Two party system: a necessary evil?

[9.1]

This topic has been really weighing on my mind. Every October and November I go through so much anxiety over it. My wife and I have different priorities this time of year. Between family and friends, we haven't been able to get everyone together for a just one birthday party for one of my children. We always end up having to have a fun one at a rowdy place with all the kids and then a separate one with the grandparents and aunts and uncles where we can go out to dinner and gawk over how much bigger our kiddo is. Every year this happens right at the peak of the whitetail rut. I live in a state that doesn't allow hunting on Sundays. It's been hot all week. We have a cold front moving in for the weekend, and we have parties planned for Friday and Saturday. I'm not sure I'll be able to get into the woods until Monday. I'm doing the best I can to be a good dad, but my wife can tell I'm internalizing a lot of angst. I don't think she's very happy with me right now.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how we could get away from this two-party system, or do I need to just get over it and carry on?

 

[Dreaded Archer24]

This topic has been really weighing on my mind. Every October and November I go through so much anxiety over it. My wife and I have different priorities this time of year. Between family and friends, we haven't been able to get everyone together for a just one birthday party for one of my children. We always end up having to have a fun one at a rowdy place with all the kids and then a separate one with the grandparents and aunts and uncles where we can go out to dinner and gawk over how much bigger our kiddo is. Every year this happens right at the peak of the whitetail rut. I live in a state that doesn't allow hunting on Sundays. It's been hot all week. We have a cold front moving in for the weekend, and we have parties planned for Friday and Saturday. I'm not sure I'll be able to get into the woods until Monday. I'm doing the best I can to be a good dad, but my wife can tell I'm internalizing a lot of angst. I don't think she's very happy with me right now.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how we could get away from this two-party system, or do I need to just get over it and carry on?

First, good morning. I agree we need 5 main parties to spread it out it’s crazy the world we live in needless to say. But regardless of who I voted for or you and your family we are all Americans and we need more people to come together against the masses. Hope you have a blessed day bud


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[9.1]

5 parties would be way too many. I would like to get down to one. I really think consolidating would reduce my stress level and help my wallet.

 

[Crowmangler]

You're the man... be the leader. Tell them there will be only one. Do it at your house. Invite the older family for the first couple hours then the circus can bust in & cut loose. At that point the older folks can choose to stay or go.

 

[Customweld]

As the kids get older, they start to migrate more towards wanting to be with their friends at a fun party. On the flip side, the relatives may feel an obligation to attend the birthday party, but would really rather be somewhere else on that Saturday night. Throw the kids, a kid party and plan an evening dinner at a different time with family members.

 

[TSAMP]

The party is for the kid. Ask the kid what they want. Do a single party how theyd like if its agreeable. People don't have to come. Stop trying to please everyone.

Giving anybody options is your first mistake.

Im my opinion these party things get out of control. Go to a park all sounds nice, then your held hostage while you watch some kid open 38 presents.

 

[RufusB.Marion]

I thought this was about politics hahaha

 

[JSC2626]

This topic has been really weighing on my mind. Every October and November I go through so much anxiety over it. My wife and I have different priorities this time of year. Between family and friends, we haven't been able to get everyone together for a just one birthday party for one of my children. We always end up having to have a fun one at a rowdy place with all the kids and then a separate one with the grandparents and aunts and uncles where we can go out to dinner and gawk over how much bigger our kiddo is. Every year this happens right at the peak of the whitetail rut. I live in a state that doesn't allow hunting on Sundays. It's been hot all week. We have a cold front moving in for the weekend, and we have parties planned for Friday and Saturday. I'm not sure I'll be able to get into the woods until Monday. I'm doing the best I can to be a good dad, but my wife can tell I'm internalizing a lot of angst. I don't think she's very happy with me right now.

Does anyone have any suggestions on how we could get away from this two-party system, or do I need to just get over it and carry on?

Here is my opinion as a married man with children who loves to spend time in the woods. You can decide if it is worth anything.

I had a similar issue. Our white-tail rut is around the week of Christmas / New Years. Due to several unique factors, we wind up going to 7 - 10 Christmas's every year not including the traditional Christmas light show with friends, the church events, the mandatory work Christmas party, etc. On top of that, my oldest sons birthday is between Christmas and New Years and we usually have the birthday we have for him and then a grandparent normally shows up or request we come over "just for them". We repeat this process on pretty much every major holiday so thanksgiving is out the window as well. I had to get a little more creative and change how I hunt to not feel like I was missing out. I used to be the weekend warrior going pretty much every Friday night after work, Saturday morning and evening, and Sunday evening. On top of that, I would save some vacation to use a the last minute for when the "perfect conditions" happened, but none of that really works with the family commitments. Below is what I have changed to and it has really helped me out a ton so far.

1.) I bought a bow. This way I can start hunting in September and can hunt multiple ruts in the surrounding states that go earlier than my state. Also lets me enter draw hunts in other states way easier than with just owning a rifle. This gets you bow season and primitive weapon (muzzleloader season).

