Quitting Alcohol

schmalzy

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Oct 1, 2014
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First off, congratulations to everyone who has kept (and keeping) sober and able to withstand the everyday pressures of drinking alcohol; no matter how long it's been. It is NOT easy, and the cards are stacked against us.

What a hell of year 2023 was for me and never in a million years thought I would have gone without a drink. 2022 was a typical heavy drinking year for me and was the norm compared to the previous 27yrs. I drank on weekends, events, random days, summers, winters, day drinking, and pretty much every other day with any excuse whatsoever to have a couple beers, wine, shots, whiskeys, etc.... By the end of 2022 I had just turned 45, still in decent shape, but seeing my health going downhill super-fast. I wasn't as mobile, active, or healthy as I wanted to be so I decided to take the month of January off of booze, just to "dry out". Then I read this thread.....


I have no idea why this thread spoke to me so intimately. I read everyone's posts on how they've improved their lives by not drinking, especially who saw themselves better fathers to their kids. I was inspired. I didn't know it at the time, but I needed a major change in my life. I told myself I'd go as long as I could without drinking. January went by, so did February and March, then here comes springtime and still I hadn't had a drink. Friends started asking questions and congratulating me like I accomplished something profound. I never saw myself going down the sober path but here I was...

In 2023 I went to Las Vegas with high school friends I haven't seen in 20 years, Tulum, MX with my wife for a wedding, countless camping trips, a 3-day seafood & wine festival, birthday parties, concerts, an NFL game, professional soccer game, San Diego, ski trips, and multiple raft trips...ALL while staying sober and not having a drop!

I'd be lying if at times I didn't feel out of place being the only sober person, that I really wanted to have a beer on a hot summer day at the beach, or do a tequila shot with the whole wedding party in Mexico to celebrate a close friend's special day. But I knew that once I had that first drink, it would turn into a 2nd, then 3rd, then another day, then another week of drinking; eventually turning back into who I used to be, and who I no longer wanted to be.

I still won't say that I'll never drink again. I want to have a drink when my sons turn 21. But that is a long time away and will cross that bridge when it comes. For now, I'm happier, healthier, and a better me; a better father not drinking.

So, here's to a sober 2024 and beyond to everyone! If sobriety is your best path forward, you can do it and be proud of every day you say no thank you!!

Great post, happy for you!


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Joined
Jan 1, 2024
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37
Those of you who have stopped did you notice many benefits on your hunts, mindset, or physical shape?
Any tips on the process?
Booze is empty calories, it dehydrates you, its carcinogenic, and worst of all, it wrecks your natural testosterone levels. Oh, and it costs money you could spend hunting, and it leads to poor decisions. I haven't had a drink in two years. If life better? Yeah, but to what degree depends on how much you've been drinking. No hangovers, better progress in the gym, overall greater health and fitness. Downsides of kicking booze? Can't think of any.
 

ChrisA

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Joined
Apr 7, 2014
Messages
455
Location
Belle Plaine, IA
First off, congratulations to everyone who has kept (and keeping) sober and able to withstand the everyday pressures of drinking alcohol; no matter how long it's been. It is NOT easy, and the cards are stacked against us.

What a hell of year 2023 was for me and never in a million years thought I would have gone without a drink. 2022 was a typical heavy drinking year for me and was the norm compared to the previous 27yrs. I drank on weekends, events, random days, summers, winters, day drinking, and pretty much every other day with any excuse whatsoever to have a couple beers, wine, shots, whiskeys, etc.... By the end of 2022 I had just turned 45, still in decent shape, but seeing my health going downhill super-fast. I wasn't as mobile, active, or healthy as I wanted to be so I decided to take the month of January off of booze, just to "dry out". Then I read this thread.....


I have no idea why this thread spoke to me so intimately. I read everyone's posts on how they've improved their lives by not drinking, especially who saw themselves better fathers to their kids. I was inspired. I didn't know it at the time, but I needed a major change in my life. I told myself I'd go as long as I could without drinking. January went by, so did February and March, then here comes springtime and still I hadn't had a drink. Friends started asking questions and congratulating me like I accomplished something profound. I never saw myself going down the sober path but here I was...

