Silly things you heard as a kid

[EastHumboldt]

My grandmother when she thought we were not being 100% truthful. “You’re as full of shit as a Christmas turkey”. Never could figure that one out.

Actually this one I learned from my son who came back from the army with it, but it’s pretty funny. “ This is your goat to fxxk… I’m just holding a leg for you”

 

[Ridge Runner]

Mom used to say "Gonna rip off your arm and hit you in the face with the bloody end". Never heard her say "wait until your dad gets home" in my life. She could really lay a whooping on me and my siblings.

 

[DooleyVT]

With all the STOP DROP and ROLL we practiced as a kid I thought there were going to be way more fires when I grew up.

 

[hikenhunt]

My dad would say " oh, colorado barking spider. And he's close, I can smell his breath. "

My grandpa calls them barking spiders, I had never heard that from anyone else before!

 

[Vaultman]

stuck between a rock and a hard spot.

 

[MNGrouser]

When something didn't turn out right. "You're not holding your mouth right."

"Stop crying or I'll give you a reason to cry."

When I was little he'd say, "Skin a cat!" when he pulled my shirt off. I guess we didn't skin rabbits in our house @WoodBow

 

[Davyalabama]

George Jones, "hotter than a $2 pistol."

Read Proverbs, one can learn a lot there.

Always have on clean underwear.

You have 2 ears and one mouth, you figure it out.

 

[Superx3]

"Stop crying or I'll give you a reason to cry."

Mom always told us this. Or a loud girl cousin of mine “you scream again there better be blood or there will be!”

 

[DawnPatrol]

Better to keep your mouth shut and let folks assume you are stupid than open it and remove all doubt

Career advice from my dad: don’t let yourself get promoted to your own level of incompetence

 

[Smokey Bear]

Better to keep your mouth shut and let folks assume you are stupid than open it and remove all doubt

Great quote from Abraham Lincoln.

 

[Burnsie]

It's hotter than a two peckered Billy goat.

 

[Stalker69]

It's hotter than a two peckered Billy goat.

Or, hotter then a half f$%kd fox in forest fire.

 

[IDbrushswimmer]

My dad when disciplining me for something I’d seen him do: “If I slam my d*** in the door does that mean you have to??”

 

[MallardSX2]

“That’s crookeder than a dogs d1ck!”

My dad would say that while looking down and spinning an aluminum game getter arrow. That was freshly launched into the woods.

 

[NRA4LIFE]

When one of us would make an egregious miss, my dad would say "Christ, you couldn't hit the broadside of a barn from the inside".

 

[Stalker69]

First time I heard my dad say this, was we were ice fishing. And he had to do something, and I said I will watch your pole. He turned around and said, I don't think you can operate that heavy equipment. Heard him use it, a few times after too. ( wish I could hear him say it again)

 

[CCooper]

Came home with a black eye. Dad said “Looks like you were talking when you should’ve been listening”
- actually was solid life advice.

 

[Geewhiz]

Hi,

Yes, my grandpa used to have a lot of quirky sayings too. Whenever we went fishing he always tell me to keep an eye out for river dragons which kept me fascinated and vigilant the whole time. It is those little memories that make those times so special.

Thanks

Seen a few of your posts now and I’m wondering if you can prove to me that your a real person

 

[Dogone]

About a skinny girl: be like banging a sack of antlers.

 

[Wolfshead]

My Grandmother used to say
“Have to eat a peck of dirt before you die”
Usually when one of the younger kids would eat something off the floor or put something that was “dirty” in their mouths.