Things from the backcountry that you cant unsee...

[260madman]

Or stay out of Colorado and California. Seems like almost all the stories are have taken place in one of the two.

Same place aren’t they? Crazies flock there.

 

[Luziana Feller]

so i became the offender in someone else's "things you see in the backcountry that you can't unsee" story...

it was Day 4. we were pretty far off the beaten path and hadn't seen another soul in a couple days. mid day we were taking care of some camp chores and i decided to get a quick bath in the stream near camp. it was right were the old rough gravel road dead ended and there was a little turn around...you probably know where this is going now...

about the time i was all lathered up, a range rover full of sky high hippies and 2 huskies came around the road doing about 60 and whipped it around about 20 yards from me. there i stood in ankle deep water and not a stitch of clothing on between me and God. all i could is waive lol

 

[Gunnersdad49]

In an area near where I live, I actually came across a couple that was freaking out on mushrooms. They were both hypothermic after being lost all night and not being able to find their car. They were about 20 yards from it. Were both actually in pretty bad shape as they had spent the whole night in the dirt in shorts/shirts/no shoes.

I was driving up a canyon at 0300 to get to my spot to hike in as the sun came up. I drove around a corner and in the middle of the two lane road was ... something. My brain couldn't process what it was seeing. Mountain Lion? I slowed down, rolled down the window, and brought the passenger side of the truck right up to it. I heard a woman screaming for help. It was two naked hippies, guy and girl, rolled together in a ball on the centerline of the road. I grabbed the Glock, thinking he was assaulting her.

Turns out they took "a clear liquid" at a hippie concert that someone gave them, started tripping balls, and walked down by the river. They felt warm and euphoric, so they stripped naked. Then they got cold. The asphalt was warm. So they balled up on the road.

I let them ride in the bed of the truck back to the concert venue (Mishawaka for Colorado folks that are curious). I didn't want naked weirdos in the cab of my truck. He hopped out. Still naked as a Jay Bird. She wouldn't get out of the bed of the truck, and he tried pulling her out by her arm. She screamed like he was ripping her flesh off. He asked me to help get her out of the truck. I refused to touch her. Then she said "I think I'm going to shit my pants". I calmly explained that she wasn't wearing any pants and that if she shit in my truck I was going to throw her into the river.

 

[Yooper]

I was driving up a canyon at 0300 to get to my spot to hike in as the sun came up. I drove around a corner and in the middle of the two lane road was ... something. My brain couldn't process what it was seeing. Mountain Lion? I slowed down, rolled down the window, and brought the passenger side of the truck right up to it. I heard a woman screaming for help. It was two naked hippies, guy and girl, rolled together in a ball on the centerline of the road. I grabbed the Glock, thinking he was assaulting her.

Turns out they took "a clear liquid" at a hippie concert that someone gave them, started tripping balls, and walked down by the river. They felt warm and euphoric, so they stripped naked. Then they got cold. The asphalt was warm. So they balled up on the road.

I let them ride in the bed of the truck back to the concert venue (Mishawaka for Colorado folks that are curious). I didn't want naked weirdos in the cab of my truck. He hopped out. Still naked as a Jay Bird. She wouldn't get out of the bed of the truck, and he tried pulling her out by her arm. She screamed like he was ripping her flesh off. He asked me to help get her out of the truck. I refused to touch her. Then she said "I think I'm going to shit my pants". I calmly explained that she wasn't wearing any pants and that if she shit in my truck I was going to throw her into the river.

Looks like we have our winner!

 

[805Bowhunter]

I was driving up a canyon at 0300 to get to my spot to hike in as the sun came up. I drove around a corner and in the middle of the two lane road was ... something. My brain couldn't process what it was seeing. Mountain Lion? I slowed down, rolled down the window, and brought the passenger side of the truck right up to it. I heard a woman screaming for help. It was two naked hippies, guy and girl, rolled together in a ball on the centerline of the road. I grabbed the Glock, thinking he was assaulting her.

Turns out they took "a clear liquid" at a hippie concert that someone gave them, started tripping balls, and walked down by the river. They felt warm and euphoric, so they stripped naked. Then they got cold. The asphalt was warm. So they balled up on the road.

I let them ride in the bed of the truck back to the concert venue (Mishawaka for Colorado folks that are curious). I didn't want naked weirdos in the cab of my truck. He hopped out. Still naked as a Jay Bird. She wouldn't get out of the bed of the truck, and he tried pulling her out by her arm. She screamed like he was ripping her flesh off. He asked me to help get her out of the truck. I refused to touch her. Then she said "I think I'm going to shit my pants". I calmly explained that she wasn't wearing any pants and that if she shit in my truck I was going to throw her into the river.

This is completely hysterical. Was a good story that got significantly better at the end. I still cant stop laughing.

 

[JWP58]

You dont have to go to the woods to see F'ed up stuff. Just go to your local neighborhood park. I've found everything from tweakers twackin, dude hanging from a rope (almost had a heart attack) , to all sorts of drunken craziness.

City parks are disgusting.

