Traveling Job with Kids

[nam1975]

A good friend who has a crazy job, with lots of moving, told his kids when they were old enough about time vs money.
It’s not an easy balance!
Lots of people never have that conversation with their kids, or even wife for that matter.

 

[Szwampdonkey]

I actually made a conscious move to focus less on work and more on my son when he was born 9 years ago. I left my then 70 hr/week, every other weekend, couple holidays a year healthcare job for my current job in which i work from home Mon thru Friday 0630-1500 no weekends or holidays. Yeah, my career life isn’t the most enriching, exciting, and at times can be downright boring but they pay me for it!

On the flip side, i’ve not missed a single day or significant event in my boys life and we have a tight relationship. I see him for breakfast before school and at the end of the day when i pick him up. That is priceless and i’d not trade another $100k a year to miss any of it. Imo, many Dads make a terrible mistake thinking their sole role is to provide income and the more income the better at all costs. You’ll never get those days back and i guarantee if you ask your kids later on if they’d rather have you around more growing up or a bigger house, newer truck, new boat, etc they’ll always say they wish you were around to to be a part of their lives.

 

[Marbles]

If you don't need the money, and are not hungry for the new position, don't do it. Of course, we all have different values, so my view may not be right for you. To me, priorities go in the order of God (or honor/justice if one is not religious), country, family, then comes everything else, to include work. The first three intermix with everything else, for example, you must be able to feed your family, so work can be pretty high on the list at times.

The only lasting mark most of us will leave on the world is how well or poorly we love and train our children. You can certainly still do that well while traveling for work, but you cannot get back the time lost.

I would see traveling for 2 weeks on and 2 off as different, but 4 days every week is a lot of time away.

 

[Banded_spooney]

Shoot, after Covid sent me home I am trying my best to never go back to the office let alone traveling for work. I get to spend so much time with my kids and take so much pressure off my wife it’s worth a small fortune.

Being able to take my son to school every day and pick him up most days is invaluable to our relationship and my wife’s mental health. Coming out of my office to make coffee and play with my daughter for 15 minutes while my wife can feed horses also helps all of us.

Every extra 15 minutes of one on one time makes a difference. Don’t do it

 

[PaHunter86]

Traveled for work for 7 years leaving Monday morning and not coming home until Friday night. Then my first daughter was born. I traveled for work for another year after she was born until I realized she didn't want to be held by me or want to be around me. She didn't know me. I quit that job and have been home everyday since then. Now she is 14, my son is 13, and my youngest is 10. I enjoy all the time I get with them now being home daily.

 

[kcruz]

Wow. Thanks for all the responses and advice. I figured it would be a pretty mixed bag, but it seems like most everyone is leaning towards staying home. I told my job that I wouldn't be able to right now and we could re-evaluate later. Later for them meant July... I guess that's at least another few months where I can sit down and discuss things with my wife some more and figure out what we really want to do.

 

[DanimalW]

Air travel or driving? Size of territory? Often times you can schedule things so you make calls closer on the way and closer on the way back so it’s only a couple overnights. Also, the need to travel seems to reduce after a few years after you’ve developed relationships. Customers don’t want to see you all the time. They’d rather have meaningful visits less frequently and have you available in an office to help when needed. Really depends on the industry I’d think.

Also, it’s not permanent. If you work hard and do well, there will be other opportunities for you in a few years. Either internally, or with another company. There’s also flexibility in most sales jobs. You might miss some things, but be able to do other things. I don’t know any salespeople that work Friday afternoons unless there’s a fire that needs to be put out.

 

[schmalzy]

To echo others, wife has to be 100% on board and you have to be disciplined to flip the switch to focusing on family when you are home.

I did Monday-Thursday every week for 2 years. The job was a blessing and we needed it, but it was horrible for our family dynamic. I know some guys make it work, but it wasn’t the right choice for us. Extremely glad I was able to change the situation and be home almost every night.

Someone mentioned above about just being able to take the kids to school and how valuable those 10-15 mins are. I couldn’t agree more.

