Allot of info here.... but no one should be recommending a new hunter to get a .410 for wingshooting. You will be set up for failure. Turkeys with tungsten where you are aiming... yes, but not wingshooting.
The "small caliber philosophy" only applies to weapons that you "aim". You do not aim a shotgun in a wingshooting scenario. It is an instinctual swing shot that takes practice to master. A 12 gauge gives you the largest shot string ie. the most forgiveness in your shot. It also will put the most pellets on target for a cleaner kill. If you could make every shot perfectly, yes, you could use a .410 for everything. But you can't.... and it will take years of dedicated practice to get that good. Very few experienced hunters use .410 for wingshooting. They may go to say a 28 gauge for some game, but even then the person that does that will have dozens of years of experience under their belt.
For lead shooting only, you could get a 20 gauge, as you can use denser smaller shot. But you've already mentioned waterfowl which requires less dense steel shot (you will not be shooting any other non tox shot at waterfowl unless you are ok spending north of $200 in ammo in a morning hunt alone).
The quintessential, do-it-all shotgun for an average sized man should be a 12 gauge. Once you practice enough to start getting clean kills on almost every shot you make (which will take years), then you can consider dropping gauge. Or.... you can just use lighter loads in the 12 gauge....