Single income house holds

[desertdwellerdyl]

I wonder how young families can make it now with just a single income. Unless the husband makes really good money i don’t usually see it in my neck of the woods.

I don’t think most young families could be single income households and afford to purchase a home (depending on area and condition of home ofc).

 

[RJ Hunt]

My wife has stayed home since we had kids. I figure I married my wife cause she would make the best mom and wife and that’s who I wanted raising my kids. It has been tight at times but the investment in my family was/is worth it. We also home school.

 

[pods8 (Rugged Stitching)]

My wife decided to not to go back to work after our first kid. She was pretty fed up with that job already and wasn't paid much. I had a good paying stable job and could work overtime to make up the difference. But that also meant I had to travel and be away from home more.

Unforseen issues: my wife was going stir crazy home alone after 6-7 months and wanted to go back to work. We don't have family in town, that makes it much more difficult.

It took several years for my wife to rebuild her career after going back. I've seen alot of husband's not appreciate this sacrifice.

And the devils advocate is there are lots of wives that don’t appreciate the sacrifice you and folks like you have made. Work even more, travel, basically sacrificing even more of your time with your children. She alone wasn’t sacrificing and both deserve respect and appreciation. Husbands aren’t just paychecks.

 

[desertdwellerdyl]

And the devils advocate is there are lots of wives that don’t appreciate the sacrifice you and folks like you have made. Work even more, travel, basically sacrificing even more of your time with your children. She alone wasn’t sacrificing and both deserve respect and appreciation. Husbands aren’t just paychecks.

In general can’t this just go both ways for a number of things. Lack of appreciation/respect/admiration is a relationship killer and definitely need to make your s/o (& vice versa) know they aren’t taken for granted.

 

[pods8 (Rugged Stitching)]

In general can’t this just go both ways for a number of things. Lack of appreciation/respect/admiration is a relationship killer and definitely need to make your s/o (& vice versa) know they aren’t taken for granted.

Absolutely.

It was a devils advocate post. Cause it discussed a dad getting even less time with kids and men not appreciating the wife’s sacrifice. Time with dad also matters, dads aren’t just paychecks, etc. was the reminder comment. Sometimes it gets painted like that’s all they should be to ensure mom stays home.

Or as folks have pointed out some high earners sorta dismiss what it might require for lower base income folks to do the same as they are doing.

 

[Speaks]

Dont have kids but if we do wife will stay home for sure. She works FT but brings home less than 10% of household income.

 

[waspocrew]

My wife has stayed at home since our first child was born 11 years ago. This is what made sense while I attended medical school and residency across the country. We had no family to help watch our kids, so we lived off my student loans.

I felt like I had the easy job most days. Our kids are in school now, but she takes care of the day to day stuff (groceries, laundry, etc) and also helps out at their school 2 days a week. If she decided she wanted to go back to work, we'd find a way to make it happen, but for now this is great.

Everyone is going to have a different take and that's totally fine.

 

[Jon Boy]

Pretty commonly I hear of paying 1000-1500 a month per kid to go to day care. A wife (or husband) would have to have a pretty fare take home pay to offset that. Also, the entire house hold seems to be sick a large portion of the year and a lot of sick leave is taken. No big deal if you have paid sick leave and your employer doesn’t mind, I guess.

 

[Macegl]

We had been single income since we had our first child up until 2 years ago when my wife started part time at the elementary where they go to school. Our oldest is twelve and youngest is 8. My wife is going full time next year, she really struggled in the decision, I reassured her multiple times we can make whatever she decides work. She would like to use her degree, and they need teachers so she is going to try it.

I’m very frugal, probably to a fault. My wife is extremely low maintenance. I’ve never made over 65k and we’ve found a way to pay off our vehicles (older reliable cars/trucks that I can mechanic on for most things), we also own a home with a very reasonable mortage, that we moved into a few weeks ago(I built it after work and on weekends, sacrificed a lot of things over 3 years, but saved between 250-300k).

I’m of the opinion that if you have a supportive family, want something bad enough, and have some discipline and mental toughness almost anything is possible.

There is no right way or wrong way, just lots of different ways. Love your wife, be willing to sacrifice for her and your kids. And cherish the time you have with them because it goes fast.

 

[DLIP]

She planned on going back after maternity leave ended up until a few weeks before it was time and couldn’t go through with it. It’s definitely put more pressure on me as sole provider but would not have it any other way.

 

[juju]

Yes, and homeschool.

 

[Randy11]

Dont have kids but if we do wife will stay home for sure. She works FT but brings home less than 10% of household income.

Have you guys considered her not working either way?

We're kidless and one went to one income last year. It's been a great decision for us.

 

[Speaks]

Have you guys considered her not working either way?