 

[Dustin the wind]

You dont have to go to the woods to see F'ed up stuff. Just go to your local neighborhood park. I've found everything from tweakers twackin, dude hanging from a rope (almost had a heart attack) , to all sorts of drunken craziness.

City parks are disgusting.

Dare I ask what twackin is?

 

[JWP58]

Dare I ask what twackin is?

Well you see twackin is when someone is so high on meth they are waaaaay past tweaking. I'd say its usually a couple of days in (or they're shooting it). You learn a lot of interesting things from dopers lol

 

[Dos Perros]

One time a whole passenger train, or at least one half of it, saw me going #2. Before that I never saw trains on that stretch.

 

[Dustin the wind]

Well you see twackin is when someone is so high on meth they are waaaaay past tweaking. I'd say its usually a couple of days in (or they're shooting it). You learn a lot of interesting things from dopers lol

Damn, seen my share of twackin then, so glad I left twackville OR, I wonder what level 3 would be? twockin? twickin? twuckin? Must be the level right before you get shot by the cops.

 

[Kevin Dill]

Sitting in a treestand 25' above a scrape in WV.....perfect November morning. Something's on the way....footsteps. It turns out to be (what looks like) a father and son bowhunters. They were actually stalking through the woods with arrows nocked and ready to shoot. Amusing, but not what I hoped to see. Unfortunately they headed my direction and ended up about 15 yards from my tree. The father leaned his bow against a sapling and then began unzipping his fly as he walked bowlegged toward the scrape. I was really frustrated. The guy is standing there....right below me....pissing in full stream with his eyes half closed when I hit my limit.

"YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO DO THAT HERE!".....in my deepest bossiest voice.
The poor guy reflexively jerked his tool back into his camo....midstream of course....and pissed all over himself and his hands. His eyes were suddenly wide open and he spun 360 degrees. He finally found me in the tree and I thought "here comes the tongue lashing". The icebreaker was his son who saw the whole thing and was tied up in fits of laughter....literally wiping tears.

_________________________________________________

And then there was a warm sunny day in Alaska when I went to the creek to do a splash bath. I was 50 miles from the nearest airstrip (aside from my own) and 125% naked standing in the cold water. I thought maybe I heard a plane and began thinking I might need to take cover....but nah....I'm so far from....and just that quick a Super Cub came around the last bend and was flying on the deck right at me. All I remember was getting a handful of towel and busting (ass) for the willows as the Cub buzzed me. I never made cover and watched as the pilot angled the plane for a look....I swear I could see his teeth.

 

[Azone]

I've caught a few people banging away and I've also come across a few people higher than a kyte. Its California so nothing shocks me anymore out here.
The one image though that just haunts me till this day was the massive pile of shit and toilet paper that had several pieces of bloody gause laying next to it at the parking spot that leads to one of one of my favorite honey holes at Ft. Hunter Liggett. I wont go as far to repeat what was said by me and those there that morning, not forum appropriate at all, but we all came to the conclusion that someone definitely had a bad morning.
To all you road side deuce droppers reading this please have the decency to get off the trail/road or parking area when you do your business.

 

[TREE ‘EM]

I was knee-deep in a creek remaking a mink set when I heard a man’s voice nearby yelling out “don’t hurt my birds”. I looked up to see a very distressed looking older man standing on the creek bank above me with a large stick in his hand. I looked up and asked him WTF he was talking about.
His voice cracked and he shook as he screamed out DON’T HURT MY BIRDS!
I calmly looked up at him with my trapping trowel in my hand and explained that I wouldn’t hurt his birds and would he please help me dig this hole to get rid of the body I had the back of my truck. He stood there quivering with rage and scowling at me for a short time then said “carry-on”and walked away.

Raccoon trapping in an urban area I had a crack whore offer to trade me a BJ for the box of little Debbie Swiss cake Rolls I had in my bucket for bait

Fisher trapping in the Adirondacks my partner Joe and I found a woodstove that a tree had grown up around and carried about 20 feet up in the air. Joe cut the tree down and packed out an 8 foot section of it with the stove in it. As far as I know it’s still in his trap shed

 

[jspradley]

Raccoon trapping in an urban area I had a crack whore offer to trade me a BJ for the box of little Debbie Swiss cake Rolls I had in my bucket for bait

Was it worth it?

 

[ArrowForester]

a tree had grown up around and carried about 20 feet up in the air

Excuse me?

 

[jspradley]

Excuse me?

"Joe and I found a woodstove that a tree had grown up around and carried about 20 feet up in the air. "

 

[ArrowForester]

Yeah, that's what I thought I read. If that were happening it would be the thing that I couldn't unsee and I would have to quit the back country and change careers.......

 

[ArrowForester]

Back on topic.....

I once encountered a guy walking through a meadow of wildflowers with a butterfly net in his left hand and a framing hammer in his right hand. I didn't want to ask.

 

[Ashy Larry]

I don’t think it’s in the nature of a tree to carry an object up. I think the item was placed there and then the tree continued doing what trees do.

 

[traviswdalton]

I don’t think it’s in the nature of a tree to carry an object up. I think the item was placed there and then the tree continued doing what trees do.

I wondered how long it would be before someone pointed that out. LOL fences everywhere would be 20 foot up in the air.


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