What do you do?

[rodney482]

Treat her like a queen 9 months out
of the year.. The other 3 months she
knows I will be hunting alot!!

Bringing home presents for her and
the daughters also goes a long ways

I save 2 weeks for family vacations
as well..

 

[7mag.]

I treat my wife the way I want to be treated. I don't ask for permission, because I don't need it. I am a grown man, I support my family, so my only hobby (hunting) is a large priority in my life. My wife understands, she doesn't always like it, but, I don't ever question the need for the activities she enjoys. If it is not hunting season, or if I don't have a scouting trip planned, I am happy to stay at home with my son so she can do what she wants. We discuss finances a lot, and we both are very understanding of the things the other wants or needs. Working as a team, is in my opinion, the only way a marriage really works, where both parties are happy.

 

[ktowncamo]

I treat my wife the way I want to be treated. I don't ask for permission, because I don't need it. I am a grown man, I support my family, so my only hobby (hunting) is a large priority in my life. My wife understands, she doesn't always like it, but, I don't ever question the need for the activities she enjoys. If it is not hunting season, or if I don't have a scouting trip planned, I am happy to stay at home with my son so she can do what she wants. We discuss finances a lot, and we both are very understanding of the things the other wants or needs. Working as a team, is in my opinion, the only way a marriage really works, where both parties are happy.

Pretty much sums it up there. Nicely said.

Yea, I'm pretty lucky myself. Never had to ask for permission and quite frankly between climbing trips, ski mountaineering, and hunting trips she's never said "no". Oh I know when I've pushed it a little far with being selfish but on the flipside she's awesome and realizes when I "need" some mountain time and she'll push me out the door (like the time I killed my bull elk, she was the one encouraging me to go hunt when I had 50 reasons why I didn't have time that afternoon). I think she likes hearing the tales of my hunts and other outdoor adventures, at least she loves me enough to ask and listen to my ramblings. She loves the outdoors and camping (not really interested in hunting or fishing though) so we hike as a family and schedule camping trips, and she's fine with us camping and hiking in areas that happen to be locations I'm fond of hunting or scouting in. We all know when we're pushing things too far and when it's time to be less selfish and give her and the kids more of our time, attention and love. I've never regretted the time spent with the family/kids and I often think of those things when I'm out hunting, smile on my face.

 

[david long]

Thanks a lot for starting this thread Beastmode!

My wife Cheryl just read this thread and now it's gonna cost me! Lol.

 

[billy molls]

Honey do

The only thing that I do extra for my wife, who lets me guide for up to 100 days in Alaska each year, is I naturally treat my family better, and spend more quality time with them before I leave and after I come home. She understands that being in the wilderness and doing something that I am passionate about, makes me a better husband and father.

That........ and about 3 days of honey-do's when I get home!!!

 

[dotman]

The only thing that I do extra for my wife, who lets me guide for up to 100 days in Alaska each year, is I naturally treat my family better, and spend more quality time with them before I leave and after I come home. She understands that being in the wilderness and doing something that I am passionate about, makes me a better husband and father.

That........ and about 3 days of honey-do's when I get home!!!

Only 3 days you get off easy.

 

[Tookeymonster]

I had it in the Wedding Vows that I am allowed to go hunting when ever I want. I have 300 witnesses. Smartest thing I ever did.

 

[marshrat]

I treat my wife the way I want to be treated. I don't ask for permission, because I don't need it. I am a grown man, I support my family, so my only hobby (hunting) is a large priority in my life. My wife understands, she doesn't always like it, but, I don't ever question the need for the activities she enjoys. If it is not hunting season, or if I don't have a scouting trip planned, I am happy to stay at home with my son so she can do what she wants. We discuss finances a lot, and we both are very understanding of the things the other wants or needs. Working as a team, is in my opinion, the only way a marriage really works, where both parties are happy.

Thank God. I was tired of hearing all of the "permission, hall passes, buying her stuff, building time, her letting me go." I think I'm the most blessed guy in the world to have a wife who not only enjoys what I enjoy, but genuinely desires that I have my hunting time. Please don't think I'm bad-mouthing anyone, but that just grinds on me when discussing this. Comes up every season on every forum. I know I'm blessed. In fact, my wife bought me a pistol on Mother's Day. I wasn't really understanding what she was implying, but it was a gun, and I didn't argue.

 

[Heather Stomper]

Well said and spot on 7Mag!
My wife gets very exercise, to say the least, when she jumps on other forums and sees the hall pass, permission, letting me go crap.
Marriage is not a 50/50 proposition, it's a 100/100 team.
I travel a ton for work, in the summer she works for horse trainer and shows horses nearly every week, so we have lots of time apart. That said, when fall comes she knows I'm going to go hunting. She is always invited, but hates being cold. So, rather than hunt, she is fine with shooting. Last year we did 3 combat handgun courses and shot the AR's and rifles a ton. I took her to Kansas to hunt buffalo. In 2004 we went to S Africa and she spent 2 weeks hunting in a T-shirt! In August we are going back and spending 2 weeks hunting in T-shirts!
May 16 was our 20 year anniversary and somehow we have managed to allow each other the space to pursue our individual passions as well as those we share. My fall is spent with two of my best friends (incidentally all the wives get along and enjoy spending time together as well) who I met through the wonder of the internet. My wife knows I need and cherish the time with these guys and says go, have fun, go crazy far and shoot some mule deer, laugh til you cry in the tipi each night and plan for next year.
As one of my partners and I have been known to say, "we chose well".