With all that being said, I wouldn’t be afraid to sacrifice and make it happen IF it will set you up for future success AND if you and your wife were 100% on the same page and it wasn’t going to be permanent condition of your career.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[william schmaltz]

I used to travel about 2-3 times a month for work doing consulting. I planned on trying to make it work after our first was born. I lasted 4 months and then ended up leaving that job for a massive pay cut and took a project management job where I only travel a couple times a year. I've had several jobs come up over the last 4 years since then (couple more kids too) and I have turned them all down without thinking twice. Don’t miss it.

 

[Ikmclean]

Before I had kids I worked a rotating schedule gone 2 weeks and home for one, money was great but most of the guys I worked with who were doing it to provide a better lifestyle for their family are now divorced with little to no relationship with their kids. Feel bad for them but glad I was paying attention.

 

[String&stick]

Guess I'll give a different perspective. My dad (now 62) was gone 3-4 nights a week most weeks and would also be gone 6-8 weeks a year in two to 4 week chunks for storm jobs. So it was mom, the two of us boys, and the cows that my dad insisted we have so us boys wouldn't be "city" kids.

Sure there were hard time, and I swore to my dad at one point I would never work for the company he did because he had to miss my birthday for a storm job. . . But he worked hard and played hard. We fished/camped/hunted all the time when he was home. If he had stuff to do, we went with him. Occasionally he would take a day off on a Thursday while my mom was at work. He would get home a day early and clean house, he'd pull us from school early to clean house. All so it would be nice for my mom when she got home.

My dad earned a great living and I grew up with a life of vacations, trips, and fun. I had more "experiences" with my dad than tons of kids whose dad's were home every night of the week. Now I look at his job, and my brother's (works for the same company), and think I'm an idiot for not jumping on that gravy train with amazing retirement benefits and lots of vacation time

 

[Scoot]

No chance in hell I'd consider this at the point in life where you are at. I was very lucky to get a ton of time with my kids (flexible job that values family) and I'd never trade that for anything. My son is going to graduate in a couple months and leave home. I can't begin to tell you how fast the last 18 years went and how I don't ever regret prioritizing my kids first. Spend your time with your son now and for the next many years- I highly doubt you'll regret it.

 

[Trackerbacker]

Finally, I think most people only get a few opportunities to truly transform their lives. Pass them up, and you'll likely regret them later. In my experience, the opportunities require extra effort and some sacrifice.

this is the one thing my wife and I agree on (among other important items), wholeheartedly.

if it will change our lives tomorrow, I will sacrifice today. whether it is for her or for me. and there have been MANY for mes and MANY for hers at the same time as rasing our children.

family, marriages, whatever, is never 50/50. someone will always give me, and someone will always get more. whos in what position and how often, and how often you work together is what matters.

 

[WCB]

Air travel or driving? Size of territory? Often times you can schedule things so you make calls closer on the way and closer on the way back so it’s only a couple overnights. Also, the need to travel seems to reduce after a few years after you’ve developed relationships. Customers don’t want to see you all the time. They’d rather have meaningful visits less frequently and have you available in an office to help when needed. Really depends on the industry I’d think.

Also, it’s not permanent. If you work hard and do well, there will be other opportunities for you in a few years. Either internally, or with another company. There’s also flexibility in most sales jobs. You might miss some things, but be able to do other things. I don’t know any salespeople that work Friday afternoons unless there’s a fire that needs to be put out.

I agree with this 100%. My buddy that is a sales rep in the upper midwest (ND,SD,MN,IA,WI) really sat down and scheduled his visits and cut travel by like 25% or 30% from the past sales rep. and developed really good relationships with manager or business owners that really only ask for him to be their for new product releases and trainings for those product. He does a power circuit where he is gone for a few weeks but then basically travels very sparingly the rest of the year.

 

[nphunter]

I will never forget standing on my porch as a kid and watching my father tear up and bawl as he drove out of the driveway onto another pipeline job where he knew it would be a couple of months before he saw us again.

I also use to work construction and was making $40hr mechanicing and operating equipment when I was in my early 20s. I took a 65% pay cut when my wife was pregnant with my first son and took a local job making $13.75hr. and it was one of the best decisions of my life.
I've passed up on several jobs over the past 10 years that would have greatly increased my travel time but also significantly increased my salary. I currently have a job where I can make it to almost all of my kid's sports events and school functions and feel very fortunate to have made it to so many over the years. I would not trade that time for any amount of money in the world.
Some people don't have a choice or feel like they are stuck in that job that causes them to travel which sucks, I would suggest everyone that can be there for their kids while they are growing up, it happens fast and you can never get that time back.

