Figuring out how to enjoy life

[Customweld]

Lived a little bit of a variable life. If you want to place people into 2 primary groups where they may not end up happy, it is this:

1. Presents
2. Futures

The "presents" get a lot of common criticism for living too much in the present with litter consideration for the future. There are definitely many positives to this approach and some people do manage to squeeze through and live a successful and fulfilling life having taken this approach. The odds are stacked against you, but for those that pull it off, its difficult to argue with the outcome. Its inspiring, its tempting, but it often doesn't end so great. Nonetheless, one has to applaud the risk vs. reward for that manage to pull it off.

The "futures" however, often do not receive much common criticism, though many of them burn out and fail at life. "futures" are always planning for the future, which, of course, is responsible, but constantly pushing, being concerned creates anxiety. If you are too deep in the future, you may end up with a failed life pursuit just as much as the "presents" end up in the same boat with the only real difference being financial. You can "future" yourself right into stress, poor health, poor relationship health, divorce, no friends and no social connections. Hunting forums, for whatever reason, tend to attract a lot of these types. Its cool that your you're hyper focused on the future and all, but I'm not really interested in taking any type of advice from a miserable person. These folks, deep down inside, recognize they aren't happy, but will almost never address it because "future." When they do finally arrive in this future, they never learned how to not be miserable so they remain miserable.

Somehow, you have to figure out how to balance aspects of these 2 philosophies and that may be a constantly shifting polarity that you'll have to navigate throughout life with considerations for those around you, spouse, family and children. You probably default more to one vs. the other, and you may have to learn some difficult lessons, make some terrible mistakes and even suffer a great deal to find the balance.

On occasion, you'll meet someone who has lived a very charmed life where, for various reasons, they had some kind of perfect balance between these 2 aspects from the get-go. They lived in the moment yet planned for the future without having to experience much the associated discomforts. Its by far the exception, but, somehow these folks just naviated through life with great outcomes, an array of experiences, a secure future, and consistent happiness, fulfillment and inspiration and it just doesn't seem to make sense to anyone who has struggled at either end of the spectrum. You can learn a great deal from these folks.

Learning how to balance the two, is definitely a fleeting ghost. Figuring out how to let the good times carry the rest is something that I have been trying to teach my daughters.
As a young man, I'd sit and listen to my Grandpa. He always told me that "the days , they come but the years, they go" It took years for that to sink in. I sit back now and wonder where the last twenty years went.

Futurists always think to the next milestone. When I turn 21, when the kids get into school, when they move out, etc. Always thinking that things will be better or that they will get to do things when those certain milestones hit . I'm guilty of it too. I've hit those milestones and now I'm thinking forward to retirement, but there is still 12-15 years til that point. There is a lot of life between now and then, best get to enjoying it!

 

[JFK]

With money…I try to be very conservative with about 90% of my decisions. Save, invest, don’t buy stupid stuff. This allows us to really send it on stuff that’s meaningful like trips, or a nice piece of gear. One thing, is that from the standpoint of quantifying hunting, fishing, financially it’s never going to pencil out. It’s either worth it to you or it’s not. I waffled on buying a boat for several years and finally pulled the trigger this year because I was seeing years go by without getting on the water. There is a cost to not doing what you love.

I personally try to do the above while working as little as possible. Not to say I don’t work, I’m on a 56 hour week (two days on, four off) and work a decent amount of OT, but it’s a means to an end and I tend to go on runs of working a lot then back off and focus on family.