great money, but more unhappy than when I had less. The grind and chasing the dollar is keeping me in a place I don’t enjoy living.

This thread popped up and got me thinking honestly about my situation

 

[Pony Soldier]

I started to have thise same thoughts someplace around 59-60. My job satisfaction was someplace between boring and annoying. I suffered through till 62 and then retired my state job and took over managing a small company. The money dried up and I started consulting. My terms, my convenience and workload.

You are hot and miserable for half a year - I'm cold and miserable for half a year. The differance is I can take a nap and go do something else. Part of my workload is survival (wood and snow) the rest is carpentry or engineering design work.

Figure out what is comfortable or fun and do more of it. If you don't have anything in mind go shopping. I keep looking in the mtns at places I haven't been yet and start scheduling a trip. Be creative!

 

[FairWeatherFisher]

This is why I’m stoked to have my job. Every Friday of July & August is a paid day off, plus accruing 15hrs of leave a month.
It doesn’t pay the most $$, but it pays a lot of time!

 

[Southern Heritage]

Ive always had best of both worlds. I’ve been blessed to make a lot of money to me. Also been blessed to do a lot of things. My sister and her husband act like they don’t have any money as it all goes into investments so they can retire happy and that’s when they will “live”. They have even jokingly say I can live with them when I’m old and out of money.
‘what they don’t understand is your days are numbered. I shattered my spine and been laying in bed for the last 2 weeks getting used to my new titanium. I asked the doc can I hunt. His answer was yes if you like hunting food plots in shooting houses. My whole life changed in the most freak accident but here I am. No more long road trips, no more lay out blinds in the corn fields and defiantly no heavy packs. So I’m damn proud I got to do multiple Alaska trips and road trips in the lower 48 when It may have been questionable to spend that much at that time.
I also plan to prove the doc wrong. Just going to be a long road

 

[4rcgoat]

"some people mortgage their entire lives away with the thought they will buy it back when they get older"
John Geirich.

 

[Gone4Days]

 

[akcabin]

This was posted awhile ago by one Ryan Avery in the old guy section of Rokslide.


"Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!"

Randy

Yeah I read that one. And it's right. The Good Lord gave us 1 chance. Last night I was just thinking about some of the stuff I did. And sooooo glad that I did. We didn't have much spare money around when our kids were little. I went hunting n fishing all I could. Salmon, halibut, sea bass. Occasionally octopus, golden eye's, n such. Ocean and remote rivers. Hunt moose, caribou bear. Grow small livestock, rabbits chicken turkey grow a big garden. Fix our trucks. And build ourselves a new house again, after we got burned out by a wildfire.
Heck I was always worried about how worried my beautiful wife was about paying bills. And man I was wrong

 

[akcabin]

I just went back n re read this thread. Nice to see all trying to give helpful advice.

I have been told by my Dr's that there are some issues going on with my body. Genetic stuff with no cure. It has been pretty hard on me. Pain. But the fact that I can't get out to our cabin is something that kinda hurts a bit more. For the first time since I was probably 10 years old and shooting at anything that moved with my trusty red rider. I wasn't able to go hunting for the last couple years. Getting out is my thing.
After my neck was fused again a couple months ago. I'm feeling better than I have for years. And I am going out to the cabin. Moose hunting for a month. Or just a trip out to get some work done. Put some nice pine on the lid, finally get the stairs done. Get a walk in cooler set up in case I harvest a moose set up. Get the wheelers going. Cool stuff not really work. And having a fresh perked cup of coffee sitting on the deck n looking at the world. My world in a way.
This project took years to get this far. Always with the thoughts that my family will have the opportunity to get out. To a very special place. Bush Alaska.
Yeah I kinda like getting out in the bush. Providing food for my family.
My only regret if it could be called that is that more folks don't have the opportunities or take advantage of them.
Thanks all for your inspiration

 

[Nards444]

It’s a balance. You’re only 35 once only have kids once. But you can enjoy life without money. Balanced approach is the way

 

[akcabin]

Reporting back. First off I feel great. I got new Dr's about 6 months ago after the last jerks. I didn't believe that I would ever be without pain but it's real. Feel soooo blessed after a lifetime. I was able to get out to the cabin and even got all my chores done. A good friend flew his plane out n helped me. I now have refrigeration at the cabin. This is a game changer. And I got the generator shed cleaned up and the air conditioner installed. Sure hope this works like I hope it will. At least I have a dry place with a lot of fans and circulation. And no access from blow flies. And keeping the more tender meat like heart, tongue n such will be easier with the freezer.
I cleaned out the fuel filter on the suzuki 4 wheeler n she fired right up. Running perfectly again. We disassembled the key switch and got the 6 wheeler running great again to. This is my freight hauler. And with the winches n a couple pullies I should be able to do a moose by myself. May take a while but I could get it.
I'll be flying out again tomorrow morning for a bit. Will be nice to not have any projects that have to happen. And can focus on hunting. Although a great stand is on the front porch. I like sitting at moms pond in the morning n evening. And it's nice to be able to stay out until it's dark out and watch. A short trip back to a warm dry cabin. With a lazy boy and beds. But hey it keeps me in the game. And I'm sooooo proud and blessed to have the opportunity to build this little cabin in the first place. And now we have our own little slice in the middle of a kazillion acres of wild.
Hey folks, get out n you some. I'm very fortunate. But I hope you all have a great hunt and stay safe

 

[1brad]

The best things in life are free or very cheap! Enjoy the outdoors, god’s gift to us!

 

[Customweld]

Oh, it's a mystery to me
We have a greed, with which we have agreed
And you think you have to want more than you need
Until you have it all you won't be free

Society, you're a crazy breed
I hope you're not lonely without me

When you want more than you have
You think you need
And when you think more than you want
Your thoughts begin to bleed
I think I need to find a bigger place
'Cause when you have more than you think
You need more space

Life, or anything for that matter, is not about the destination. It's about the journey! And it's about the process. I'm not really sure how to tie that to happiness, but I'm sure it's related.

I think about this song often. Mostly looking in my shop at all the shit I have and don't need or use. It's sure easy to get wrapped up in long term projections. "The house will be paid off in x years, the kids will be out of the house in x years, etc " Somewhere along the lines I misplaced 20 years.
The days, they come, but the years, they go.

 

[Dos Perros]

I think about this song often. Mostly looking in my shop at all the shit I have and don't need or use. It's sure easy to get wrapped up in long term projections. "The house will be paid off in x years, the kids will be out of the house in x years, etc " Somewhere along the lines I misplaced 20 years.
The days, they come, but the years, they go.

One of the reasons I love (and hate) backpack hunting. I can leave the truck for days at a time with all I need to survive and thrive in the wilderness, have a great f****** time, challenge my body and my mind, thank the good Lord for my blessings, and then I drive home to a house full of worthless sh*t that I probably would prefer if it were just gone.