This topic has been really weighing on my mind. Every October and November I go through so much anxiety over it. My wife and I have different priorities this time of year. Between family and friends, we haven't been able to get everyone together for a just one birthday party for one of my children. We always end up having to have a fun one at a rowdy place with all the kids and then a separate one with the grandparents and aunts and uncles where we can go out to dinner and gawk over how much bigger our kiddo is. Every year this happens right at the peak of the whitetail rut. I live in a state that doesn't allow hunting on Sundays. It's been hot all week. We have a cold front moving in for the weekend, and we have parties planned for Friday and Saturday. I'm not sure I'll be able to get into the woods until Monday. I'm doing the best I can to be a good dad, but my wife can tell I'm internalizing a lot of angst. I don't think she's very happy with me right now.
Does anyone have any suggestions on how we could get away from this two-party system, or do I need to just get over it and carry on?
Here is my opinion as a married man with children who loves to spend time in the woods. You can decide if it is worth anything.
I had a similar issue. Our white-tail rut is around the week of Christmas / New Years. Due to several unique factors, we wind up going to 7 - 10 Christmas's every year not including the traditional Christmas light show with friends, the church events, the mandatory work Christmas party, etc. On top of that, my oldest sons birthday is between Christmas and New Years and we usually have the birthday we have for him and then a grandparent normally shows up or request we come over "just for them". We repeat this process on pretty much every major holiday so thanksgiving is out the window as well. I had to get a little more creative and change how I hunt to not feel like I was missing out. I used to be the weekend warrior going pretty much every Friday night after work, Saturday morning and evening, and Sunday evening. On top of that, I would save some vacation to use a the last minute for when the "perfect conditions" happened, but none of that really works with the family commitments. Below is what I have changed to and it has really helped me out a ton so far.
1.) I bought a bow. This way I can start hunting in September and can hunt multiple ruts in the surrounding states that go earlier than my state. Also lets me enter draw hunts in other states way easier than with just owning a rifle. This gets you bow season and primitive weapon (muzzleloader season).
2.) I stopped being a weekend warrior and starting making dedicated trips that are planned well in advance and are not on the traditional dates that always get taken by holidays or recurring events. Yeah, I don't get to choose the weather and its rarely the rut, but I make the best out of the trip when I get there. So far, I have enjoyed this WAY more than doing the same thing every weekend. It has made me scout more, transition to public land more than small private, and I feel way more full on hunting. When I get back from being in the woods for 3 straight days I feel pretty content to not hunt for about 2 weeks. I also have seen more deer and better quality deer by doing this since I am able to build each days experience/knowledge. I actually just got back from a 2-day white-tail/1-day squirrel hunt on a out-of-state draw hunt back in October and had the largest buck of my life 6 yards from me, along with countless does all around me. Also brought home a limit on squirrels. It was nowhere near the rut, but I sure didn't feel like I was missing out on anything.
3.) Expanding my hunting from only white-tail to other species. I have always hunted small game and white-tail, but am now opening up to other game so my seasons run longer, opportunities are more abundant, and I don't sit around all year waiting for white-tail. Mix in some black bear, pronghorn, waterfowl, small game, turkey, predator, hog, and anything else you can think of. You could potentially hunt 12 months out of the year.
With all due respect to the other commenters, I would not recommend telling your wife that "there will only be one party from now on" or "taking charge because you're the man". It sounds like the parties are very important to her much in the same way hunting is important to you. If you want quality time in the woods, I would look for different dates that you can pre-plan to be in the woods. Then when you share those plans with your spouse, present it in a respectful way and present it as a solution. Something along the lines of "Hey honey, I know these parties are really important to you, and I want to make sure I am able to make them perfect for you. However, I hunting is something that is really important to me as well, and I do want to make some time to do this. I was thinking about taking some trips throughout the fall to get my hunting in that way we wont have any scheduling issues for the parties, and I can be a part of the parties" etc, etc, etc. I would be shocked if she didn't respond positively to hearing that you're excited to attend/help with the parties and you're caring enough about her opinion to have discussions about it. It may not get you the rut, but it may get you more high quality time in the woods (and reduce both of your frustrations). Sorry for the long post. Hope some of it helps.
