Cheapskate Friend problems

[String&stick]

start a kitty before you leave. each puts a hundred bucks in the pot and expenses are taken from the pot.
gas and groceries etc.

This is what we does every trip! Any time the envelope runs dry we each throw another $100 in. Divy up the extras when we get home

 

[Newtosavage]

I have a brother and several friends like that. Eventually, I had to tell them if they wanted to keep going with me, they were going to have to pay their share.

My buddy on the last trip out West, took turns filling the tank of my truck. I appreciated that. It was funny to watch him offer to fill it when I was at 1/2 tank though. I was like nah, I got plenty still. ha, ha, ha.

My brother actually (literally!) responded with "hey, I'm doing you a favor by coming with you..." LOL That was the last time I ever let him off the hook, and pretty soon he stopped coming with me because he knew I would expect him to pay his share. So part of it is deciding whether time with those friends/family is worth it to you.

Some people just take others for granted. It's how they are. You aren't going to change them. You can only change you.

 

[MattB]

Some people are not very self-aware and may not see it from your perspective. I would definately share your perspective - that you would like them to pay half and since you are using your gear you would appreciate help cleaning up afterwards. If they understand, great. If not, maybe you need a new friend.

 

[Rich M]

I've always been amazed when folks want to go, go, get a fair shake (hunt how they want) and then get mad at you if you see more game or catch more fish, etc.

 

[wyosteve]

Been there, done that. Reached the point where I tell anyone who wants to go, what it will cost them up front in cash to be paid before the truck leaves the lot. Amazing how many were 'one and done'.

 

[Conroy]

I had a brother in law that borrowed money and hunting and fishing equipment from me all the time. Usually I would get the stuff back and it wouldn't work the next time I tried to use it. I finally told him he would have to pay for everything he borrowed and I would give him his money back when he returned the items. He never asked me again, he asked my ex wife instead. One day he mentioned that he just bought a new ice shanty. I asked if I could borrow it from him, and he said as long as I brought it back before the next weekend. I have had that shanty for over 6 years now.

 

[FLAK]

I dont loan stuff out anymore.....after getting screwed a few times.
Fishing gear, snatch straps, tools,

 

[woodson]

I've never had this problem. I have pretty much hunted exclusively with AirborneEScouter for the last 12 years and you won't find a more equitable guy. We always split our gear list down the middle in the backcountry. He usually Venmo's me before I even have online orders for stuff placed.

 

[reaper]

Been there, done that. Reached the point where I tell anyone who wants to go, what it will cost them up front in cash to be paid before the truck leaves the lot. Amazing how many were 'one and done'.

Boum x2 Amen

Envoyé de mon Pixel 2 en utilisant Tapatalk

 

[Broomd]

Lucky with my group. We took my truck last year, and every time we stopped one would push me away from the gas pump. We rotated who paid for hotel rooms with no drama. We are all aware of the financial health of each other though because we are close. And hell, I was dragging them with me and I had the only tag, I was glad to pick up whatever was needed.

If I'm the only tag holder and we're pre-season scouting or hunting I pick up *everything.* Some have offered and even paid to gas up or food-up because they were enjoying the experience, but this is very hard to accept for me. If they are there for me, I want it all ON me.

 

[Fatcamp]

I only hunt with my wife. I also don't have a job. I do carry her animals out, and always let her shoot first.

Conflicted as to where I stand in our hunting relationship.

 

[lundellhunting7]

Growing up in high school I had a friend that wouldn't pay for anything. Almost every day either me or one of my other friends would have to buy his lunch because he would always be the first one to order then when he reached for his wallet he either didn't have money or he had "forgot" his money. Same thing on scouting/ hunting trips or really anything we did. I quit hanging out with him because it drove me nuts. But every time he had to drive there was always money given to him. For some reason he just never got it. I know he still does this to this day. 10+ years later because one of my other friends went out with him looking for sheds. The kid drove, made him to pay for all his gas and also wear and tear on his vehicle..... Never will I deal with that again.

 

[Netherman]

Personally I'd rather pay more than my share to avoid paying less than my share. Luckily my main hunting buddy is the same way but I've encountered those that will take as much as they can get.

My advice would echo everyone else and recommend you talk to him about it. I think people fall into three categories when it comes to shared expenses. There are those who fight for the chance to pay, those that will pay exactly their share, and those that are looking to pay as little as possible. While I prefer the first group I don't have an issue with the second. It just requires a little more work getting everything listed and split evenly. You typically don't see many that fall into the third, but I avoid them like the plague.

A trip to the bar will typically reveal who is who. The guy who throws a $20 in the pot, the guy who puts $17.50, and the guy who says he didn't agree to pay for any of it. These distinctions also commonly reflect work ethic and division of labor as well.

