Silly things you heard as a kid

[Nickofthewoods]

When I was about nine years old my friend's older brother told us that if you have sex with a dead body it makes a ghost.

 

[Grassymike]

"If you eat that it will put hair on your chest".... I mostly did'nt eat it but ended up with a hairy chest anyway.

 

[Mag_7s]

Dad: Do as I say, not as I do.

 

[Wolfshead]

My Dad,
“Use your head for something other than a hat rack”

 

[fatlander]

My Dad,
“Use your head for something other than a hat rack”

And here I was thinking that was only my dad.

Another great one from dad was, “I don’t want you to be sorry. I want to you think, stupid.”


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[sandhillhunter]

I also heard “that’ll put hair on your chest”….and it did.

And dad would answer affirmatively to a question: “you bet your booties Grandma!”

I never knew what booties were being bet on.

When someone asked my Grandpa if he had a pocket knife with him:

“My pants are on, aren’t they?”


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[sasquatch]

Loving these, keep em coming. Reminds me of my childhood

Here’s one I’ve heard about people who are way out of shape

“That boys built like a bag of milk”

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[lyingflatlander]

“He couldn’t tell the truth if his life depended on it”.

 

[lyingflatlander]

“It’s the cat’s ass!”

 

[lyingflatlander]

“Let me tell you about the joys and pleasures of a boat.”

 

[lyingflatlander]

Sorry fella’s, I’m recalling these randomly and laughing while I type.

“It’s the kiss of death.”

Sarcasm for anything that starts with an upside, but frequently ends with a downside. Like meeting a new girl your interested in.

 

[Chumsnagger]

“dad, that’s not fair!” “Fair comes once a year and lasts a week, life’s not fair-learn that early in your life”

 

[I Am Gunz]

“Does a duck with a boner drag weeds?”

“You couldn’t beat yourself out of a wet paper bag”

Opa would ask me after a hunting trip “well did you catch any deer?” If only I would have thought to brand that before Rut haha

 

[Smokey Bear]

“Yer just pissin into the wind”

 

[Mw01313]

When I said I wanted something I wasn't gonna get as a kid, my granddaddy would say, "You want horns too, but you'll die buttheaded."

 

[Bucky44]

I was thinking about my grandpa today and how much I miss him. He like many grandpas helped introduce me to the outdoors. He would pull into the driveway to pick me up to go grouse hunting and when I’d jump in the truck he’d say “maybe we’ll see a snowshoe or a sidewinder”. I didn’t know what those were but damn I spent a lot of time watching for em!
Did you have a parent, grandparent, mentor that had silly sayings like that ?

 

[Bucky44]

I was thinking about my grandpa today and how much I miss him. He like many grandpas helped introduce me to the outdoors. He would pull into the driveway to pick me up to go grouse hunting and when I’d jump in the truck he’d say “maybe we’ll see a snowshoe or a sidewinder”. I didn’t know what those were but damn I spent a lot of time watching for em!
Did you have a parent, grandparent, mentor that had silly sayings like that ?

My Granpa, A farting man is a man to hire, a farting man will never tire!

 

[RS_Non-Res]

I remember the day my sister decided somthing that "will put hair on you chest" was best avoided.

 

[KenLee]

My mama (now 90) whenever someone offered unwanted advice: "Who's plucking this here chicken?"

 

[Mike Islander]

My grandpa told me if I put salt on bird's tail he couldn't fly and I could catch it.

My dad loaded shotgun shells with rock salt as a kid to test this theory. Your grandpa was correct. ;-)