In 2023 I went to Las Vegas with high school friends I haven't seen in 20 years, Tulum, MX with my wife for a wedding, countless camping trips, a 3-day seafood & wine festival, birthday parties, concerts, an NFL game, professional soccer game, San Diego, ski trips, and multiple raft trips...ALL while staying sober and not having a drop!

I'd be lying if at times I didn't feel out of place being the only sober person, that I really wanted to have a beer on a hot summer day at the beach, or do a tequila shot with the whole wedding party in Mexico to celebrate a close friend's special day. But I knew that once I had that first drink, it would turn into a 2nd, then 3rd, then another day, then another week of drinking; eventually turning back into who I used to be, and who I no longer wanted to be.

I still won't say that I'll never drink again. I want to have a drink when my sons turn 21. But that is a long time away and will cross that bridge when it comes. For now, I'm happier, healthier, and a better me; a better father not drinking.

So, here's to a sober 2024 and beyond to everyone! If sobriety is your best path forward, you can do it and be proud of every day you say no thank you!!
Damn, you just described me to a T, expect I have 5 years on you. We took my son out for supper on his 21st birthday last fall, so many thoughts went through my head watching him order and drink a margarita. I pray he doesn't get sucked in and shackled like I did. Thank God I'm free now.

Great post man, excellent!
 

Finch

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Feb 12, 2014
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VA
Damn, you just described me to a T, expect I have 5 years on you. We took my son out for supper on his 21st birthday last fall, so many thoughts went through my head watching him order and drink a margarita. I pray he doesn't get sucked in and shackled like I did. Thank God I'm free now.

Great post man, excellent!
Did you have a desire to share a drink with him?
 

Wellsdw

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Jul 11, 2017
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492
Location
Belews Creek NC
My wife and i had a deal where if she was ever pregnant I wouldn’t drink during her. pregnancy. Well the bourbon tour in Kentucky got us finally after YEARS of trying and while I haven’t been stone cold
Dry, Probably have had a hand full of beers, and when my buddy came into town for my 40th birthday, and I had a couple bourbons otherwise Ive been sober since may. And it was a life changer. My sleep has been shit for years due to being a firefighter, and while still not great, this was a game changer. More sleep, better focus, not fog. I can’t say enough about it. The ritual is hard to break but honestly I’ve lost a taste for it. I pray and can keep it going when little man gets here in less than a month! Been a great thread. Keep up the good work fellas
 

ChrisA

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Belle Plaine, IA
Did you have a desire to share a drink with h
Now that question opens up a big ass can of psychological worms that could take days to discuss. Of course I'd liked to have been able to have a drink with him, its the socially acceptable, and promoted, thing to do right? Plus, it's how "we" celebrate events and accomplishments as minor as successfully getting the dogs home from the groomer. He's seen me drink for the first 20.5 years of his life, easily to excess over a thousand times; I'm a pro.

However, there was no goddamned way I was breaking sobriety for that or anything else. For a while I felt sorry for myself because I let it get so bad that I can't enjoy a drink for whatever reason, but I could really give a shit less about that now. It's very simple, I don't drink.
 

eamyrick

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Apr 24, 2018
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Central Texas
Now that question opens up a big ass can of psychological worms that could take days to discuss. Of course I'd liked to have been able to have a drink with him, its the socially acceptable, and promoted, thing to do right? Plus, it's how "we" celebrate events and accomplishments as minor as successfully getting the dogs home from the groomer. He's seen me drink for the first 20.5 years of his life, easily to excess over a thousand times; I'm a pro.

However, there was no goddamned way I was breaking sobriety for that or anything else. For a while I felt sorry for myself because I let it get so bad that I can't enjoy a drink for whatever reason, but I could really give a shit less about that now. It's very simple, I don't drink.
This is spot on. I’ll hit 10 years in April. I’ve had 1000 social temptations since for why I should have a drink but I don’t drink anymore. It’s that simple. Drinking is the worst me. I could have a 6 pack today and everything would be fine but I’m 100% positive how it would end.