One important note when using the bar tab method is remembering to account for an individuals means.

I'll never forget the time some college buddies of mine paid my beer tab. I was still in school and not making a lot of money at my college job. After I bought the fourth round I let them know that I was done as I couldn't afford to match any more rounds. They both responded by buying wayyy to many rounds for all three of us, saying that they had real jobs and that I didn't need to worry about it.

 

[insanelupus]

Ive always figured it best to first decide the value of their relationship. Not necessarily in monetary terms. Money comes and goes, good friends don't.

Once that is determined, a conversation can take place and there are several good ideas in the thread on how to contend. I'm also not afraid to directly ask for their assistance with gear, etc. Often times it hasn't been a reluctance to help out, but rather a focus on other things. Expressing my desires or expectations goes a long way to starting the necessary communication.

As I get older, relationships and shared experiences have more value to me than money.

 

[Virginian]

Credit card roulette is a fun way to settle it. Everyone puts their card in a hat and one person picks blindly. Hopefully you don't have a Ramsey fanatic in the group that doesn't believe in plastic

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Ramsey fantastic!! I love that, I've never heard it before. Some of his ideas are crazy like not using plastic. I understand not running a balance but his philosophy that you spend more with plastic would rule out debit cards too.

 

[Virginian]

Personally I'd rather pay more than my share to avoid paying less than my share. Luckily my main hunting buddy is the same way but I've encountered those that will take as much as they can get.

My advice would echo everyone else and recommend you talk to him about it. I think people fall into three categories when it comes to shared expenses. There are those who fight for the chance to pay, those that will pay exactly their share, and those that are looking to pay as little as possible. While I prefer the first group I don't have an issue with the second. It just requires a little more work getting everything listed and split evenly. You typically don't see many that fall into the third, but I avoid them like the plague.

A trip to the bar will typically reveal who is who. The guy who throws a $20 in the pot, the guy who puts $17.50, and the guy who says he didn't agree to pay for any of it. These distinctions also commonly reflect work ethic and division of labor as well.

One important note when using the bar tab method is remembering to account for an individuals means.

I'll never forget the time some college buddies of mine paid my beer tab. I was still in school and not making a lot of money at my college job. After I bought the fourth round I let them know that I was done as I couldn't afford to match any more rounds. They both responded by buying wayyy to many rounds for all three of us, saying that they had real jobs and that I didn't need to worry about it.

I like that idea.

I had a friend in college and we went out bowling and I covered the shoe rental and the first 3 rounds. After that was over we were going to play another game and I asked him, can he get it and he said he'd pay for his. It was $2 he refused to cover my $2 even though I had paid the first three rounds and shoe rental. Never went bowling with him again

 

[Virginian]

If I'm the only tag holder and we're pre-season scouting or hunting I pick up *everything.* Some have offered and even paid to gas up or food-up because they were enjoying the experience, but this is very hard to accept for me. If they are there for me, I want it all ON me.

I totally get that. I would feel the same way.

 

[mattferg84]

I had a buddy who had substance abuse problems and I took him with me every time I went to the mountains hoping that it would replace that addiction. Nothing like being in the mountains when your life isnt going the way it should. I paid for everything when we went out, gas, food and let him use my gear. At first I didnt mind paying for everything because I felt like it was helping him get away from what he was doing. He ended up buying a bow and rifle. He hunted with me for a few years while I continued to pay for everything. We went elk hunting one time and all he brought was peanut butter, bread and a few cans of soup so I shared the food that I had. Eventually he pawned his bow and rifle. Once he did that I knew he was at a point of no return so we stopped hunting together.

 

[Gobbler36]

my hunting partner and I just take turns driving, I supply most of the gear like tents, stoves, camp water etc. but thats my choice because im a gear junkie and kind of my value in our relationship, but he always acknowledges and will usually supply a nice greasy burger at the end of a couple hunts, and he has more knowledge of the areas in which we hunt and he shares that so it all equals out. think the important thing is people should acknowledge it and supply monetary value or bring some other kind of value to you
maybe this guy is a mechanic and can work on your car for free idk

 

[Virginian]

my hunting partner and I just take turns driving, I supply most of the gear like tents, stoves, camp water etc. but thats my choice because im a gear junkie and kind of my value in our relationship, but he always acknowledges and will usually supply a nice greasy burger at the end of a couple hunts, and he has more knowledge of the areas in which we hunt and he shares that so it all equals out. think the important thing is people should acknowledge it and supply monetary value or bring some other kind of value to you
maybe this guy is a mechanic and can work on your car for free idk

No he's a grad student on the way to being a physician