Am I out of line?

[Lil-Rokslider]

@HuntInWild88 how about an update?

 

[Jack321]

Im intrigued too as to what happened?! Esp since this thread is from 2020! Oh the suspense!

Ok, as a dad who's taking my kids on their very first hunt tomorrow for the states youth season. I can sympathize!

However here's what I would say.

Any healthy marriage needs communication.

Somes WAGs (Wives and Girldfriends) are different! Some want their husband's around. Others are OK with them going.

I let my wife read this thread, and she was like, "I don't need you doting over me! Now, if the baby was a premie, rough labor or a difficult c section that I couldnt drive or had lift restrictions for one reason or another. Thats one thing.

But a normal. Healthy baby, as long as its not something important that day. Go. What are you gonna do, sit and stare at me all day?"


Now, my SISTER IN LAW--ain't no way my brother is going. Hell, when he married her, he basically had to give up hunting.

He only goes on the family tame bird hunt at Thanksgiving! We had to ask his wife 2 years out to go on a WY antelope hunt this upcoming fall! He went to N. Dakota duck hunting one time while they were dating, she won't let him go again!

She's so needy and whiney, when his two were young, he was doing everything cuz she was 'to tired.' She's certainly got him by the balls, and he LOVES to hunt.

So I'd say it's all about communication and personality types.

Listen, I'm a guy who got lucky. My wife let's me pretty much do anything I want and can hunt pretty much whenever I want. We didn't have to have "the talk" while we were dating about my obsession with hunting. But I'd also say that through out our relationship, my growth in all things hunting grew exponentially! So I wasn't as obsessed with hunting back then as I am now. It grew as our relationship grew--like a frog in hot water. Raise the temp slowly.

But my wife and I communicate!

I also tell her that as much as I love to hunt and obsess over it and spend too much money on gear, guns, ammo and everything else for hunting/shooting....she also knows at the drop of a hat, if IT is important to her or the kids, hunting takes a back seat. And I'm completely cool with that.

Family comes first man.

No turkey, deer, goose, or duck is gonna make me think it's more important than my wife and my kids.

Every New Years day, we have a family Xmas party with her side. I hate missing out on a day of goose hunting and usually get bird pile pics from my dad, buddies and other brother....but it's the ONE time of year that we see that side of the family. So I forgo hunting for one day for family time.....family that I only see 1x and it's THAT side of the family [the black sheep side]. But I still give up because it's important to her.

But we communicate those expectations. She knows the family Xmas party pisses me off cuz I hate going, but it's important to her, so I (grudgingly) go. I'm not a grouch or a scrouge at the party, no I play the loving husband part fine. No one is the wiser that I'd rather be in the field. But that's marriage.

To the OP, if my wife gave me the "hell no" look, I would plead my case at first. Then wait til the baby's born and keep it on the back burner see how it goes for the first couple weeks, and if its going OK, maybe TALK about it and explain its something you'd like to do.

You'll know quick if it's possible or not.

And if its not, well I married my wife, not the turkey, and I store it away for brownie points later.

If she knows it means a lot, and she still kept you from going, maybe she'll realize it and you can get some extra leeway in the future! Maybe not.

But that's also the sacrifice of marriage.

Ya know, we hunters like to "embrace the suck" whether it's packing out an elk on our backs, or humping 10 miles in the back country, or withstanding snow/rain/sleet/wind in the duck blind. Why not "embrace the suck" when it comes to marriage or being a dad or being a husband?

Sorry, not sorry, but it takes two to tango and marriage is a two-way street. I'd feel I made a "big boy decision" to have a kid, and a "big boy decision" to marry my wife. And that requires a level of self sacrifice in your role in those relationships. And truthfully the same goes for your wife. She married you, along with all your hopes, dreams and weird idiosyncrasies. And any healthy relationship sees the other person for who they are and also sacrifices for them too.

So again, it comes down to communication and what you and your wife have set up as marriage expectations and personality types.

On the flip side if she wanted to have a mommy-girlfriend day where she and her friends take the day and go shopping or to town for the day, would you take the kid and allow her that release? Similar to your day long turkey hunt?

Something to think about. It's not all about us.

Give and take. Marriages are never 50-50.

Sometimes you give 90% and they can only give 10%. Sometimes they give 60% and you take 40%. It's a balance & a challenge.

Communication.

