Am I out of line?

[Crowmangler]

remember.. she controls half the money & all the ....

 

[Rich M]

You are either a team player or selfish in this situation.

Some good advice has been given, since you've got plenty of time, don't make a big fuss about it and plan your trip.

You'll be doing less for a while, but it's worth it.

Btw, congratulations!

 

[brettdunn7]

Unless there are complications, newborns are easy to care for. A lot of women (and men) want whatever facebook glory they can get from being the heroic and exhausted new parents and it sets this terrible expectation that caring for a newborn will destroy you physically and mentally.

I do agree with the comments that after the birth she will calm down and be more likely to agree with you going hunting. Continue planning your hunts and be open about it. Also be clear that you are prepared to cancel the trip if you are needed at home.

For what it's worth I relayed your situation to my wife and she agreed with what I said above. We had our first on August 30. It did not affect my hunting at all. She had to be alone for 8-10 hours per day anyway while I was at work and college. Our son was born on Friday and I was back in class and at work on Monday morning. Our culture has grown soft, women have birthed and cared for infants in far worse conditions than are normal today.

On a slightly different note I think it is terrible in a marriage if either spouse has be "let" to do something. Neither spouse truly has control over the other and the idea that a woman "lets" her husband do anything is ridiculous. Likewise the idea that a man "lets" his wife do activities of her choosing is equally ridiculous. You choose your activities with an understanding for how it will affect your wife and you make sure that she knows you are taking her into consideration.

This is the best post simply for the last paragraph. I’ll add in also against the whole happy wife happy life bs as most men won’t admit what makes their wife happy doesn’t always make them happy and often makes them miserable. Men from my experience who have followed that crap lie have a happy wife who has a happy life but have a miserable life themselves.

No you are absolutely not out of line. You are missing NOTHING taking one day in the first month or two of your kids life to go hunting unless you thinking feeding and changing dirty diapers is some dream come true and magical moment.

Do what the majority of sane and reasonable people in this thread have suggested and just drop it for now and discuss it later when the time comes. Treat her to a day off. Help as much as you can and then more with the baby, house chores, cooking etc. This is of course everyone is healthy and no complications with pregnancy etc.


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[Finch]

Congrats! I consider myself very fortunate. Back in April 2013, we were expecting our first child. Opening day of spring gobbler was a Saturday. I went and killed a bird first day. Next day while doing yard work, my wife kept saying she thought it was "time." We went to the hospital (her water broke on the way there- that was an experience) and our daughter was born in like an hour. Close call!

Spent a couple days in the hospital and came home that Tuesday. My wife and mother in law told me if I wanted to go turkey hunting that i better go while the M-in-law was there. So I went that Wednesday and killed another long beard.

I was able to sneak away again that Saturday and killed my third long beard and this time with a bow. 3 hunts and 3 gobblers. My best season ever.

There is a lot of give and take but wife is more understanding than most. Good luck and strap in for one helluva ride!

 

[WV Mountaineer]

It’s something you need to be patient on. No need in set in stone so far out. However, every family is different and, as much as some here would like to say, going hunting wouldn’t be a neglect to your family in this situation. Then again, if circumstances aren’t right, it could be. It’s just too far out to draw a line in the sand.

FWIW, sounds like you married the typical princess. Who’s never had to be anything but what she wanted. Any women who thinks she deserves all your attention, expecting you to give up your desires for hers, is blatantly spoiled and naive. And, isn’t truly committed to the marriage. It’s that simple. No and, ifs, or but’s about it.

Of course, you are going to get the typical responses saying you are out of line. You need to prioritize better, etc.... But, let’s be realistic in that if the situation isn’t right, there’d be no way you’d leave her for hunting. It goes without saying.

You’ll know what’s the right thing to dowhen it’s time to make that decision. Just remember, life is short for you too. And, if you throw you to the back seat to please an unrealistic wife, this ain’t gonna last. A man can only be stepped on so many times before he steps back. So, do t ever let it get to there. Your marriage and family deserves that as much as they deserve you to fill the fatherly role.

You are the new leader of this family. It’s meant to be that way. You provide security and necessity because that’s your role. It should be filled with love, commitment to your family, and mutual respect. Good luck and God Bless

 

[mtwarden]

My wife was pregnant with our first (mid October) and was due pretty soon, but wasn't showing any symptoms so I decided to go deer hunting with a buddy. We got back late afternoon and we went to my house for a little grub. No wife. Didn't think much of it, probably out shopping. My buddy, being smarter than me, looks at the open phone book and sees it's to the hospital- WTF! I drove there fast as I could, luckily not missing anything- phew!

 

[Gearqueer]

Great thread!

It’s threads like this that focus on the really important aspects of a hunter’s life. Thanks to the O.P. for asking a great question, and thanks to everyone giving great responses! Wish I had this much great advice and insight when I was starting my family.


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[Kbhillhunter]

I'd set this one aside until after the baby comes. You may find that you both feel different by then.

 

[Kenn]

If thousands of redneck hunters can't solve your marriage problems who can?

 

[NUGGET]

As a single man nothing got me going faster than when I heard someone say something along the line of “my wife let’s me go hunting whenever” “She doesn’t care how much hunting I do”

There’s plenty of hunting to do in town during hunting season and that’s no joke. If you don’t take care of your wife someone will and that’s a fact.

It’s a damn turkey. I’m more shocked that a turkey hunter even got laid in the first place...

-SANCHO

 

[Ingo]

If thousands of redneck hunters can't solve your marriage problems who can?

If only there was a television program where people could air out their family squabbles, no matter how white-trashy they may be.

Somewhere where wives could reveal that they hooked up with Nugget while the husbands spent that day chasing turkey tails.



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[MeatBuck]

Uhhh well around here we EAT wild game soooo...

I just had baby come Father’s Day and have been out deer hunting like a dozen times already.
If you’ve got to take care of her because of c section or second degree lacerations to the you know what then that’s what you gotta do. But if when the time comes, she has the energy to argue with you about a morning of turkey hunting, then in my mind, she has the energy to care for the baby by herself for a while. And honestly you could(or I could) be home with a bird before they even get up for the day.

The kicker is gonna be do you have the energy to get up at o dark thirty to go hunting after baby and mama have been up feeding puking pissing shitting and crying all night. And even if you do have the energy, you’d better make a list and check it twice because you’ll end up at the trailhead without any arrows like I did the second morning of the season.

To answer your question, to me no you aren’t out of line but it really doesn’t matter what I or anybody else here thinks because ultimately we aren’t having your baby and we aren’t gonna take half your shit in a divorce or file for child support if you take a morning to hunt turkey. However, an unstable hormonal postpartum new mother who’s left home alone for half a day might. You’ll soon find out.

Just do us all a favor and update this thread come turkey season.

 

[COHunter1994]

As some of these other guys have said, and also coming from someone with recent experience (my son just turned 1) I would table this discussion until closer to or after the birth. At least for me personally, everything changed after that boy was born, and I had no interest in hunting that year. Didn't help that I was also in full time school though. Good luck and enjoy the new baby!

 

[Azone]

Bam! Problem solved. A recent scouting trip turned up a few of these in the frozen food isle. Way cheaper than a divorce and no plucking or skinning required. Nothing like a bioengineered bird.