Traditional vs Elope

[dreadi]

Neither. Spent about $2,800 with dinner, not including rings.

 

[Howard94]

Those that have gotten married, if you could do it all over again would you do a traditional wedding or Elope?

Elope! Go somewhere fun. Enjoy your time with you and your wife without distractions. The wedding should only be about you and your wife. A traditional wedding won’t give you that. Inevitably there’s personalities that need to be managed, people will want to cause a scene/make it about them…….it always happens. If I had to do it again I would take my closest family and friends and have a destination wedding. You can always have some sort of party when you get back to celebrate but tbh the traditional wedding and reception is almost always more for your guests than it is you and your wife.

 

[Wrench]

My wife and I got married by a friend of mine without a reception nor any guests.

Some of my friends spent thousands and thousands on the wedding and more on the honeymoon. We spent about $18 on everything. 15 years later our house and cars are paid off and my friends who spent the most on the wedding are still buried in debt.

Pay attention to the expectations to make sure you can afford to be married.

 

[Halky010]

I told my partner over and over again we should just go an elope. But he wants to share it with family and friends, so I agreed to have the whole big shindig. Now I have gotten all excited about it now once I have started planning. I wouldn't mind either to be honest. I'll tell you next year if I regret it haha!

 

[cjdewese]

I would say whatever you can afford comfortably. We did a small ceremony with friends and family at my dads house. We had a great time and a cool wedding 10 years ago. A lot of people have said it was their favorite wedding experience.

With that being said it only cost us like a grand out of pocket. If you have to go into debt don't do it that way.

If her parents have been saving for this, talk to them and see if you could have 1/2 of anything left. My brothers wife's parents had put away $ for the wedding and they were able to do this and it worked out well.

 

[Brucebarker024]

Those that have gotten married, if you could do it all over again would you do a traditional wedding or Elope?

Elope, way more relaxed, people act upset in the beginning but they just end up happy for you in the end. My wife and I got married with a traditional wedding and it was great but to do it again we would elope.

PS: if you need a kickass elopement photographer I married one

 

[Jmort1754]

Elope, way more relaxed, people act upset in the beginning but they just end up happy for you in the end. My wife and I got married with a traditional wedding and it was great but to do it again we would elope.

PS: if you need a kickass elopement photographer I married one

Oh yeah? For what locations does she do?

 

[Brucebarker024]

Oh yeah? For what locations does she do?

Just about anywhere. For example she was in Italy, Mexico, Hawaii, and Montana this year.

She does traditional weddings and elopements. Based out of Oregon.

https://www.hannabarkerphoto.com/

 

[Ryan Rothhaar]

We went to Walmart, bought rings, then went to the justice of the peace down the road. Told everyone about it after. She has a little bit better ring now and I still have my Walmart 10k now, 24 years later. Zero regrets.

R

 

[M1SF1T]

We did it in my Aunt's backyard.

Good music, good food, lots of beverages, close family and friends ended up about 100 people and it was s great party.

Keep it SIMPLE, save your money. We spent a few thousand dollars and don't regret anything. That's how I would do it if I did it again.

 

[doc holiday13]

My one and only wedding was very non trad. Order of events

-Dinner meal without assignedseats
-Self written vows
-"Receiving" line where my wife and I greeted people and served pie(we had 20ish pies ofdifferent type)
- dancing with a caller

We had about 100 people and everyone still says our wedding wasthe most fun wedding they've ever been to

 

[Stubborn_bowhunter]

Eloping this year. We came to the conclusion that we don't want to spend our time worrying about everyone else having a good time.

 

[grfox92]

I know multiple people who are very close to me who have told me how much they regret spending $40-100k on their wedding. Some have told me it is their biggest regret in life.

Me and my wife knew we would be married but considered it a formality. We bought a house, had our first kid and then decided to get married at town hall by the town clerk.

We spent that money on things that are actually important, rather than throwing a party for people to complain that the steak was dry under their breath.

Sent from my SM-G990U using Tapatalk

 

[98XJRC]

Our wedding didn't cost much and was "affordable" at the time. Neither of us had much money when we jumped into it,14 years later and 4 kids we're still going at it. Our kids were just looking through the picture slides the other week and enjoyed seeing them particularly our daughter.

After the wedding we both said that we should have eloped due to some drama with my mother, but if we did it again today I don't know if we would do it any different other then being more firm and setting clear expectations. Most women dream of the day they get married and picture themselves being walked down the isle by their father. If considering eloping and on good terms with family I would recommend having them involved in the ceremony. Granted a lot of that depends on yours and her relationship with family.

 

[9.1]

The middle ground is where it's at. Weddings should be about the marriage. That should include inviting a limited group family and friends who are going to genuinely want to celebrate your union and support you as a couple long term. I've personally appreciated the encouragement from family and the guys who stood up with me at my small ceremony during times when my marriage wasn't easy.

Throwing an expensive party to get everyone you know and their brother drunk for one night is a waste of money.

 

[MuleyFever]

My wife and I got married just outside the Zion park boundary with my parents, a friend photographer and the officiant. It was great.

 

[AndrewMT34]

Another vote for Elope, then dinner with parents/close friends afterwards.

 

[Dos Perros]

Has anyone considered that getting through a traditional wedding is meant to be a test of the couple's mettle? It's a pretty good way to find out how financially responsible someone is, how organized they are, how they react to stress, what's actually important to them, etc.

 

[cnelk]

Has anyone considered that getting through a traditional wedding is meant to be a test of the couple's mettle? It's a pretty good way to find out how financially responsible someone is, how organized they are, how they react to stress, what's actually important to them, etc.

A 5 day road trip before getting married would be a great test of the couple's mettle.

 

[307]

Has anyone considered that getting through a traditional wedding is meant to be a test of the couple's mettle? It's a pretty good way to find out how financially responsible someone is, how organized they are, how they react to stress, what's actually important to them, etc.

This seems to be the equivalent of sighting in your rifle at a trophy class animal IMO.

To OP, circumstances will determine what makes the most sense. If I was marrying a fairly local girl and there were families that were being brought together, a wedding seems reasonable. Expensive is always a relative term and sometimes these weddings can be as much about local/regional power structures and networking as much as the couple, so that might vary greatly.

If I was marrying someone not from the area and there will be minimal or no family interaction in the future, I'm eloping without a second thought.

So, it depends on a lot of factors which only the OP knows in any detail.