Single income house holds

[loganwayne]

We just had our little boy a month ago. wife was thinking she would go back to work part time and is now thinking about staying with him for a year. I don't have a problem with it. It will make things tight and we wont be making trips like we use to but i think it will be worth it. After a year i asked if she would go back to work part time. Probably still could make it happen if she didnt, but Id rather have a little play room in our budget with her working some.

 

[justinspicher]

Child care is ridiculously expensive for what it is. My wife stopped working when we had kids and didn’t go back until they were in high school.

 

[hikenhunt]

My wife worked full-time until we had kids. She now works part-time remotely otherwise we would be a single income house with kids. We prioritized her being home with the kids and were actually single income for a while until she got her current job.

 

[TaperPin]

Mothers and stay at home dads are all unique - what works for one may be totally different from what works for another. We have a mix in the family, with some barely able to function with one kid, let alone add work onto her incredibly hectic life watching TV and social media, while others have more hustle and create baby sitting co-ops, juggle schedules of anyone who will help, or move closer to a grandparent for baby sitting, which allows them to go back to work. Mentally, some need to get away from the house, while some struggle being away from the kids.

The dynamics in the parent’s relationship also matters a lot. I’ve had friends who don’t use childcare and work completely different shifts, passing the kid off as one leaves for work and the other is just getting home. On the other hand, after work many dudes don’t want to change diapers, do laundry, clean and cook meals so if the wife works it has to align with her partner’s schedule.

Beyond the parent, the extended family and close relationships with friends also comes into play. Not all relatives enjoy watching kids even if paid, while others gladly do it for free. Some kids are easy and some are grouchy from the time they are born until becoming adults. Some parents are easy and some are grouchy. lol

 

[wmr89]

My wife left her job after our second child. It was tight but we made it work, until i was laid off two years later. It was devastating because we essentially lost both our jobs at the same time. She ended up having to get a job that was no where near as good a situation as the one she left. I'm glad she was able to have that time at home with the kids. I'm not entirely back on my feet but I'm hopeful that she will be able to be a stay at home mom again this year. I think staying at home can be the right choice but I would take a few things into consideration:

Are your current finances solid, including little debt and good savings? Make sure you are both fully aware of your financial situation.

How easily could she re-enter the job market if needed?

How easily could you find another job if you needed to?

Does she want to go back to work eventually? And will time off hurt her career development?

Daycare can be expensive but eventually that cost is reduced or eliminated as kids get older so even if it just breaking even it may be worth the career development.

If you can pull it off, and it is what she wants, then do it. Those early years are special like nothing else. They are worth the finacial sacrifice if it will not sink your finacial future. Just make sure you take the whole picture into consideration and know what you are getting into.

 

[loganwayne]

we are currently living with my in-laws. we are in the middle of a full house renovation. They live about 5 minutes from us. her mom is also semi retired and is willing to retire fully to help take care of our son if my wife wants to go back to work.
personally i think she will drive herself crazy being at home all the time. even if she goes out and meets her friends that are stay at home parents as well.

She doesnt like where she is now so i told her to just stay home. A former boss has reached out to her to come work for her if he gets a contract in October. it would be a part time thing at least for a couple years. Ideally thats what i hope happens. but im not putting all our eggs in that basket.

 

[JackOfAllTrades]

I don't want someone else fully raising my kids.
Had our first kid, she didnt work for a whole year. Now she works 2-3 half days a week because daycare only costs $5/hr and we have land to pay for that were not living on.
When the second kid comes this fall, she will retire from the workforce for good probably.
We're both 26 years old.

I find it selfish for parents to ship their kids off to daycare for 40 hours a week because they want to earn a little more money to spend on themselves.

 

[Burnsie]

When we started our family (My oldest is 30) we tried day care until the 2nd one was on the way. We did the math and their wasn't much sense for her to keep working, by the time you figured in her commute, gas, work clothes...etc. it was almost break even. When all the kids were past about 3rd or 4th grade she went back to work. Things were tight for those years, but I've never regretted it. Our kids were raised with our values, good manners, good work ethic...etc. and are now awesome human beings, out in the world being successful and making us grandbabies.

 

[mlevimadden]

we are currently living with my in-laws. we are in the middle of a full house renovation. They live about 5 minutes from us. her mom is also semi retired and is willing to retire fully to help take care of our son if my wife wants to go back to work.
personally i think she will drive herself crazy being at home all the time. even if she goes out and meets her friends that are stay at home parents as well.