I’ll overshare—I had dental work done a year after I quit and had the laughing gas. My brain immediately flipped a switch and craved getting super ****** up for weeks. Even under the gas I was a different person. Since I’ve had a Vasectomy and all dental work sober as a gopher.

Y’all are all doing great. It’s awesome to see how many people have recognized the freedom that sobriety can provide. Shoot me a PM if you ever need any encouragement.
 

Finch

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VA
Now that question opens up a big ass can of psychological worms that could take days to discuss. Of course I'd liked to have been able to have a drink with him, its the socially acceptable, and promoted, thing to do right? Plus, it's how "we" celebrate events and accomplishments as minor as successfully getting the dogs home from the groomer. He's seen me drink for the first 20.5 years of his life, easily to excess over a thousand times; I'm a pro.

However, there was no goddamned way I was breaking sobriety for that or anything else. For a while I felt sorry for myself because I let it get so bad that I can't enjoy a drink for whatever reason, but I could really give a shit less about that now. It's very simple, I don't drink.

Appreciate the response. I was asking b/c it seems like every father's dream to sit down and have that first beer with their son. I've wondered this same thing about myself and what I'll do when that time comes. My son is only 6 so I have a ways to go before having to make that decision. I know it was a silly question but I was curious. Good job for not breaking sobriety!

I sold a bottle of Buffalo Trace to one of the supervisors at work last week. I actually bought it last year after I had already quit drinking. I mainly bought it since it's hard to come by and to have whenever I decided to start drinking again. That was my mindset a few months ago. I really don't have the desire to drink anymore and got tired of seeing that bottle on the top of the fridge every morning. I told the guy my story of being alcohol free for almost 6 months. Telling these stories always seems weird to me b/c I never saw myself as an alcoholic (and still dont) but in all honesty, I probably was. I quit last July and a couple weeks later, a best friend's brother died of cirohsiss of the liver at 50. He was so bad that he was put on a water restriction. The nurses would walk in his room and find him drinking water from the sink when he wasn't supposed to be. That's gotta be horrible where you're basically dying of thirst and can't even drink water.
 

eamyrick

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Appreciate the response. I was asking b/c it seems like every father's dream to sit down and have that first beer with their son. I've wondered this same thing about myself and what I'll do when that time comes. My son is only 6 so I have a ways to go before having to make that decision. I know it was a silly question but I was curious. Good job for not breaking sobriety!

I sold a bottle of Buffalo Trace to one of the supervisors at work last week. I actually bought it last year after I had already quit drinking. I mainly bought it since it's hard to come by and to have whenever I decided to start drinking again. That was my mindset a few months ago. I really don't have the desire to drink anymore and got tired of seeing that bottle on the top of the fridge every morning. I told the guy my story of being alcohol free for almost 6 months. Telling these stories always seems weird to me b/c I never saw myself as an alcoholic (and still dont) but in all honesty, I probably was. I quit last July and a couple weeks later, a best friend's brother died of cirohsiss of the liver at 50.

I’m in a profession where I see the result of addiction daily. In the last year I’ve seen 3 coworkers die from alcoholism all who had living parents. My boys might now have a problem but based on family history there is about a 65% chance it will be ruinous for them. I told my 9 year old that if he doesn’t have a drink until 25 I will buy him whatever vehicle he wants (no limit). He is too young to understand the why right now but my hope is that the motivation helps him make good decisions. My wife explains to him that Dad gave up drinking to be the best Dad possible.
 
