Vasectomy

[Moserkr]

Damn so far no one with a non-self inflicted complication. Ill tell you a story but it aint about me.

My old man had it done, dunno how many years ago. Parents tell me down the line about it, after a few drinks of course, and how his nuts swelled up to the size of grapefruits!! Hell if I know why, but good to know I can carry a gallon of whatever in my nutsack lol.

Im sorry to those with a weak pull out game, and to guys using condoms, bless their hearts. Just me personally, will never, ever let a man touch my balls, let alone with needles, soldering devices, scissors, knives, or any other objects like those. Say that out loud and you sound crazy if you are just like “hey yea, just my sunday afternoon plans, doctor bill, we go way back, hes going to poke my balls with a needle, cut open my sack with a knife, then cauterize my nut tubes with a soldering iron, then more needles to sew me back up. But hey theres a hot nurse!! Smells like burnt flesh. How does steak sound for dinner?” WTF thats insane!! Then you end up wanting another kid, so you do it again to go the other way?? Then what, back again??? Nope. Ill take the chance of 12 kids. Hell, sold insurance to a guy with 5 kids, I commented on his nice family of young kids, and found out the 5th was a surprise…. Guess what, he had a vasectomy.

Wife wants me to get one, nope. She said “k well im done with the pills and kids”. Sounds good, she knows the rules. Thank God we choose our own destiny. Mine is not at the doctors.

 

[EastHumboldt]

A shot in the arm is more painful 9/10 times.

I’ve had dozens of shots in the arm. None of them were memorable. That shot in the Balzac I remember well. Lidocaine stings pretty sharp u til the numbness sets in. Wish I’d have thought of that thing about gotta drain the tank before or after surgery. Brilliant!!

 

[Riplip]

It really is not that big of deal, the anxiety of the procedure is ten time worse than the actual procedure. If you are really concerned most doctors will give you a valium drip to calm you down, and the next the its over.

A few more pro-tips:
- If you are a sports fan try to schedule the procedure on a Friday before a big game or event. I did mine right before the masters golf tourney, got to lay around and watch the tourney all weekend for recovery.
- Don.t expect too much sympathy from the wife, remember she goes through pregnancy and labor.

 

[jbsmith1]

Here is my reply to a previous post regarding the same thing:

Very attractive prep nurse shaved my thigh, slapped the grounding pad on and slopped iodine everywhere
Doc numbed the boys up, and then electrocuted the **** out of me when he activated the cautery knife
It didn't hurt per se, I just couldn't move anything
Doc sort of shouts/loudly states "RELAX", to which I tried to reply, but mostly mumbled through clenched teeth
He finally figures out what's going on and releases the foot pedal
He then re-shaves the spot on my thigh to a much more suitable size for the grounding pad
Away we go on attempt number two
Fifteen minutes later, we're done

I don't regret it and only really have two gripes, and, no, being electrocuted isn't one of them. I absolutely hate the stubble period for pubic hair, so damn annoying. The second gripe has to do with blue balls. Of course we've all had them at some point in time, but I know they are worse now than they were before. I don't know if that's directly related, but the timing sure seems appropriate to me. That's not to say I get them often. I have a very healthy sex life with the wifey, but included in that is certainly a time here and there where it is simply teasing and nothing more. Those are the days I know I'm going to be in a little bit more pain than before the snip.

I'd do it again tomorrow, if needed.

 

[Sccritterkiller]

Just take all the Valium they give at once...I dont remember a thing. The wife still isnt happy about me asking the nurse if it was ok if my sample had saliva in it while she was standing next to me.
When home sat on the couch with a bag of frozen peas, pain pills, and cold beer for the weekend. Schedule it on Thursday or Friday and you be fine by Monday. Pro tip...Doc said he busiest day of the year is the Wed before March Madness.

 

[Finch]

Wasn't bad for me either. That numbing shot to the vas deferens was something to say the least. It felt like yellow jackets stinging me and I could feel the numbing agent (stinging) travel up the tubes. Other than that, no big deal. Definitely take it easy and be prepared for a rainbow colored sack.

 

[Rob5589]

Plenty of info already so I'll just add; keep up on the icing, wear supportive briefs, make your appt on Friday you'll be back at work Monday, job dependent of course.

 

[mitchellmountain]

The shot was really no big deal, hardly remember it. I was one of the weird ones that had complications. When they pull out the tubes my right one must have been adhered up high. No pain at all till the moment he tugged on the right side and it pretty much sat me up. He asked if I wanted another shot and I told him to just finish up.
Here’s the part where my experience differs from the vast majority. I had pain( 1-2/10) for a couple months that would spike to 4-5 during sex( I’m a good soldier and marched on through the pain)That subsided after a few months and only had slight pain (1-2) during sex for 8 months.
My bruising was also a little extreme, right side of my sack all the way up the side of my wang was dark purple for weeks.
If I had to do it all over again, I would in a heartbeat. We have 3 great kids but 3 is enough today and to never have to pull and pray or wear a condom again a few months ago pain was a small price to pay.
My experience was an anomaly, the vast majority do not have anything like this.

