Advice for having a potentially difficult discussion with your hunting partner/Family member.

[fngTony]

Let’s say there has been a minor annoyance over the years and recently became something worse. So nothing illegal or unethical, just a bad habit that lead to necessary difficulties and almost a severe injury. I really want this to be a constructive conversation with a positive outcome but my fear is that this is a habit that is in his DNA and might not be able to be changed.

(Edit to add details). A couple of us were on call for a pack out for his moose hunt. He had no recollection of the bag of gear that he asked for and I left him a week prior with knives headlamp game bags etc. (has been working and living out of state so he didn’t have much of his own stuff available). So four of us get to deal with a moose with one good headlamp a couple good knives only two game bags a game cart and one pack. Long story short, I’m packing meat out in the dark with a crap headlamp (let him use mine since he was cutting his moose)
on dying batteries and take a fall (thankfully I was fine). Upon the last trip of meat we find this bag of gear in the last cooler that we opened. Anyway I worked all day drove 3 1/2 hours up there and it could’ve been much smoother and I would’ve preferred not to take a fall in the dark with 80 pounds on my back.

 

[Poser]

I don’t think anyone can advise you in this situation without knowing the particulars.

 

[Rob5589]

Go about it truthfully and factually. You can only control your actions, not theirs. Good luck.

 

[Laramie]

Tackle the issue head on. Don't beat around the bush as that would likely be insulting in the end. I have been on both ends of tough discussions in life quite a few times- they always go smoother when approached straight on but with empathy.

 

[ReddingArcher]

Yep don’t beat around the bush. I always think it’s better to be straight up and tell someone there’s an issue. It doesn’t help anyone to not be honest with people.

 

[fngTony]

I don’t think anyone can advise you in this situation without knowing the particulars.

edited my original post with details

 

[Scoot]

I don’t think anyone can advise you in this situation without knowing the particulars.

A generic description can get you a generic answer, but really nothing more. **Details added after I said this.

20 years ago I would have 100% agree with "honest and straight forward and it'll all be fine". Now I know "honest and straight forward" is always best, but it doesn't always end fine. Gotta pick your battles and sometimes the best thing to say/do is nothing.

Good luck- I hope it turns out as well as it can.

 

[540-Virginian]

Use the Situtaion Behavior Impact framework when giving feedback. Google it.

 

[Mike7]

I have a couple kids who always borrowed my stuff when they forgot theirs. They got necessary gear like headlamps every Christmas from me. I knew they weren't responsible, so I always brought extra.

But as they became older teenagers I gradually made them "suffer" more and more before letting them use the extra gear that I brought, which gradually made them more responsible for themselves.

Now that they are young adults trying to get their friends into the outdoors, they call me complaining about how utterly dangerous and unprepared their friends are in the outdoors and how they have to be prepared with extra headlamps, etc. so that none of these city kid friends need to call in search and rescue. I just laugh and say "oh really".

 

[FLATHEAD]

"Better Tighten Up!!"

 

[MattB]

Presuming I am reading this correctly - tell him you want to have a blunt conversation and that, while you appreciate your friendship and enjoy hunting with him, this most recent situation and prior similar situations are making it difficult for you to continue to do so because they have implications to your personal safety. Further, tell him you would appreciate that he pull it together to avoid future situations like this. In the event he fails in the future, you have that conversation to look back to.

You might also add that you and others you hunt with would have not left camp to hunt in the first place w/o having pulled the necessary gear together to quickly and safely butcher game.

 

[Poser]

edited my original post with details

So, he’s consistently forgetful/absentminded when it comes to preparation?

Sounds like he asked for gear, you provided it, he had no recollection of having it? And that’s a theme?

 

[long hunter]

Cant fix stupid

 

[fngTony]

So, he’s consistently forgetful/absentminded when it comes to preparation?

Sounds like he asked for gear, you provided it, he had no recollection of having it? And that’s a theme?

In a nutshell yes.

 

[RLSfl620]

+1 for shooting them straight and being upfront about it.

 

[grappling_hook]

Sorry you're in a tough spot OP, and good luck with the conflict resolution.

It does remind me of this scene from Deer Hunter, though:

Trigger warning on that clip, though (literal trigger warning-- lol some improper gun handling here)

 

[Cliffy65]

Hunt solo = problem solved.

 

[Broomd]

Honesty and tact, that's what i've learned in 50+ years--advice probably worth exactly what I'm charging for it...

 

[fngTony]

Honesty and tact, that's what i've learned in 50+ years--advice probably worth exactly what I'm charging for it...

We’ll see about the “tact” if he brings back all my stuff . Good advice though

 

[rayporter]

i have a bud like that. he will never change.

he has forgot his mess kit
his sleeping bag
his elk tag
his scabbard

and numerous other small things.
and he thinks i am a pest when i ask if he has anything important.