Joined
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I was asking b/c it seems like every father's dream to sit down and have that first beer with their son. I've wondered this same thing about myself and what I'll do when that time comes.
Seems like an awesome opportunity to normalize not consuming poison. I understand where you're coming from, though, wanting to have that coming-of-age moment with your son. It's funny how society has conditioned us to accept some practices and not others. Consider tobacco and cannabis. Some of the same people that look down on consumption of those two substances willing consume alcohol with regularity and to excess. Why? Because society says it's OK. A lot of the trouble our country is in - scratch that, the globe, in light of recent events - stems from our inability to think critically and independently. Booze is shit, and any thought to the contrary is societal groupthink. As an aside... if booze couldn't be taxed by the federal government, it would be illegal.
 

CRJR45

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SE Flo-Ree-Duh
Seems like an awesome opportunity to normalize not consuming poison. I understand where you're coming from, though, wanting to have that coming-of-age moment with your son. It's funny how society has conditioned us to accept some practices and not others. Consider tobacco and cannabis. Some of the same people that look down on consumption of those two substances willing consume alcohol with regularity and to excess. Why? Because society says it's OK. A lot of the trouble our country is in - scratch that, the globe, in light of recent events - stems from our inability to think critically and independently. Booze is shit, and any thought to the contrary is societal groupthink. As an aside... if booze couldn't be taxed by the federal government, it would be illegal.
Mic Drop !
 

Yoder

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Jan 12, 2021
Messages
1,678
Appreciate the response. I was asking b/c it seems like every father's dream to sit down and have that first beer with their son. I've wondered this same thing about myself and what I'll do when that time comes. My son is only 6 so I have a ways to go before having to make that decision. I know it was a silly question but I was curious. Good job for not breaking sobriety!

I sold a bottle of Buffalo Trace to one of the supervisors at work last week. I actually bought it last year after I had already quit drinking. I mainly bought it since it's hard to come by and to have whenever I decided to start drinking again. That was my mindset a few months ago. I really don't have the desire to drink anymore and got tired of seeing that bottle on the top of the fridge every morning. I told the guy my story of being alcohol free for almost 6 months. Telling these stories always seems weird to me b/c I never saw myself as an alcoholic (and still dont) but in all honesty, I probably was. I quit last July and a couple weeks later, a best friend's brother died of cirohsiss of the liver at 50. He was so bad that he was put on a water restriction. The nurses would walk in his room and find him drinking water from the sink when he wasn't supposed to be. That's gotta be horrible where you're basically dying of thirst and can't even drink water.
I seriously doubt it was his son's first beer at 21. If it was, he's a pretty much a unicorn. I understand what you're saying though. I started drinking when I was 13. I have so much regret drinking around my kids. My oldest wound up becoming an addict and I always wonder if he would have gone down that road if I didn't drink. My dad rarely drank so who knows. Anymore I look at not drinking like a super power. I take pride in the fact I don't drink anymore, I am such a better person for it. My oldest is finally clean and sober and I thank God every day for it. We went hunting together this year for the first time in 14 years. I was watching the sun rise from my stand and I actually started crying I was so grateful. Keep up the good work everyone. It gets easier every day. If you drink today, quit again tomorrow, It's worth it.
 

hunt1up

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Mar 2, 2012
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Central Illinois
Appreciate the response. I was asking b/c it seems like every father's dream to sit down and have that first beer with their son. I've wondered this same thing about myself and what I'll do when that time comes. My son is only 6 so I have a ways to go before having to make that decision. I know it was a silly question but I was curious. Good job for not breaking sobriety!
This scenario(drinking with my kids when they're old enough) was one of the many that I ran through my mind when I was fearful of stopping and asking myself "What do you mean you're never doing to drink again? Like never?" That pictureque scene of a dad and a son in a boat, sun setting, fishing pole in hand, and a cold brew, boy that sounds great, right? I don't recall the first drink I had with my dad. But the novelty of drinking with my dad and the older fellas wore off pretty quickly for me in my 20s. I just became another one of the men that cracked beers at 10am on the fishing trip. I was just the next generation.

My dad is in his early 60s now and he drinks still, though he's never had the problem I did. Over the past year he's complimented me a few times on the accomplishment of quitting. If I asked him his opinion of that "first beer" moment he'd likely say he'd prefer if his kids never started.