We're kidless and one went to one income last year. It's been a great decision for us.

Yes we have done that for over 10 years cumulative at various points. In many ways my ideal situation would be that she takes care of stuff at home while I focus on my business, her income really does not matter to us. This actually balanced out reasonably well when she went back to college.

But other than that window she generally does not like housework so didnt do much more of that than she does now and would nearly always spend her time in ways that led to issues. For awhile she was volunteering at a dog rescue and half the time I leave on a business trip I come home to a new "foster dog" that she got guilted into taking because "you guys can afford it and you have time to work with them" after we had turned into a 6 dog household I had to get her to quit that right away. Shopping was another issue, sometimes it was fine and some months she would have a $10k credit card bill.

Every time we have gave it a shot it goes well for a few months and then she gets bored and things go off the rails, it mostly works over the summer but then turns into a mess over the fall, spring, and winter. Right now she is about 2/3 time as a vet tech and 1/3 time doing a little business that sells stuff at farmers markets that nets us zero money but keeps her busy enough while also flexible on schedules. If she can get to a point where the side business keeps her sufficiently busy to not turn into any kind of an issue we might give it a shot again, its still kind of seasonal though so not sure that will work out. Though in no iteration that we have tried did it really make much of a change in overall housework balance etc outside of our garden.

In theory I really like the idea, just has not worked out in our case.

 

[summs]

I am not a parent, but lots of my companions are popping out kids left and right. Day care is almost $2,000 a month for them for each kid. So after taxes, an average salary of $55,000 she would bring is less than $2,000 a month anyways if you pay for daycare. If your wife likes kids, maybe take an extra kid or two for $500/month or something. Would be the same as working full time and paying for day care. Dont overwhelm it, but a kid or two would offset costs and really help others in your circle/community too.

I vote for SAHM, i think that's better for mom and kid (imo)

 

[7mm-08]

My wife has not worked outside the house since the birth of our special needs child 33 years ago. A single income household puts a lot of pressure on the breadwinner to prosper and make the correct decisions for the family unit as they navigate a career. Unfortunately, that situation results in the breadwinner working long hours to do the best they can in the earnings department. A consequence of which is missing at home time with the wife and children. Life is what life is and my wife and I are satisfied we both did our best with the cards we were dealt.

 

[Yoder]

When my first son was born my wife only had a high school diploma so daycare cost more than what she could earn. It didn't make sense for her to work.

 

[Trimbandit]

There is potentially a lot of great advice on here. The catch is you don't know anything about the people giving it. Some may be great parents, some may not.
I am in the middle of a book I wish I had read before having kids or when they were very little. I highly recommend it. It's called "Hold on to your kids".
Life is about a lot more than making money. That balance will be different for every family.

 

[thinhorn_AK]

My BIL worked 2 jobs (80-90hrs a week) when his wife stayed home. He was miserable all the time. Never saw his kids, resented his wife because all she ever talked about was the “fun things” she did with kids while he was at work. His marriage nearly ended. She went back to work, he went to just one job and now they are much happier. They get to spend time with their kids TOGETHER.

Id be surprised if this didn't describe 90% of SIWK homes.

 

[The Ri Guy]

We'd go under if my wife quit her job, being in Greater Seattle Area -- she had to go back to work before our kid even hit 1. Only way we could pull it off is if my wife opened a Daycare at our house.

Meanwhile the Daycare Lady we send our kid to is making nearly $30k a month at the rates she charges to watch 12 kids.

I'm in the wrong business...

 

[pods8 (Rugged Stitching)]

Id be surprised if this didn't describe 90% of SIWK homes.

I'd buffer it depending on duration. Oh you have a 1yr old and been grinding it out but aren't drained yet? Cool. Tack on some years and report back.

Where is that thread about shooting a moose solo? Hahaha.
-Moose down, hurray! (kid born)
-First rear quarter bone in, whew this is a little taxing but I got this (year 1).
-Second rear quarter bone in, wow this is draining but I got this! (year 2).
-Front quarter bone in and trim meat, feeling some hot spots, this ain't comfortable, how much left? (year 3)
-Second front quarter bone in and some trim meat, twist a knee on that lap, drained, hurting, gotta keep grinding cause no one is going to help you (year 4).
-Packing out the rack, feeling broken down and just think you were SO happy to shoot that moose before, now you need a break and can't even enjoy the feeling currently, you just wish a partner would show up and take some load off so you can recover (year 5).
-Surprise the game warden wants you go go back in and grab some more stuff, your hunting partner arrives in camp after being delayed but wants to take care of some things and won't go help out (year 6 kid is in school, mom is taking time for herself during the day).
-Hunting partner asks it you want to go on another moose hunt...