My $0.02 and now I'm off my soap box.

 

[svivian]

I was gone for a week, thousands of miles away, a week before my first was born beginning of October last year.

Then two weeks after the birth she wanted to go up to her folks mountain property attempting to fill her bull tag.

I also got to hunt November during third season but only for 3 days.

I’ll be gone next month for a week and again end of July for a week.

Throw in archery season and in the first year I’ve had more than my fair share.

Looks like I’m a lucky guy!

 

[Iowafarmer]

I kinda think we men make to big of a deal about having kids a cow can dump a 90 pound calf on the ground and be up and ready to kill ya in seconds same as any other animal humans are the only ones that take weeks to recover I think they take advantage it just cause we can’t do it she’s got ya by the short hairs give in now and it probably won’t change

 

[Smoke_Rutz]

I’m in a similar situation.. but my day or two to hunt turks are a few weeks before due date. Wife is a bit nervous I’ll be a few hours away when she goes into labor. Understandable I suppose


Now as far as the days to hunt after the birth of our first child.. I’m just going to be patient and cross that bridge when we get there. Not even going to bring it up till we see what life is like then.


Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

 

[Weldor]

They have Turkey's in Alaska?

 

[ScreamingPotato]

My wife wouldn't and didn't care with all our kids, but no way I'm fighting that fight for a damn turkey.

 

[yfarm]

I have no daughters or sisters, my advice to my sons about their choices of women goes choose wisely and choose once. Of the two married, my wife and I both thought the advice had been followed, as time has passed we have realized that the packaged item is often not the same when unwrapped. Both have proven to be needy,demanding women focused primarily upon self. Interestingly proving the adage about a woman’s mother being a reflection of that woman later in life. My wife, my mother inlaw,my mother grandmothers and great grandmothers are and were much tougher,more resilent women than what I see today. I have granddaughters I see being raised in the image of their mothers and am fighting to avoid them going down that path. Their fathers are failing to see the risk, saying girls are different.

 

[atmat]

I kinda think we men make to big of a deal about having kids a cow can dump a 90 pound calf on the ground and be up and ready to kill ya in seconds same as any other animal humans are the only ones that take weeks to recover I think they take advantage it just cause we can’t do it she’s got ya by the short hairs give in now and it probably won’t change

I think this is said in jest. But if not, it’s not a very good comparison.

Cattle have a super high stillbirth rate compared to modern society humans. We also don’t cut through their skin, adipose, abdominal wall, and internal organs to get babies out when we need to.

Their babies also come out walking lol.

 

[Iowafarmer]

I think this is said in jest. But if not, it’s not a very good comparison.

Cattle have a super high stillbirth rate compared to modern society humans. We also don’t cut through their skin, adipose, abdominal wall, and internal organs to get babies out when we need to.

Their babies also come out walking lol.

Maybe 1-2% slip a calf early vet will do C section or cut they’re snatch when necessary they still walk away n go back to pasture

 

[loganwayne]

Sitting here holding my two weeks old son... I was 5 hrs away training dogs two days before he was born. Going on a 10 day bird hunting trip already in the fall and at least a couple weekends deer hunting 5 hrs away. We were at a benefit auction and I didn't bid on a 4 day hunting trip that sold stupid cheap and my wife asked why I didn't bid. Told her it was because we having a baby and she said ya he's gonna be 7 months old by then. I'll go on a sharptail hunt one of these days

 

[yfarm]

Sitting here holding my two weeks old son... I was 5 hrs away training dogs two days before he was born. Going on a 10 day bird hunting trip already in the fall and at least a couple weekends deer hunting 5 hrs away. We were at a benefit auction and I didn't bid on a 4 day hunting trip that sold stupid cheap and my wife asked why I didn't bid. Told her it was because we having a baby and she said ya he's gonna be 7 months old by then. I'll go on a sharptail hunt one of these days

Good woman, keeper

 

[JGross1]

 

[hoosierhunter11]

As others have said, you’re both going to need a break. Frame this as self care and make sure you’re clear that you want her to have time too. When that time comes just make sure to hold up your end of the bargain. You both will need to fill your own cup so you’re at your best. My wife and I have 2 girls (3.5 and 1.5) and we’re still trying to figure all this out. It’s not always easy, but you guys will figure it out. Hope your wife has a safe birth and a healthy baby! Congrats