2.) I stopped being a weekend warrior and starting making dedicated trips that are planned well in advance and are not on the traditional dates that always get taken by holidays or recurring events. Yeah, I don't get to choose the weather and its rarely the rut, but I make the best out of the trip when I get there. So far, I have enjoyed this WAY more than doing the same thing every weekend. It has made me scout more, transition to public land more than small private, and I feel way more full on hunting. When I get back from being in the woods for 3 straight days I feel pretty content to not hunt for about 2 weeks. I also have seen more deer and better quality deer by doing this since I am able to build each days experience/knowledge. I actually just got back from a 2-day white-tail/1-day squirrel hunt on a out-of-state draw hunt back in October and had the largest buck of my life 6 yards from me, along with countless does all around me. Also brought home a limit on squirrels. It was nowhere near the rut, but I sure didn't feel like I was missing out on anything.

3.) Expanding my hunting from only white-tail to other species. I have always hunted small game and white-tail, but am now opening up to other game so my seasons run longer, opportunities are more abundant, and I don't sit around all year waiting for white-tail. Mix in some black bear, pronghorn, waterfowl, small game, turkey, predator, hog, and anything else you can think of. You could potentially hunt 12 months out of the year.

With all due respect to the other commenters, I would not recommend telling your wife that "there will only be one party from now on" or "taking charge because you're the man". It sounds like the parties are very important to her much in the same way hunting is important to you. If you want quality time in the woods, I would look for different dates that you can pre-plan to be in the woods. Then when you share those plans with your spouse, present it in a respectful way and present it as a solution. Something along the lines of "Hey honey, I know these parties are really important to you, and I want to make sure I am able to make them perfect for you. However, I hunting is something that is really important to me as well, and I do want to make some time to do this. I was thinking about taking some trips throughout the fall to get my hunting in that way we wont have any scheduling issues for the parties, and I can be a part of the parties" etc, etc, etc. I would be shocked if she didn't respond positively to hearing that you're excited to attend/help with the parties and you're caring enough about her opinion to have discussions about it. It may not get you the rut, but it may get you more high quality time in the woods (and reduce both of your frustrations). Sorry for the long post. Hope some of it helps.

 

[madgrad02]

Plan for spring/summer babies next time, not prime-time babies!!

JK, but in all reality, my wife and I were married on the opener of bow-hunting here in Wisconsin 10yrs ago - we had an agreement that that would be the only time I would have to "miss" the opener, and as a plus, I now have a great reminder when it comes to bow season that I need to remember that OTHER big day! Now that we have 2 little ones (late spring and early summer b-days might I add), I don't have to worry about too much of that, but feel for you with all the parties that come around the holidays, whether that be hosting and/or travelling. My wife works weekends at the hospital, so I have come to the realization that I need to get those mid-week hunts in and save all my PTO (well, it is technically unlimited, so not "saving" any) for the hunting season minus a family trip here and there. Think you need to get a little unconventional with it, especially since you can't hunt Sunday as is. Make those family memories and spend time with them while you can IMO.

 

[copenmechanism]

This post is a great litmus test to not only see who actually reads on here but who the by-gosh, truly, earnestly, nice people on here are as well.

 

[LookinforDirt]

Have the party for the kids. Drop the adult get together. What you do at the adult party is what Thanksgiving, Christmas, and even New Years are for. Or it could be done at any other time of year. A family get together doesn't have to be at the same time as the b-day and it would still accomplish the same thing.My son was born on November 19th. When my wife and I told my Dad the news he said, "uh oh, that's during the rut" I was like d#$k, that's how you greet news of your new grandson, lol. But then it settled in with me, haha. Can't say I was thinking about that when we made him. It hasn't been an issue. We don't do big parties (he doesn't like them). And if I needed to be away my wife and son would understand. I just make missing family events the exception and not the rule.

 

[The_Jim]

We have 4 kids. 1 party for all the kids birthdays in a neutral month(July for us) and we just celebrate as a family(me, wife, and 4 kids. No one else is invited) on their birthday in the evening. Grandparents come to the big party and it makes the actual birthday simple.

On a side note, hunting really isn't worth getting in a fight with your wife over... Those kids won't be around forever, enjoy the birthdays while they're young and hunt your heart out after they move out.

 

[Jimmy]

If you can't hunt on Sundays, why isn't at least one of the parties happening on Sunday?

Wives can be nuts. But she's your nut and you have to do your best to make things work out.

You did knock her up 9 months before the rut..... so you can't exactly say none of this is your fault.

 

[silasbowhunter]

In your situation, why are birthday parties on any day other than Sunday? You can’t hunt anyways. Sheesh


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[Marbles]

Nice bait title. I should read.

 

[silasbowhunter]

In your situation, why are birthday parties on any day other than Sunday? You can’t hunt anyways. Sheesh


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Also this is relatively tongue in cheek. Enjoy the kids while they enjoy birthday parties. By the time they are 15 they might not ever want to talk to you again, let alone have a birthday party.


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[butcherboy]

Plan one party at your desired location. Invite those you want to attend. If they show up great, if not, no big deal. Parties are for the kids so let them be kids. If adults don’t like it then why the heck are they coming to a kids party?

 

[nubraskan]

Have you considered hiring a doppelganger? Have him attend the parties and then you're free to hunt

 

[KurtR]

We always had one party if adults did not enjoy the kids having fun they didnt have to come