 

[Trackerbacker]

I will never forget standing on my porch as a kid and watching my father tear up and bawl as he drove out of the driveway onto another pipeline job where he knew it would be a couple of months before he saw us again.

I also use to work construction and was making $40hr mechanicing and operating equipment when I was in my early 20s. I took a 65% pay cut when my wife was pregnant with my first son and took a local job making $13.75hr. and it was one of the best decisions of my life.
I've passed up on several jobs over the past 10 years that would have greatly increased my travel time but also significantly increased my salary. I currently have a job where I can make it to almost all of my kid's sports events and school functions and feel very fortunate to have made it to so many over the years. I would not trade that time for any amount of money in the world.
Some people don't have a choice or feel like they are stuck in that job that causes them to travel which sucks, I would suggest everyone that can be there for their kids while they are growing up, it happens fast and you can never get that time back.

Do not take this the wrong way, I honestly might not convey this right and maybe I read way too much into it, but am genuinely curious:

Have you taken jobs based on your kids life, like their schedule of activities, or only pursue jobs thst offered flexible schedules but never built a "career"?

 

[nphunter]

Do not take this the wrong way, I honestly might not convey this right and maybe I read way too much into it, but am genuinely curious:

Have you taken jobs based on your kids life, like their schedule of activities, or only pursue jobs thst offered flexible schedules but never built a "career"?

Built a career with a company that has good benefits and moved into a position where I have a flexible schedule. I will have enough in my 401K by the time I'm 50 to not have to worry about that any longer, I have a company vehicle so I don't pay for a daily commute, and have about 8 weeks off a year paid, work 4/10's and make about 140K a year. I also flipped several houses over the last 15 years and my current house I owe about 110K on and have about 400K in equity and I could afford my mortgage pumping gas if needed.

I did a lot of odds-and-ends jobs early in my life, buying and fixed up vehicles, motorcycles and ATV's, parted out snowmobiles after work for a couple of years. All of this allowed my wife to stay at home with my kids when they were young and after she worked part-time and went to school and got her degree and is now a substitute teacher waiting to take a full-time job at our local school whenever one opens up at the school. My kids will both be out of the house in about 6 years, by then my house should be almost paid off, my wife will be working full time and between the two of us we will be grossing a little of 200K a year with essentially zero dept.

I've never bought a new vehicle in my life, have limited credit card usage and have never paid someone to do something for me that I can do myself, remodel, vehicle repairs, labor, taxes, etc. I also quit smoking 12 years ago and haven't drunk in about 15 years, my only vise is an addiction to hunting and the outdoors.

If I didn't spend so much money on our hobbies I'd already be retired Instead, I try to hunt 2 or 3 states a year and average just about 100 days a year in the woods. When I'm not hunting I'm either at a kids sports even, fixing up our house or following my wife around while she runs marathons and obstacle courses with the kids.

 

[kcruz]

Everything is a tradeoff. Money isn't everything, but lack of money isn't good either.

I didn't travel, but I frequently got home when the kids were in bed due to working very long hours. I don't regret making more money due to that effort. It was needed later when the kids were in college. Also, it made paying for kid activities later very easy.

In my experience, the weekends are probably more important. Assuming you won't be so tired to enjoy the weekends, I think the extra money will be very helpful when the kid(s) get older.

You can do this new job for a while at a higher pay, and possibly move into a non traveling job later.

Finally, I think most people only get a few opportunities to truly transform their lives. Pass them up, and you'll likely regret them later. In my experience, the opportunities require extra effort and some sacrifice.

Passing up an opportunity that I have wanted for a while is also a concern of mine. I have done a lot things to set myself up in front of the right people at my company to get access to this type of job without previous experience in the sales field. Then my son was born... although the want for the opportunity didn't go away, a lot of my extra effort kind of fell off since I focused on trying to be home with him more. Some how the offer has still been made to me. So the fear of passing this up and regretting it later on weighs heavy on my decision as well.

 

[joslinbd]

I advised my wife against this. You can't make up for time lost with kids while they are little.

 

[DanimalW]

So what did you decide to do?