Cheapskate Friend problems

[bowieknife50]

What works even better than a kitty is for ONE person (you) to put all the shared expenses on a credit or debit card. Keep track of the receipts and expenses in a small notebook. Tally it up and split it down the middle after the trip. Of course you need to have the talk with your partner and be sure he agrees with it. No arguing. Nobody pays more than their share. Each person is responsible for their own restaurant meals and food.

Anyone who plays cheapskate with me does it once. If we go together again, they'll be paying their way all the way.

We do this if it's a "big" trip. Otherwise it's kind of a free for all. I've had days where I jump in my buddy's truck and ride all day coyote hunting and use his shells because I forgot mine. He's had days where we drive 2 hours to deer hunt on my gas and I buy his dinner. It's not a rule I've made for myself but it just works out that I don't do any trips with anyone I haven't known for 20 years so it's pretty easy for things to take care of themselves. If for some reason I was going on a big trip with people I didn't know well it would all go on one of their cards and I would be asking what my share is and figuring it out before we got home.


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[5 shot group]

Finding a good hunting/fishing partner is harder then finding a wife IMO.

Usually before I invite somebody to go out with me, I invite them to help me with some sort of large project around the house (or work on the truck, haul wood, ect ) and see how they are. If they jump right in and help or are eager to help but don't know how, they are usually a good partner. If they just stand there and drink beer (and not even bring me one), sorry, might be a good bullshitting friend, but not a hunting partner.

 

[Gobbler36]

No he's a grad student on the way to being a physician

Lol free health care then!
Yeah this guy needs to pitch in and pull his weight then or else it’s time to move on.

 

[ZachB]

I try not to be that guy but have been in some circumstances, especially when I was younger. Most of the guys I hunt and fish with are retired so there income is a bit limited and I always try to cover something whether they ask me to or not. I think it’s best to ask what they need before opposed to them asking you for something. In trade I get to hunt and fish with experienced men who have been hunting and fishing longer than I’ve been alive. For example a game warden threw us a ticket for a fire extinguisher on his boat not working properly. I covered half the fine because I appreciate him taking me out there on his own dime most of the time and never bitching about it.

 

[Azone]

OP, that guy is mooching plain and simple. From my experience with moochers they are usually selfish and self centered and the world revolves around them. Those are not people you want to be in a wilderness area with, if the shit hits the fan you need a man or woman that you can trust with your life. My circle of hunting "buddies" has shrunk dramatically in the past few years to the point I can count my real hunting partners on one hand and still have fingers leftover.
In my experience a man that is not willing to pay his way will usually be willing to screw you over on the mountain.
This thread reminds me of the weekend I showed up to our deer camp with only enough food for me and my girlfriend (wife now) and locked my ice chest full of beer in the backseat of my truck. Oh the looks on everyone's face when they realized they had to drive 40 minutes back to town to fend for themselves. Everyone had their acts together after that weekend.
If you keep feeding a stray cat it will keep coming back for more. The way a person handles their finances says alot about them and their character. Him leaving you with a pile of wet gear to tend to after covering everything else would have drawn a first rate ass chewin from me if I was in your position. Sometimes that's what a person needs but some people just don't get it no matter what happens. Good luck with the friendship OP.

 

[Gunnersdad49]

My late Father told me "always do (or give) more than your share and take less than your share."
I try to follow that direction and do more than my share of camp chores, picking up the tab, etc. It makes me feel good to be able to do this.

The place that I take exception to is when an obvious leach complains. For example, the guy helping himself to your beers all day gripes that you don't have a fancy micro brew, or that you brought cans instead of bottles. That, and taking the last beer (or string cheese) will get you disinvited with me.

 

[CX5Ranch]

The guys I choose to run with it's nearly a fist fight to see who gets to pay at every stop.

Like others have said you have to choose to live with your choices. A deadbeat has no room with me.

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[3sdad]

Gotta pay to play. My hunting buddy and I kept receipts for fuel for our out of state hunts and would spilt it down the middle when we got back. We each brought our own food, and planned dinners for camp. His pickup one year, mine the next. Worked out well and I don't think either of us felt cheated. Another buddy and I would spilt costs for ocean fishing. His boat, truck, and usually tackle. I fueled the boat, he filled the pickup, and we usually spilt bait, launch and tolls. I would probably spend 150 or so for a day on the ocean and had no complaints. Fish or no fish. It was always a good time.

 

[Loco4dux]

Great thread...

I have good friends and if anyone is being a cheapass I’d just tell them straight up and hope they’d do the same. My brother, I might screw him over though @dschmidt @Bonehammer

I’ve watched my Dad’s “friends” take advantage of him much worse than this for years and is disgusting. I would not tolerate it.

 

[timberland]

On the other side of the fence, I met a guy in college from MO, and he had some time before the fall semester, so I told him that if he liked, he could come to my house in northern WI and fish. Took him out for a couple days of fishing, beer, food, etc. He didn't catch anything (Musky fishing), broke a rod, basically had a bad time. Last words were when he asked me to pay for HIS gas that he needed to come up and get to campus. I just about puked!

 

[Virginian]

On the other side of the fence, I met a guy in college from MO, and he had some time before the fall semester, so I told him that if he liked, he could come to my house in northern WI and fish. Took him out for a couple days of fishing, beer, food, etc. He didn't catch anything (Musky fishing), broke a rod, basically had a bad time. Last words were when he asked me to pay for HIS gas that he needed to come up and get to campus. I just about puked!

Was that a date? It sounds like a date. hahaha

 

[DenverCountryBoy]

Figure it out.

 

[DenverCountryBoy]

But in seriousness, think about why you have put up with the mooching.

What do you get out of it? Which of your needs are being met that is driving your behavior?

Obviously it is not financial. Is it an emotional need? Companionship? Physical safety of having another person along?

It sounds like not having help with the labor is what pissed you off.

If the cost, financial and physical, is acceptable for whatever need is being fulfilled, you will most likely continue to put up with the mooching.

If the squeeze isn't worth the juice, you will make a change by talking to the mooch or no longer inviting him.

Good luck.
Figure it out.

 

[bsaoneshot]

“Friends of convenience” your the friend with the means, which is convenient for him. I have “had” a few friends like that. Had being the most important word!

 

[shootbrownelk]

I don’t have any friends like that anymore. Had a few though. They are the same ones that take your public land honey holes as well.

The same ones that take all their friends to your spots too. Been there, done that. Screw 'em.

 

[Longrifle]

I hunt alone for this reason. Had several close friends go with me on hunting trips over the years, and now we're not close anymore. We don't go on hunting trips, anyway.

 

[Reburn]

So OP what happened?

Did you say anything?

Did you have the its not you its me talk?

 

[notchfir3]

i can't judge, i am a cheapskate myself

 

[Virginian]

So OP what happened?

Did you say anything?

Did you have the its not you its me talk?

I didn't talk to him for a few days while thinking about it. I decided not to say anything to him about it THIS TIME but in the future, if we do anything I'll have to make sure the terms are clear up front. He doesn't hunt much and mostly just fishes and canoes with me and is an old friend from college. I figured the friendship was worth more than making a big deal over it after thinking about it. But as I say I won't let it happen again.