Empty Nester Blues

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Aug 12, 2020
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New Mexico
Well on the bright side she will learn what real Mexican food is like! I was also born and raised in El Paso. I’d be more worried about her joining that cult that is TAMU. My brother is an Aggie and he won’t let you forget it.

Side note my son just turned 2. I catch myself always dwelling on the hardships of the moment (potty training, brushing teeth, picky eating, etc..) Your post reminded me to slow down and enjoy him while I can.
 

Scoot

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Nov 13, 2012
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I heard a stat that by the time a child is 12 you have already spent 90% of the time that you will ever spend with them, and that by the time they're 18 it's 99%. That's gotdamned depressing.
No clue if it's true or not, but that is depressing. I can assure you that I will do my best to be below those percentages. I have great relationships with my kids and generally speaking, they like us.

My son leaves for college in 6 weeks. I'm thrilled for him and expect him to do well, but damn it stinks. I've still got a daughter at home for another 3 years. Chasing kids has dominated our lives for the past decade or more, which is exhausting, but damn it's so fun. I will miss going to all of their activities and cheering them on. Both will play college sports, and that'll be fun too, but I will definitely miss these times. I already dread being an empty nester.
 

87TT

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Well on the bright side she will learn what real Mexican food is like! I was also born and raised in El Paso. I’d be more worried about her joining that cult that is TAMU. My brother is an Aggie and he won’t let you forget it.

Side note my son just turned 2. I catch myself always dwelling on the hardships of the moment (potty training, brushing teeth, picky eating, etc..) Your post reminded me to slow down and enjoy him while I can.
My son is 45 and still not totally housebroken. But at least it’s his house.:D
 
OP
Customweld
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My wife and I have been married for 27 years. 23 of those have had kids in the house. The oldest left when she was 19, middle daughter left when when she was 20 and the youngest just turned 19 last week. I miss the times when they were little shavers, but have thoroughly enjoyed them as adults. Mom and I have done our part, it's her turn to start writing. I had a pretty good talk with her last night. She is excited as all get out and that has me excited for her.
I can totally see someone being so wrapped up in raising kids, that their whole identity basically turns into the kids defacto life.
 
Joined
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Casper, Wyoming
Thanks for posting. Its the little things we forget about as time goes on day to day. I only have one kiddo and won't be able to have another one and that makes every moment even more important. Again, thanks for making me sit back and think about how quickly it goes. I hope you manage through this time and still get to spend time with your daughter.
 

ODB

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Well on the bright side she will learn what real Mexican food is like! I was also born and raised in El Paso. I’d be more worried about her joining that cult that is TAMU. My brother is an Aggie and he won’t let you forget it.

Side note my son just turned 2. I catch myself always dwelling on the hardships of the moment (potty training, brushing teeth, picky eating, etc..) Your post reminded me to slow down and enjoy him while I can.

I heard this the other day: When you are having a tough time with your kids, are pissed at them or whatever, close your eyes and imagine you are now 80 years old and you have just been given a Time Machine to come back to this exact moment in time. What would you do differently?

That’s something to think about…
 
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One year ago, I was preparing myself for the same thing...My one and only (that I know of).
My son and I did everything together and the thought of him living 450 miles away was heartbreaking.
When the day came that I said goodbye at the University of Montana campus, I was prepared for a flood of emotions.
I looked him in the eye and said 'This is what I built you to do' and I turned and got in my car and drove away.

It didn't hit me nearly as hard as I expected or I had prepared myself in the time leading up to it.

He called or texted every day and it didn't seem like we were really that far apart.
 

Blacktocomm

Lil-Rokslider
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Temporary Expat
Side note my son just turned 2. I catch myself always dwelling on the hardships of the moment (potty training, brushing teeth, picky eating, etc..) Your post reminded me to slow down and enjoy him while I can.
My son is old enough that he has transitioned to 1 long nap - so I can't push him in the stroller for my lunch runs during the week.

I never thought I'd be sad I'm not pushing a stroller up-hill and running on pavement. But it has been a tough week since we started making the transition.
 
Joined
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My son is old enough that he has transitioned to 1 long nap - so I can't push him in the stroller for my lunch runs during the week.

I never thought I'd be sad I'm not pushing a stroller up-hill and running on pavement. But it has been a tough week since we started making the transition.
Get a baby carrier and get to rucking but don’t forget the snacks!
 

Fatcamp

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Is that true?

I was out at 18, wife too. I could see my son being out at 18. Daughter will be out sooner because she’ll be in juvie! ;)

Not ours. Maybe it's our rules but all three left right away. Oh well, they call often enough.

For my wife and I it is a bit different. This is a second marriage for us both and we brought kids to it so we already have a lot of time alone. We have arranged the kids to be with their other parents on the same schedule so we have a pretty good idea of what that feels like. Gotta say, those first few times following my divorce when I was alone in the house was pretty emotional.
 
Joined
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Kirtland, NM
Here’s how I feel sometimes. My middle daughter is 8 right now. When she was turning 2 I kept telling my wife she was turning 3. She kept telling me “No, she is only 2”. Which kept me insisting she was 3. Finally she told me she would know because she is the one that carried her for nine months then delivered her. My reaction was “Are you sure? It seems like we have had her forever!” 🤣
 

Backyard

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For you guys mourning about being an empty nester….

Go chase your wife around like you did before you had kids.

You’ll find out how big your house really is.

This^^

The wife and I have been having a ball all over again. Been 5 years since the youngest left for greener pastures and it’s like we’re dating again. It’s all how you look at it. The kids aren’t kids anymore.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
 
OP
Customweld
Joined
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Idaho
This^^

The wife and I have been having a ball all over again. Been 5 years since the youngest left for greener pastures and it’s like we’re dating again. It’s all how you look at it. The kids aren’t kids anymore.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk
It will be fine in a few days. It really just boils down to the fact that all of a sudden you realize that this part of the story is over.
 

P Carter

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I heard this the other day: When you are having a tough time with your kids, are pissed at them or whatever, close your eyes and imagine you are now 80 years old and you have just been given a Time Machine to come back to this exact moment in time. What would you do differently?

That’s something to think about…
I always think, particularly when I could find an excuse to stay late but I don’t really have to, “How much would these wealthy old dudes pay to go back in time and spend an evening with their five-year-old son?” Thousands; but they can’t; I can; so I’m headed home! (That comes across weird…I don’t shirk at work and have spent plenty of late nights and early mornings but I make darn sure I’m home from 5:00 to 8:00 to spend time with my kids while I can.)
 
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fwafwow

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The youngest daughter left for Texas this morning. That's how it's supposed to work, if you did it right. Boy, it sure leaves you with a heavy heart though.
I get it. We moved our son (the younger of our two) to DC area a few weeks ago. Daughter still lives within 45 minutes, but it’s not the same. I think this will take some getting used to
 
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