I can usually abstain for a while, but I know if I start I go hard and cant stop.
It's like my moderation part of my brain doesn't work, so I try to channel that into positive stuff.
My Own Chains
I’ll never forget, my first drink
The devil gave this child a choice, and I forged that link
Fourteen years of age, far to young to see
I had sold myself, into slavery
He never said it outright, what he sought to do
Simply opened up the door, for me to walk through
Laughing at my misery, joyful in my pain
Handing me the hammer as I forge, my own chains
Sold it as a freedom, said it’s your right to choose
Knew full well, all I stood to lose
Whispering into my ear, right until the end
Always with another option, presented as a friend
He never said it outright, what he sought to do
Simply opened up the door, for me to walk through
Laughing at my misery, joyful in my pain
Handing me the hammer as I forge, my own chains
I’ve built myself a good life, been sober nine long years
It took three tries and one divorce, to find my way here
Still I can’t afford to listen, when I hear his call
A single bad decision, one drink could end it all
He never said it outright, what he sought to do
Simply opened up the door, for me to walk through
Laughing at my misery, joyful in my pain
Handing me the hammer as I forge, my own chains
Nolan Kirkwood