 

[Whisky]

Very timely. I was just looking at doctors last night, before I saw this thread. I'm getting closer to go time. The wife is starting to lose her patience.. The plan was to have it after my last kid.
He just turned two, so I probably procrastinated long enough.

 

[wtrbrdm]

Ask a question about an Elk GMU.....3 replies in 2 days. Ask about getting your balls cut off......everyone replies....lol. Surprised it's remained politics free so far.

In all seriousness, I had the scalpel-less one done a few months back. The shot goes into your sack not into your actual balls....little sting.....done. I drove home myself and did the proverbial peas. for 2 days....chill on the couch. You'll get some normal swelling and then it's done.....no issues.

1. Get 3 bags of peas to rotate through them as they thaw.
2. Wear boxer briefs or something tight to keep your boys from hangin' and bouncin' for a week or so.
3. Shave your junk yourself that morning. They don't like having to shave balls more than you would.
4. Figure out your Netflix watch list beforehand.
5. Wait the recommended time before you shoot your first post procedure shot.
6. Remember that the nurses and docs see hundreds of shriveled dicks a year and could not care less about yours.
7. Do NOT, I repeat...do NOT go to the Urologist in Colorado Springs by the hospital. The prep nurse is 27, blonde, full sleeve tattoos and an absolute stunner. Worst experience since getting a boner in 6th grade and having to walk to the chalkboard.

I pay my last child support payment this June and that motivation alone had me skipping into the office like a kid on Christmas.

 

[NDGuy]

So while everyone is in here, any honey holes to share?

 

[The_Jim]

I got mine just about 3 months ago. The procedure is more awkward than painful. I'll add another vote to wearing really tight fitting underwear.

Just go for it. Plus birth control really messes up a woman's hormones and you'll probably like your wife better off of it.

 

[BluMtn]

Isn't that big of a deal. Little un-nerving when you have two male nurses working on your junk. But we just visited about different things to keep my mind off of what was going on. I freaked a little when I could see them pull the cord out of my sack and cut it and cauterize it. But as mentioned before, take time off, ice the sack and you will be fine. I was suppose to go back and get tested but I figure when I saw them pull the chord out and cut it and burn it, I would be ok. No lifting, no jumping, no running. Stay comfortable on the couch and after a week the steer is ready to go. Also as mentioned above, you better tell the other half that at least for a month or so you need a function check to make sure everything works correctly. The least she can do for you.

 

[bobinmi]

I had the option to choose conscious sedation but I would need a driver. I didn't want to impose on anyone and chose not to have sedation. For me that was a poor choice. Pretty uncomfortable.

Its a routine outpatient procedure, if you force your wife to get her tubes tied during a procedure that isn't related to C-section, I think you're a bitch. Seriously invasive surgery for the wife or simple outpatient for the guy... seems pretty simple to me. Also, a lot of you must be absolutely terrified that there are some underlying tendencies if you're that concerned about a male medical professional touching your penis. Scared it might move?

 

[Azone]

Very timely. I was just looking at doctors last night, before I saw this thread. I'm getting closer to go time. The wife is starting to lose her patience.. The plan was to have it after my last kid.
He just turned two, so I probably procrastinated long enough.

My wife and I said we were done after my second daughter was born. Now my daughters have a little brother.

 

[sveltri]

I was prescribed valium to take before the procedure, some of drug jokes were not funny to the doc and nurse, but a couple were real bangers. The doc had to drop the cauterizer a couple times because he was laughing so hard. I sat in my chair for a few days with an ice pack. I know too many guys that tried to do too much too fast and ended up in pain for months afterward. I was down for four days and never had any issues.

 

[Randle]

Been about 30 years ago now. Was awake , doc and nurse were talking about golf or some crazy thing to take my mind off it. He asked what i think, I said Doc "You can talk about anything you want just dont say. OOPS. "
Keep it lighthearted youll be fine

 

[Whisky]

Just go for it. Plus birth control really messes up a woman's hormones and you'll probably like your wife better off of it.

My wife and I said we were done after my second daughter was born. Now my daughters have a little brother.

Two very valid points!!! I have initiated contact to schedule the procedure.

 

[flatlanderhuffandpuff]

So while everyone is in here, any honey holes to share?

Once I get the procedure I'm headed back to my honey hole. You're not allowed to come along.

 

[KsRancher]

I have been putting it off. But time go get it done. I guess since this thread brought it up, I will make the phone call to get the appointment. My wife should have had her tubes tied. But she was young and wasn't sure if she was done. We were both young and the thought didn't even cross our minds. We were both 23yrs old and she was laying on the table after getting her 2nd C-section done. And the doc was sewing her uterus back together. When he done with that he asked. "While I am here, am I preventing this from happening again". She said "no" the same time I said "yes". Doc said "okay" and put it all back inside and finished up. She wishes now she would have, but I understand why she didn't.