 

[Rent Outdoor Gear]

I make her pack bait

 

[bearguide]

i got lucky also when i married rebecca

 

[Aron Snyder]

I'm on my 3rd wife, so you don't want any advice from me

 

[Nick Muche]

Nice one Aron!

 

[HellsCanyon]

I am not married but have been with the same girl for the past 4 years and we've known each other since high school. To make things more interesting we've done 90% of our relationship long distance. Between me working summer jobs in OR, WY, MT, and WA, going to different colleges, and her a few years behind in getting her degree there are multiple factors that make it hard for me to take solo trips on the weekends. When we haven't seen each other in a few weeks time and I'm choosing to not see her instead of going hunting, it can put us against each other. I always make time to see her when I have a 'free' weekend and always give her A LOT of advanced notice on what hunting trips I have planned for the year... She's also started to realize that my hobbies are year round activities, and she is dealing with it well, she just knows that fall time is a time when we will probably not see eachother very much.

I believe if we do decide to go ahead and tie the knot that we'll have a far easier time of it. Compared to doing 70-80% of a 4 year relationship long distance, I think a month or three out of the year she will be fine with me taking time off. Especially if she is along for 80% of my hunting trips. She loves the outdoors, shot her first buck last year and is a tough hiker (she works for the USFS during the summers, has fought fire, and got an invite for a SHOT crew last summer), WON'T complain, and is a great shot. She grew up with a father/brothers who hunted and has no problem gutting/quartering her own game. At this point she is fairly new to the back country hunting game, and our main problems lie in combining my hobbies with balancing a long distance relationship. One year left of school for her and then we'll see where we're at.

Mike

 

[HighUintas]

We make sure each other's needs are being met; both our personal needs and our needs for our relationship and family. We try to be understanding of the other person and make sure I'm not being too selfish.

 

[Idaho_Potato]

Getting divorced certainly helps the issue. She didn't like the hunting trips. She also had absolutely zero hobbies after several years of marriage, so any expenses related to hunting were a huge issue. It was odd looking back because we were financially doing very well. Zero kids double income. Money was a big contributor to it ending. Make sure you are 100% on the same page with whoever you sign your life away to. Think really hard about what compromises you can tolerate early on in your relationship. That fuzzy glow of a new relationship/new marriage won't carry you along forever.

Typing this from my last day in the office this week. Truck is loaded out in the parking lot. Will be on the mountain grilling elk over the camp fire by dark.

 

[Poser]

#realtalk

 

[Poser]

Whether it be a wife or girlfriend... What do you do to keep her happy so you can go hunting, packing, fishing.....whatever you like to do? We all realize that we need to keep her happy to be able to do all the things we love so much. What do you guys do?

I started to include my wife in all my scouting trips. Teaching her how to fly fish. It may not let me put all the hours that I'd like to into scouting but we get to spend quality time together and enjoy the backcountry together. It also gives her some piece of mind, knowing somewhat where I am during hunting season.

The real root of this question goes much deeper than what you asked. Go back and reread what you wrote and think about it for a few minutes.

“What do you do to keep her happy so you can do X?”

Let that sink in deep. What you are really asking is for advice on manipulating the relationship so you can do the things that you want to do without resentment. If you are having To ask that question, then your relationship is built on the principle of appeasement and concessions and those concessions fall squarely on your shoulders and not your spouses. If this is the case, then either the relationship will end in divorce or you will continue a long, slow slide of appeasement and concessions.

Make no mistake, this isn’t “compromise”, this is appeasement and the balance of power in the relationship is not in your favor, rather it is built on avoiding your spouse’s resentment.

 

[Idaho_Potato]

The real root of this question goes much deeper than what you asked. Go back and reread what you wrote and think about it for a few minutes.

“What do you do to keep her happy so you can do X?”

Let that sink in deep. What you are really asking is for advice on manipulating the relationship so you can do the things that you want to do without resentment. If you are having To ask that question, then your relationship is built on the principle of appeasement and concessions and those concessions fall squarely on your shoulders and not your spouses. If this is the case, then either the relationship will end in divorce or you will continue a long, slow slide of appeasement and concessions.

Make no mistake, this isn’t “compromise”, this is appeasement and the balance of power in the relationship is not in your favor, rather it is built on avoiding your spouse’s resentment.

Ouch, that hits hard and hits the nail on the head. It takes a smarter person than me to figure out how to keep a marriage/relationship from devolving into this.

 

[Jn78]

1. Be nice to her
2. Always give her veto power on a trip (she has never said stay home)
3. Stay in touch while I am gone
4. Carry an Inreach in case something happens
5. Cook her very tasty elk, deer, and antelope meat
6. Always come back from a hunting trip in a good mood
7. Build her stuff - right now I am working on a patio with a pergola