Silly things you heard as a kid

[KenLee]

My Papa describing an unattractive female in too little and/or too tight clothes: "She's 10 pounds of taters in a 5 pound sack".
A similarly clad attractive female was "10 pounds of sugar in a 5 pound sack".
The older he got, the more often he would actually say this to the attractive ones.

 

[Agross]

Tired as a one legged man at an ass kicken contest

Running around like a fart in a mitten.

 

[Mike Islander]

Grew up in the 60s and 70s. A big one was 6th graders put LSD in the drinking fountains.

 

[MuleyFever]

My grandma would flip out if we just opened the microwave before shutting it off. Said we would get cooked.

My mom told my younger brother and his friend they could catch Snipe if one stood at one end of the corn row with a pillow case and the other chased them from the other end because they wouldn't cross the corn row. They never caught one.

 

[FairWeatherFisher]

whenever my grandpa farted, he’d loudly exclaim “ugh, GAS!”. You could hear him from across the house hahahaha.

 

[Stalker69]

whenever my grandpa farted, he’d loudly exclaim “ugh, GAS!”. You could hear him from across the house hahahaha.

My dad would say " oh, colorado barking spider. And he's close, I can smell his breath. "

 

[Mw01313]

My mama (now 90) whenever someone offered unwanted advice: "Who's plucking this here chicken?"

I learned a little different variation of this one on framing crews in high school.

 

[Mw01313]

When something was getting the job done, "That thing's like a KMart radio. It don't play."

 

[WVelkhunter]

My grandpa was a foreman. When some asked him what time it was, he'd reply "are you taking medicine?" When they replied no, he'd say "Then I'll let you know when it's lunch time, and when it's quittin time!" After he passed, I heard many guys tell that same story with a grin on their face and a tear in their eye.

 

[Z Barebow]

The world will run out of oil by 2011.

 

[KenLee]

The world will run out of oil by 2011.

Reckon we're running on peanut oil now.

 

[sandhillhunter]

“The ugliest girl I ever saw was the prettiest girl from Arkansas” Said by my great grandfather (who grew up in Arkansas).


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[HuntHarder]

Grandma always told me that she put chemicals in her pool so that if you pee, it will turn bright red all around you. Works to this day on my kids now.

 

[survivalistd]

I brought you into this world, I can take you out of it!!

 

[survivalistd]

Havent seen them in a coons age

 

[survivalistd]

Ill snatch you bald headed

 

[lyingflatlander]

You have just got to say to yourself, “you have gotta be shi**in me?!”

 

[Mike Islander]

“The ugliest girl I ever saw was the prettiest girl from Arkansas” Said by my great grandfather (who grew up in Arkansas).


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Yikes! Must have lived in Arkadelphia. ;-)

 

[Oldrifle]

Honestly speaking, nothing positive ever happens after midnight.

 

[tam9492]

My grandpa never talks much about his service in Korea, but the one thing he will say:

“I wasn’t running, but I was passing guys that were.”