She doesnt like where she is now so i told her to just stay home. A former boss has reached out to her to come work for her if he gets a contract in October. it would be a part time thing at least for a couple years. Ideally thats what i hope happens. but im not putting all our eggs in that basket.

If you have grandparents close and you don't think your wife will do well as a full-time SAHM, have you considered just having one or both of you go to part-time work paired with help from grandparents? This is what my wife and I did with our first and are currently trying to make work with our second and it's been going well.

I went down to 30 hrs/wk so I am still considered full-time and eligible for benefits that the whole family is on. My wife works 25 hrs/wk, and we get help from grandparents 2 days/wk. Just another option to consider, as others mentioned above there definitely isn't a one-size-fits-all for every family and situation. We have really valued the amount of time we have been able to spend with our children in their younger years and thankful to have the help we do to avoid daycare costs.

 

[go_deep]

Just let her be home for about 6 months with no plan of her returning to work, tell her that, at 6 months let's talk about this. After that have a few conversations, could you work offsetting hours so there's no childcare expense, could she do a part-time work from home with no childcare expense?

 

[Hnthrdr]

Everyone’s situation is different, my wife out earns me by a large margin. I work shift work so I watch the kids when I’m off, she watches them on my days I’m on shift. Even though my wife is a great mom I couldn’t imagine her being full time stay at home she is a business woman and pretty dang good at it. We get help from grandma’s and so far with two have made it work, have a 3rd coming in October and will make that work as well I like it that my kids are primarily being raised by parents or family but it’s rare these days, cost of living is sky high where I am from and is that way for most places it seems. Even making 105k I would be hard pressed to provide a solid middle class lifestyle on the west side of Denver these days…

 

[Pramo]

Wife took off 6 months for each child after birth and then went to 20 hours a week till the kids graduated high school. She could always get them on the bus and take them off. She liked having the adult world combined with being mom

Grandparents were close so that helped some but we searched and found a small in-home day care until they could get into pre-school. It's a balance but we tried to have a parent home as much as possible when the kids were home

 

[CMF]

We did not, but I wish we would have, she reduced work(to very minimal)started homeschooling when ours were around 7,10,12. I wish she would have done it the entire time.

 

[Jimmy]

My wife took 6 months off, then went back and worked 1 day a week. Only bc a family member was able to watch our child. We had tried childcare and it was just too expensive. Wife has multiple degrees and makes ok money even part time, and it's been healthy for her mental to get out of the house and be a professional for a little bit.
I think a lot of it should be up to the mom, with some healthy discussions with you and your perspective shared.

 

[loganwayne]

If you have grandparents close and you don't think your wife will do well as a full-time SAHM, have you considered just having one or both of you go to part-time work paired with help from grandparents? This is what my wife and I did with our first and are currently trying to make work with our second and it's been going well.

I went down to 30 hrs/wk so I am still considered full-time and eligible for benefits that the whole family is on. My wife works 25 hrs/wk, and we get help from grandparents 2 days/wk. Just another option to consider, as others mentioned above there definitely isn't a one-size-fits-all for every family and situation. We have really valued the amount of time we have been able to spend with our children in their younger years and thankful to have the help we do to avoid daycare costs.

Once the house is renovated I will have an office and I'll be able to work from home more. My company is already letting come in later and leave earlier to help my wife out. Her mom already works 3.5 days a week so that also helps.

 

[IDbrushswimmer]

My wife stays home and homeschools our kids. Have there been a few rough patches income wise, sure. But I wouldn’t trade it for daycare, public school bs etc. under any circumstance. I’m fortunate to make a good income, and know my kids are being raised how we believe they should be.

 

[grfox92]

My wife left her job when we had our first kid 10 years ago and hasn't gone back.

We made the decision not to have anyone else raise our children other than us and have stuck to it.

Like my wife says, after raising kids for 20+ years she will be happy to rejoin the workforce and work then. For now she is a stay at home, homeschooling mom of 4.

Sent from my SM-G990U using Tapatalk

 

[timekiller13]

It depends on the amount of income your partner earns.

If childcare expenses are going to be more than 50% of someone’s take home income then someone should stay home. If it’s less than that then pay for childcare.

 

[TxLite]

We went single income when the second was born. Daycare is too expensive and her hours were too crazy to spend time with the kids.

 

[rideold]

I stayed full time and my wife went part time. I worked a flex schedule for quite a few years to make it all work. She went back to full time when the kids were in middle school. The only way we could have been a single income family is if we had moved out of the Front Range all together for a less expensive area.