My kids are 10 and almost 13 and I'm glad I quit before they hit their teenage years. Yeah I had beer around them all the time when they were small, but I'm hoping that part of their memories fades. I think it has.
 

Team4LongGun

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NW MT
Now that question opens up a big ass can of psychological worms that could take days to discuss. Of course I'd liked to have been able to have a drink with him, its the socially acceptable, and promoted, thing to do right? Plus, it's how "we" celebrate events and accomplishments as minor as successfully getting the dogs home from the groomer. He's seen me drink for the first 20.5 years of his life, easily to excess over a thousand times; I'm a pro.

However, there was no goddamned way I was breaking sobriety for that or anything else. For a while I felt sorry for myself because I let it get so bad that I can't enjoy a drink for whatever reason, but I could really give a shit less about that now. It's very simple, I don't drink.
Hell yeah. Really like your response.

I have 3 kids and we are actively teaching them to avoid alcohol as I’ve been a “pro” for far too long. I used to think there would be this cool moment with my oldest when she turns 21, but in reality I’d be exposing her to a struggle not a positive influence.

I am working hard on cutting it out for good and this thread has been a great motivator. Thanks to you all for sharing.
 

ChrisA

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Belle Plaine, IA
I seriously doubt it was his son's first beer at 21. If it was, he's a pretty much a unicorn. I understand what you're saying though. I started drinking when I was 13. I have so much regret drinking around my kids. My oldest wound up becoming an addict and I always wonder if he would have gone down that road if I didn't drink. My dad rarely drank so who knows. Anymore I look at not drinking like a super power. I take pride in the fact I don't drink anymore, I am such a better person for it. My oldest is finally clean and sober and I thank God every day for it. We went hunting together this year for the first time in 14 years. I was watching the sun rise from my stand and I actually started crying I was so grateful. Keep up the good work everyone. It gets easier every day. If you drink today, quit again tomorrow, It's worth it.
Nope, not a unicorn by a long shot but he certainly wasn't 11 like someone else I know🙄

11 years old, wtf dude. Look at a kid that's 11 or 13 or whatever, that's not right.

Great discussion and openness fellas, keep up the great work! I'll say it again, this thread and Huberman Podcast episode #86 had a giant hand in changing my life.
 

schmalzy

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Oct 1, 2014
Messages
1,581
I seriously doubt it was his son's first beer at 21. If it was, he's a pretty much a unicorn. I understand what you're saying though. I started drinking when I was 13. I have so much regret drinking around my kids. My oldest wound up becoming an addict and I always wonder if he would have gone down that road if I didn't drink. My dad rarely drank so who knows. Anymore I look at not drinking like a super power. I take pride in the fact I don't drink anymore, I am such a better person for it. My oldest is finally clean and sober and I thank God every day for it. We went hunting together this year for the first time in 14 years. I was watching the sun rise from my stand and I actually started crying I was so grateful. Keep up the good work everyone. It gets easier every day. If you drink today, quit again tomorrow, It's worth it.

So happy that you and your son got that time in the stand. Thank you for sharing this!


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Trogon

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Feb 17, 2015
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CO
8 months clean for me.

I was a binger, Im told. I wouldnt drink during the weekdays, then the pressure and stress of work would build through the week and come the weekend I would let loose with a "few". I wasnt killing 30 packs or a bottle a day, but if I added it all up it was way way beyond normal. Sometimes the weekends start on Thursdays and go through Sunday. Any special occasion, camping, hunting, visits with friends all involved excess alcohol. When I looked back, I realized I'd basically been hungover every weekend since I was 18 (42 now). Could probably count on one hand the days I wasnt, but honestly couldnt remember any.

Since I quit, it feels like I've been finally getting to know myself after all these years. Its been awkward and really hard. But its the best thing Ive ever done for myself. I woke up on new years day this year without a hangover for basically the first time ever and thats an amazing feeling. Im never going back.
 
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